Mikel, 02-11-79
I've been struggling with a relationship with since the beginning of this year, we broke-up (she left me) and become friends the same day but barely last a month. We haven't had any contact in the last months and it doesn't look like that's going to change. I sent her a text message some days ago but it doens't seem she's going to answer.

I'm planning to start a new life from zero before the year ends in the city where she lives. I'd like to now how the rest of the year is going to be for me if I met someone special if we fix our friendship during the course of the year and basically if I will be happy.

I'm trying to act following my instinct from now on whatever it brings me but I would appreciate a lot a reading of the things to come or even telling me if the things between my ex and me are as bad as they seem.

If you could help me in any of these matters I would be very grateful.

Best wishes and love!

Hello Mikel,

One wonders how much worse things could be between you and your ex if you have had no contact over the last few months and she was the one who left you. While I do feel deeply for you and realise how upsetting this must be to you, your reading is effectively saying that it is time to let go of her and to give yourself the opportunity to form a new friendship and perhaps later a romance with a more mature woman who is  able and willing to give you the type of lasting love you so deserve. I really hate to be the bringer of bad news, but my inner guidance is saying that the writing is clearly on the wall with regards to the end of your previous relationship, and that anything you do now in the way of attempting to revive it to anything like it's previous level will not be of any help and could potentially only serve to make things worse.

I am not saying that this process of letting go of this girl in both your heart and mind is going to be easy, but your only other option is to remain permanently stuck and feeling as though you are no longer worthy of being loved. This is absolutely not the case with you (you deserve to be loved and to share your love with someone who loves you as you are as much as the next person does), but it would feel this way to you, and in the end this is what really counts. Go ahead and start your new life in the city where your ex also lives, but do not wait indefinitely for her to come around to your own way of thinking, because your reading is saying that to do so you would only be hurting yourself and prolonging the pain involved.

But it is impossible for you to start from zero as you are no longer quite the same man as you were before you met your now ex. It is a fact that each of us are forever changed in one of many possible ways by our life experiences, and hopefully you are both a little older and wiser from having gone through all this and will take from your former relationship whatever positive lessons you are able rather than allowing it to destroy what remains of your self confidence and dignity.

They do say that life is what happens to us while we are busily making other plans (credits to John Lennon), and I do feel that a change of surroundings would be beneficial to you in restoring your confidence, that is if you do not sit there and brood about what could have been but will now sadly never come to pass. I do feel that there is great promise of a much happier and more satisfying life in general over the coming months if you can only rise above the ashes of your former relationship and turn your thoughts on a more positive direction once again. By doing this you are planting the seeds of a new relationship for you in the future.

While I cannot predict one way or the other whether you will meet the special woman you have been looking for in your life over the next six months or so, I can at least tell you on the basis of this reading that your chances of meeting her and being ready when she finally enters your life will be significantly greater if you can put your ex and the hurt she has caused you behind you, and have opened up your heart and mind to the real possibility that true love for you could very well be waiting just around the next corner or bend in the road.

Yes there is a very real possibility that you can start your life afresh, although forever changed by the experiences you have had up until now, as long as you do not become bogged down by negative thoughts that try to make you believe that your ex was your last chance for happiness and that what happened was entirely your fault. I totally disagree on both counts (there will be many more opportunities for happiness with someone else and both people in a relationship must share the responsibility for whatever happens). Perhaps your only failing was that you did not see this coming earlier, as although there is not so much of a stigma involved with a nine year age difference between the man and woman these days, I do feel that there were forces external to your relationship that eventually conspired against you both staying together.

But that is now firmly in the past, and to analyse what happened in every little detail and ask what if is not going to get you anywhere towards rebuilding your life as you best see fit to do so, so my advice would be to not continue to dwell on this as it is only likely to make you feel less motivated to look for someone better who will appreciate your many positive qualities, rather than more.

Hoping that you will find these insights to be of some help and comfort to you,

May your God go with you always,

eye_of_tiger

Mikel, I hope you don't mind me jumping on this post and I don't claim to be psychic either but I just wanted to let you know that even though it is hard for you at the moment you need to let go and release everything about this relationship and move on in your own life. You seem to have been living around her and waiting on her and in the process of doing this you are missing out on valuable time in your own life and may be missing the opportunities to find miss right for you who will give you the love that you need. We only have one shot in the here and now and time is too precious to chase some girl who has most likely moved on in her own life. You obviously felt deeply for this girl and you probably are scared of getting hurt again but just because this relationship has ended it doesn't mean that you won't experience these feelings and have someone feel the same way about you also, which I don't think your ex felt the same way as you or else she would still be with you.... All the best Mikel

Thanks for your time and your encouragement eye of the tiger,

Don't worry about being the bringer of the bad news, it's better to know them than wasting my time chasing ghosts from the past.
I "officially" start to definitively let go whis monday since I noticed my message only had served to get things worse, at first I felt good, fresh and all that but of course things area not that easy and I still have "outbursts" that remember me things she told me that make me feel like crap, they happen in any moment with no particular reason and they're extremely painful and depressing. I mean it's amazing that the same person (I know she's not the same person anymore but you know what I mean) that told me with all her heart the most beautiful and loving things someone can hear has told me such cruel things so easily.

Of course, I know it's still soon for another relationship I'm not ready I want to be strong when I face that not weak as I still am now but I guess it's good to know the possibilities exists.

About trusting someone again, well as you said what I have faced in this relationship has changed both of us forever and has totally devastated my self-steem in all the ways it could have done it.

About the blame, I don't have any doubt that it was shared, I don't know the % of each one but actually I don't care.

I like to hear that if I get to rise from the ashes I'll be able to attract someone special, believe me I'm trying it as hard as I can.

By the way, I have dreamt with her twice in less than a week, can I make that stop some way? I really prefer not to dream about her, especially when the dreams seem to happen in a very realistic present.

PS: I have sentl you more a pm with more info for helping me ¿erase? the outbursts.

beleever,

Don't worry any advice is welcome, I know what I have to do it's hard but it's the only option so I hope with time I'll get over it.
We both felt a lot for each other, even after the break-up but it was obvious there was no turning back and the last love act that you can do for someone you love is the hardest one: let them be happy no matter what.

Thanks both for your words and encouragement.
Best wishes and love to all of you!

As I have also written in my response to your private message, I feel that I cannot help you any further beyond giving you this reading, and answering any questions which may come out of it to the best of my ability. It sounds that you may need professional help to learn to deal with this sad situation in both a balanced and mature manner.

I feel that the book or course you are using as your guide is badly flawed with regards to the moral principles it professes to teach. Sometimes we need to accept although this is never easy that some things were never meant to be, and wasting your valuable time and energy trying to make them work only prevents you from moving on with the rest of our life, perhaps with someone else.

Hoping that you will eventually be able to rise above this and ultimately find lasting happiness with someone else.

Your's faithfully,

eye_of_tiger