Thank you in advance. I am requesting a reading. I think you'll know why, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 18 · Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:53 pm

Hi Everyone,

I am new here, but I have been looking for a site like this for months. I really need a lot of help and hope!

My entire life has changed suddenly and I would like a general reading.

I am a female, dob April 9 1959

I am very grateful to those of you who offer your time and energy to aid others.

Sincerely,
Blueeyesflashing

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:32 am

As the above link clearly shows, I know exactly why you are requesting this general reading, but I do not claim to have become aware of this through any intuitive means. Effectively you are not asking for any sort of magic formula which could instantly make your intense pain melt away (if there was one I would be the first to give it to you) after the loss of your son in the tragic accident, or following your betrayal at the hands of the man you loved, which has lead to you ending your marriage to him. Any attempt on my part (no matter how good are my intentions) is not going to allow you to go back to how things were before, so your only option as I see it is to move forwards at your own comfortable pace, possibly with the assistance of your friends on these forums, as well as obtaining professional personal and legal advice or counselling as you feel the need of it. As someone else quite rightly told you on the other forum 4 years is hardly enough time to even begin to heal after having a part of your heart ripped away from you with the loss of your teenage son, and to then have to endure the death throes of your most intimate relationship amongst all of this seems more of a burden than any person should reasonably be expected to bear.

How we handle our grief (and there are two deaths here instead of only the one which is obvious) is such a highly personal matter, and there are therefore no right or wrong ways to gradually heal within yourself. Also there is no well defined period of time beyond which our grieving can be regarded as being pathological or unhealthy. It would be easier in the short term to believe that this is visible evidence that we have somehow failed to protect and communicate with those we love, or that life or God is punishing us for some past sin of which we have no memory or knowledge (this hardly seems reasonable for a loving God), but the long term consequences of this continuous self punishment are often negative to the extreme.

In addition to this you have other children and teenagers who are still to a large degree dependent on you (including emotionally dependent). I do not have to remind you of this, as I feel that this is constantly in your thoughts each and every day. Your son who you felt you lost those 4 years ago is now beyond his own pain, but feels your's even more keenly, knowing that you have always done your very best for those who were under your care and wishing he could once again hold you in his arms and tell you how proud he is to have been able to call you his mother. I do not know who was legally responsible for this accident happening, but your son's only "crime" may be that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Whatever happened which resulted in his passing could not have been changed in any manner by you intervening, even though his mother's mind is constantly accusing her (even while sleeping) of not doing something to either reduce the chances of it happening, or perhaps preventing it entirely. To put this sensitively I feel that your son was particularly strong willed, and that there was very little you could have possibly said that would have significantly changed his behaviour at the often rebellious age of around 16. He is frequently still very close to and supportive of you now from Spirit, and I feel that he has nothing but love to give you.

In other words he holds no grudges towards you whatsoever. He only wants you to do what makes you truly happy, and is sending you positive thoughts and healing energies to use as you desire, as we speak. If it is any comfort to you, he completely agrees with the legal proceedings currently going on around dissolving your marriage, and that it was the only thing you could realistically do under these circumstances (both for yourself and for his sisters or brothers). He does however remain concerned about your financial ability to cope, even after the divorce and settlement money comes through. He sends you both his love and his strength to help you in your life without him being physically present with you, although he is only less than a heartbeat away.

Something else that I seem to be picking up on with him is that there is the possibility that you might have put some money away for your son's education that he obviously does not need now. He appears to be telling you that you now have his blessing if you choose to use this as best you see fit. He is leaving it entirely up to you to decide what is in your own and your family's best interests, because he trusts you and knows that you would never wish to do anything that others outside of your situation might prejudge as being improper or dishonourable to his memory. He says go ahead! You are a survivor, although some days will continue be far better than others for some considerable time yet.

Love, Light and Healing,

eye_of_tiger

Posts: 18 · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:18 am

Dear Eye of Tiger,

Thank you so very much, You are so on target with my son!

My son was exceptionally strong willed!! In my heart I know that I couldn't have prevented his death, but I do wish I could have. I miss him so much.

When he was young I knew he would die young. I remember thinking "enjoy this moment" because he won't be with you for long. Later when he was 12 I dreamt he had died. It was an empty hollow dream, one filled with loss. I knew I wouldn't have him much longer.

3 days before he died, we had the best conversation we had ever had. We both cried together, he told me he was just a regular kid, and he didn't want me to think otherwise. He told me this " if I die tomorrow, just remember I am just a regular kid, trying my best". I am not trying to slam my husband, but my son was upset because he was accused of something and his father didn't defend him. We cried together, I joked with him: "When you were born I thought you could be the president, an ambassador anything . Right now I just want you to be safe. I want you to live."

He stood at my bedroom door and we promised each other that we would continue talking like this openly. We both promised and we cried. He died before we got that chance again.

He is incredibly strong, he has given me the strength to go on. I know he is the one who led me to discover his father's actions. I know he still tells me things. But I feel that he's going away, further. He doesn't want us to feel all of this pain.

It is really interesting when you talk about the savings for his education. As part of our ongoing divorce we are trying to finance our teens college and high schooling. We agreed to cash in Brendan's bonds to pay for my other son's education. I did what I could, my husband claimed he cashed them in. He never did, he didn't pay for his other son's schooling.

We are going thru a terrible financial time, I am worried.

His father immediately went to live with this former friend of mine. Her husband killed himself the same day I moved away. A year after we learned of their relationship. The day I moved to begin my new life, he ended his. I feel such incredible sadness because of this.

I do believe my son is trying to protect me. I also feel that he is so very very worried about his siblings.

I don't want to be consumed by grief, I do believe my son's life was destined.. I know he has opened my eyes to great things. I am afraid that I won't be able to take it all in and really live.

So many people were hurt, I just want my kids to know, really know that I LOVE them. If I could have saved them, any of them from this pain, I would have done anything.

This is not a soap opera, this is not fiction. I am so far from being a drama queen that I don't know how I got here.

Thank you so much for your help. I really need to hear and feel my children. Thank you for letting me vent my story. I don't want this pain any longer.

Thank you,
Blueeyesflashing

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 6:21 am

Dear Blueyesflashing,

I was thrilled to hear that my reading gave you some sense of your son Brendan still being with you, as this is what I feel. You are very welcome and I do genuinely hope that life will treat you more fairly in the future, as I know it has been anything but easy for you.

Quote:

He stood at my bedroom door and we promised each other that we would continue talking like this openly. We both promised and we cried. He died before we got that chance again.

But I do not think that you should be denied of this opportunity to tell Brendan exactly how you feel indefinitely. If you still have something of sentimental value which Brendan wore regularly try holding it as well as your cherished memories of him as you drift off to sleep each night, as this will I feel help him to communicate with you through your dreams.

Do not assume that out of sight necessarily means out of reach, as your prayers and the songs of love within his mother's heart resonates within his soul. His physical body may be gone, but he is now closer than ever, so talk to him during your quiet times of meditation and prayer and by so doing strengthen the connection which will always to a certain extent exist between you. Even long after your own time on Earth is finally over (which is definitely not for some years yet). We do not require the services of a medium to speak to our loved ones on the higher side of life. Speak to him as if he was physically present, and he will answer your questions in the proper fullness of time.

Peace to you all,

eye_of_tiger

Posts: 18 · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 4:29 pm

Dear Eye of Tiger

Thank you for your reading. I have so many items of Brendan's that give me solace, I will remember to go to sleep with the happy memories and hopefully he will hear me.

I often speak to him.

I guess I am just frightened. Frightened of lonliness, loss and starting all over. I amfraid I won't be able to trust myself or my judgement. I'm trying to remind myself to go with my "gut". Once you surpress that feeling, you give away your trust in yourself.

Will I ever find a man who will love me truly and with openness?

Thank you for your help. This has been a relief to write and discuss.

Thanks again
Blueeyesflashing