YES YOU WILL!

But it is up to you, you must dare to face life again....you must dare to love yourself.....you must dare to try and to fail.....You must dare to go on!
If you haven't started with meditation, then I recommend it...will help enormous.

BUT from what I have read I can see you are a warm and caring woman, which many a man will consider as a  the best quality in any woman they shall share their life with.
Don't let your husband action set the "standard" for the males, most of us are to be trusted, and will never do such a thing.

Good luck

you are right,

I need to mediate.  I need to feel secure in who I am.  I have been getting stronger, then knocked off base everyonce in a while.  

I am a loving person, I need to remember that giving love freely and unconditionally is only a good thing.  I can't let that truth be sullied with his actions.  

I can't let it get the better of me.  The only way I can do that is to help others, stop thinking of myself.  I need to give so I am open to receive.  I know it, now I have to actually do  it.  

Thank you for your time and energy.

With love,
Blueeyesflashing