I would be very grateful if someone could do a reading for me.

My divorce will be final in a couple weeks.  I have rekindled a relationship with someone from my distant past and find myself planning a future with him.  But I live in Colorado with my 2 young children and he lives in FL with his 2, he can not leave FL.  My x says I can do what I want but the children will not leave Colorado.....we have shared custody.  I can't imagine putting my life and happiness on hold for another 13-15 years until my kids are grown but I can't see how we can make this work.

I've been told I need to know in my heart what it is I truly want (and I do) and that the universe will take care of the rest but right now it just seems impossible.  Is there hope for me, my soul mate and our blended family?

My name is Kamilee, I was born Nov. 6, 1965.  I very much appreciate anyone's time in helping me to have hope in the future.  Thank you.

Welcome Kamilee,

Mmmmm. This is a very complex, sensitive and tricky situation which you currently find yourself in, both with regards to you wanting to be with the man you love, but also at the same time wanting to do the right thing by your children. Your ex will soon be completely out of the picture other than continuing to have visitation rights, and I am therefore wondering why if you feel that you would need to wait another 13 - 15 years for the children to grow up.

Exactly how do you define "grown up", and what are their current ages? If they are still very young then I believe that as their legal guardian that you have every right to make such a decision on their behalf, but of course moving to another state would require your ex's visitation rights to be first removed, in order to allow this to happen. Since he has already told you that you can do whatever you want with the children as long as they do not leave Colorado in the process, he is basically saying that you can only do what you feel is in your children's best interests, as long as it is always under his terms and not your own.

I am I must admit extremely hesitant to offer you friendly advice on the basis of a psychic reading alone (especially while your divorce is in the courts) which could unintentionally place you and your children in further physical or other danger. I cannot directly read your ex and I therefore do not know what he is likely to do if you assert your right to live wherever you choose to (and take the children). Is he likely to use violence or take the law into his own hands in order to have his way?

To be honest I do not feel that there is anything you can either practically or legally do until at least 12 months after the divorce comes through, but I sense that you will need to seek further legal advice at that time from a qualified advisor, with the intention to convince the authorities that joining your two families in Florida would provide a better environment for the children to grow up in, than if you stayed where you are now in Colorado.

In the meantime, I feel that the best you can do is to keep in close regular communication with your prospective partner in Florida through the telephone, snail mail or the internet, and depending on the ages of your children get them involved as well in order to build up a feeling in them that their family lies elsewhere, and that his children are their brothers or sisters and are interested in what they are doing at the time. In other words, establishing a firm foundation of mutual trust and a feeling of all being members of the same extended family, which you can later build upon in your efforts to combine your two families eventually into one cohesive unit, with some legal assistance as required.

Please let me know if you have found this reading helpful, and/or whether instead you need further clarification on a point I made as part of it.

Loving regards to you and your dear family,

eye_of_tiger

Thank you eye of the tiger.  I should clarify a few things.  My x will not soon be out of the picture he does not have visitation rights he has 50% shared custody, shared decisions on raising the kids, this is the way Colorado does it.  

We, at this time have an amicable divorce going on.  We have agreed on everything and neither of us has hired an attorney.  I did a do it yourself divorce clinic and the whole thing cost us $50.  It does state in the divorce agreements that neither of us intend on moving out of state at this time and if that were to change we would need to petition the court if we were unable to agree.

My children are 9 & 6.  I am not their legal guardian,again we have shared custody although I have been the primary caretaker since they were born and continue to work part-time so I can be there to take them to school and pick them up.  I do have them 19 out of 31 days of the month so technically it is 60/40% custody.

He has told me I can do what I want with my life but the kids can not leave Colorado.  I do not want to be forced to air his dirty laundry in court but if he forces my hand I am prepared.  You are right he wants things under his terms.

My SO and I have regular contact.  I just bought plane tickets for the boys and myself to go visit him and the kids in April.  Even though my x said "no way"  the kids are out of school for spring break and with me on my visitation schedule so really he has no say.

I did have a question on what you said about not being able to legally do anything until 12 months after the divorce.  Why is that?  You mean I can not petition the court to move out of state until a year after the divorce is final?!

Thank you for your time!

You are very welcome for the reading, and I would be pleased to make my intended meanings a little clearer to you.

You asked......



And this is what I actually said..........



There is a very big difference between me feeling that there is nothing  you can legally do until after at least twelve months have passed after the divorce, and me having knowledge of the laws that pertain to divorce and shared custody arrangements in Colorado, while I am living in Adelaide, South Australia. I cannot give an actual logical reason why I feel this to be, but I am only passing the message on to you as I have received it (I cannot do anything else).

 

Other than the shared visitation rights that I mentioned in your reading and the right to help decide how best to bring up your children, your ex will effectively be soon largely out of the picture, specifically in regard to how you yourself relate to them when they are with you instead of with him, once the divorce papers are signed, sealed and delivered.



At this time is the operative phrase of your agreement. It leaves open the option that at a later time your move to Florida with the children may be negotiated. Without that phrase being included, you would not I feel have a legal leg to stand on in trying to change your ex's mind possibly at least 12 months from now.



Then they are already getting to the ages of at least having their own opinion with regards to where they would prefer to live.

Isn't this defined legally as co guardianship in Colorado? What then are your individual rights as legal co guardians of your two children, whether it be a 50 - 50 or a 60 - 40 arrangement?



With due respect if he forces your hand, I do not feel you have any other option than to do so, although taking it to the courts could be expensive (what's new?). We will do whatever we can from this end in order to provide you with whatever moral support you require, regardless of what you eventually decide.

Love, Light and Peace,

eye_of_tiger

Thank you eye of the tiger.   Making your intended meanings clearer was very helpful to me.  I appreciate your time and assistance!

Kami