Hi Mango Mom... I hope this isnt too soon for me to ask for the reading to be done. If so.. I will keep trying. I am so confused and I dont want to repeat mistakes. I dont know if you got the last info i sent, but I just want to find out what is best for me, and my family in a whole.
First, my marriage. I feel soo empty in it, I am not happy. I feel he never had real love for me since the beginning, and the reason we stayed together this long was because I loved him. Maybe also because we are both afraid to be alone. I dont know. He is saying that he is going to leave, but he hasnt done anything as yet. He is saying he is going to ask my sister to talk to me about allowing him to stay with me if i go to NY. I do want him near my son, but.... i dont think i want him full time as a husband. I still dont feel the element of love from him. Is there any hope in it for us? Can he ever help fill my need for the love a wife has? I am confused about whats right in all of this.. so help. Do I love him still? I dont think I do. I have love for him and care about him and I want us to be friends but I am not in love with him. I am afraid that the energies we produce together will smother my son. Again.. HELP.
Second...my children. Are they going to be fine?
Third..my moving.... I am desiring to move to NY soon. I put in a transfer to be closer to my mom. I desire ultimately NC... but NY is more fesible at this time because it is where she is. What i am hoping is that after me being in NY for a year, I can save enough to buy my mom a home in NC and me and my son move there after I transfer
Fourth, I have business ideas. They stem from writing poetry, books to cooking and having a business in entertainment. I am not very verbal in speaking, but I have personality. Maybe too silly, but I think I am fun, so it may deem well in the business I want. Do you see this as a proposition and which avenue do I lean to mostly?
Fifth... if I get divorced. Will my husband be happy and will we be friends. I dont want to be an enemy.
Sixth. What can I do to make me feel better about myself. What avenues do I take to better me. I know to be an asset even to my kids.. I have to make sure I am good. I am very insecure in so many ways. How can I see me better? and move there of ( towards betterment).
Seventh..What about my other friend. I now know why he left, he told me, but is he being truthful. He talks to me briefly, periodically to say hello. What impact will he have in my life? He was a good help. Plus a good friend for me. I spoke to you b4 concerning this... because I feel that things doesnt happen haphazardly. Also, when we met, I felt we were supposed to be friends. Is this true? At times..I feel ok, then the questions come and I wonder whats true. What point do he have in my life, and why its so hard to shake him. I have other male friends, and I dont let anyone get very close as I did him. I am not just allowing people in and out. It has to move me to allow it to be so. I know he isnt my soul mate, at least i dont think so. I just feel he is supposed to be one who stays. Is this wishful thinking. He isnt charming.. but his what he gives I think is supposed to be part of my life and what I give him is for him in his life(whatever that is). Am i wrong?
Shucks.. I have sooo many questions unanswered, and I know we wont know everything.. so i have some here listed... If you get more.. please feel free to tell, cause i will be listening and i dont want to walk in circles.
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