Well,

As you know I am kind of new here.  I hate asking for more help but I have to.

You can look up my history if need be, but, I have to add this:  

I was told on Monday that my husband, ( soon to be divorced ) had a heart attack last thursday.  He wanted to tell his 11 year old son that he coudn't make his scheduled visitation.  This is all through lawyers.  

I have this feeling that he's going "home".   I keep opening or seeing things that point towards this.

As angry as I am, I used to love who I thought he was.  I don't wish him pain, I am wishing him now to find God's love.  

Is this wrong?  What is happening?  

I need to be strong for all of the children.

Tell me what you see, please.  Tell me if I can help the kids.

Thank you,
Blueeyesflashing

Always let your anger "vanish" it will never do you anything good, it will always consume your positivity one way or another, and it gives never anything back.

It is especially important to let your "Anger Vanish" in a situation like this, because this is a very important time for your son.

The best way you can support your son, is to contact your husband and tell him to behave like an "adult".

It's ok that he is not able to go on vacation, but in my view it is very important that your son have the feeling that he have the opportunity to give support, and if death should happen, the ability to take a proper farewell with him.

It will also be very important for you, later on, to have the feeling that you did everything in your power to ensure your son got this opportunities.

Good luck....and from one who have been true "bypass", they are very clever today, can almost fix you back as new!

Thank you for your support and giving me a reality check.  

This is his second heart attack in 1 year.  He had a stent implanted the first time.  I raced him to the hospital. Only to find out the following day from his girlfriend's husband that he had been having an affair.  

Something keeps nagging at me.  

I think he is a broken man.  I don't want to add to it.  I don't want to be shocked if something happens.  

I have these feelings.  

Am I on target?

Thank you,
Blueeyesflashing

I can fully understand that after a long marriage/relationship, one feel down, hurt, hate...yea in short.."raped", in your situation.

The worst thing with this feeling is that it only hurt you, and those who love you, (because they see how you suffer)

It's ok to suffer for a little while, but true meditation and focus on good thing in life, like your son, you will be able to be a happy energized woman again.

If the case was that our suffer, hurt those who had hurt us, then the case would have been different ( ), but now we let us self "suffer twice" .

I agree it is easy for me to say...and hard for one who suffer to understand...but my hope is that a little seed is given, and then your days might become brighter

As for me, I have learned that I always shall try to enjoy my life when I have it (I don't always manage)
I try never to have any arguments going, most of them aren't worth it, if I am gone, the world will go on as before, I have just let someone suffer.
It is of course a " direct cause" of my bypass, where I was "almost dead" and that opened my eyes for how much fuzz we can make over "little thing", when we in reality has a short time to live and to enjoy ourself

Life is about changes happening.  People get sick, people die suddenly.  My favorite cousin died several years ago when he made a u turn and was hit by a train. The shock was incredible.

What is important is to help your children deal with their feelings.  Listen, hear, really hear what they are saying and feeling.  Don't discount their feelings at all.  
This is their father, they may want to say what they need to to their dad.  They may want to be complete with him, no matter what happens now.  
Life is about choices, the choices we make.  Making difficult and painful decisions is part of life.  Walking thru death and being complete around death is very important.  
We learn what is really important at times of poor health and death.  The best or the worst can come out in people.
You have decisions to make about how you want to be a role model for your kids and how you want to help them deal with death and people.  
Compassion, caring, sharing, giving support and love, with no strings attached, is important.
When my cousin died, I lost the rest of my family.  His widow choose to never see me again.  I am cut out.  
I don't regret being there for her.  I don't regret reaching out and doing what was right at the time.  
Her decisions are hers.  Mine are mine.  I can happily live with myself.

Whether he dies now or not, you kids have an opportunity to be complete, be present when someone else is in need, learn how to give and feel good about oneself in how one gives to others.  

You have lots of choices.  You can always help or hurt your children.  I would hope your choice now is to help your children be present with difficult parts of life.  

No matter what you have a chance to help your children to love, love each other, their family and themselves.  That is always the best choice to me.

The very best to you at this time.  Hugs to you and your family.