Wonder,

You are not inadequate!!!!!!! you have a beautiful child....remember that guys don't think the same as women and their needs in a relationship are different to yours...it is possible to come back together....think back to the beginning of your relationship...what was it that attracted the two of you?  What was it that kept you together in the early days?

sorry perhaps I'm talking out of turn...

no need to reply just things to think about....maybe

Wonder, It's that time!  I have opened your records and am ready to do your reading.


The RecordKeepers want to remind you that when you make a decision with the intent to do the right thing, you make the right decision with the tools and information you have at the time.



Both of you have stopped loving, each is trying to prove that they are the smarter or stronger in control.  You have lost sight of what the marriage is about.  Partnership, companionship, co-existence.  There is anger and resentment between the two of you and yes, your son feels this, as a child his perception is so totally different from reality.  You and your husband argue over the son, but he feels he is the cause of your unhappiness, so he is trying so much harder to make you love him and be happy.  Do you look at your husband the way you did when you first married?  Was that love?  Or were you in love with the idea of being in love.  You say he doesn't love you back, perhaps he is unable to show emotions of caring, happiness, etc, because he was never allowed to show feelings.  The same goes for you, you put on a face of another person, you don't allow anyone in to see the real, beautiful you.  You put up strong expectations on what your married life would be like and have been so disappointed that it did not turn out the way you wanted.  Take a step back and look at what you have created and developed, stop looking at the empty portion of the glass and look at the filled portion of the glass.  



Of course your childrend are going to be fine, children are survivors, they develop perceptions to be able to cope with life, you were one, remember?



If you choose to make the move to NY you will soon discover that the cost of living there will take everything you earn.  Consider the possibility of a move to NC and have your mother come to help you, rather than having the feeling of living in a temporary place.  Your choices are there and it is up to you to make these choices, the RecordKeepers want you to see that you have to rely on decisions you make and not what might be.  You need clarity in your mind and in your heart, but you seem to be going about it in the wrong way.  Slow down, pray and ask God and your Guides for Guidance, you are going in so many directions, they can't get a word in edgewise.     Take some time, go get a massage, meditate and let your mind clear.  You are making things so much more difficult because you want all the right answers and directions and don't want to make the choices your self.  Take it one step at a time.  God Loves You, God will bring you through all this.



A business in entertainment would be very difficult for you because you have to make decisions on the "fly" at this time in your life you are unable to be successful at this.  Perhaps in six months to a year you will be able to accomplish this feat.



I have seen very few relationships that end in divorce become a friendship.  It can be done.  We are talking about two people here, you have no control over how your husband will feel or behave.  Only yourself.  Would he be an enemy?  Probably, if this were to come about, consider that you have destroyed his ego, he is not worthy of making you happy, you want more than he is able to give.  When you are disappointed and hurt, don't you slash out in anger?  It will be up to the two of you if you chose to divorce how your relationship will be.



The first step was taken when you saw the concern.  The next step is to believe in the God of your choice, know that we teach by example.  Love yourself as God Loves you, unconditionally.  You can make mistakes and be wrong, just admit it and don't carry that baggage around.  You are a good person and it will shine through.  Feed into your spirituality, find me time and get to know yourself, you are a really wonderful person, God knows it, but you haven't discovered that yet.  We are not perfect, we are human beings, they always make mistakes, the secret is to learn that this was an experience and go forth with love and acceptance.



Again, you are in love with the idea of being in love with the perfect mate.  Your friend is not the perfect mate, nor are you, none of us are perfect.  Is he the one?  I get that he needs to be out of the picture until you get control of your present life, don't muddy the waters with other decisions or choices at this time.  Give yourself six months to make good decisions based on the tools and information you have at this time, then you can "go there" with your friend.  If it is meant to be, it doesn't matter whether it is 6 months or 6 years, it will happen.

Take some time, Hon, learn to love yourself, don't try to make so many life changing choices at once, God is with you and you can trust that you will come through this with shining results.

Lots of Love, Light and Laugther
MangoMom

THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DO THIS READING FOR ME.  IT IS REALLY APPRECIATED. REALLY REALLY IS APPRECIATED.

I CAN AGREE TO ALL THAT U SAID.  I WANT TO RE READ WHAT U WROTE SO I WONT GET ANYTHING MIS INTERPERTED, BUT YOU ARE RIGHT. THANKS FOR MAKING ME LAUGH WHEN U ANSWERED THE ONE ABOUT THE KIDS AND ME ONCE BEING ONE.  I GUESS WE DO SURVIVE.
I JUST WANT WHATS BEST FOR ALL INVOLVED AND I KNOW THAT IF I AM SELFISH IN WHAT I AM DOING, I WONT PROSPER. NOR WILL OTHERS... I WILL STOP TODAY, AND MEDITATE TO CLEAR MY MIND FROM SPINNING, BUT I AM AFRAID I WONT HEAR.

MY HUSBAND TRIED TO MAKE ME SEE THAT HE STILL LOVES ME, BUT ITS HARD TO LIVE WITH THE LOVE HE GIVES.  TOO MANY TIMES WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, I STOOD ALONE.  I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT THE DISAPPOINTMENT, BUT AS YOU SAID. WHATS THERE.

MY PLANNING TO GO TO NY, MEANT THAT I WOULD LIVE WITH MY MOM AND SAVE MY MONEY (HER BILLS ARE MUCH LESS), SO WE CAN BE ABLE TO BUY SOMETHNG WHERE SHE WAS RAISED IN NC.  I AM HOPING THE DECISION I MAKE WILL BE BEST.

AS FOR MY FRIEND, YOU ARE PROBABLY RIGHT.  HE NEEDS TO BE GONE PROBABLY BECAUSE I DEPENDED ON HIM.  I AM OK TODAY, BUT I GET AFRAID THAT MY FEELING WILL GO DOWN AGAIN AND I WILL GET NEEDY.  BUT IN A WAY MY QUESTION IS ANSWERED.  HE STILL TALKS PERIODICALLY, SO I GUESS HE IS STILL MY FRIEND.  TIME WILL TELL EVERYTHING.

WHAT I GOT MOSTLY FROM THIS.. IS IT IS MY CHOICE WHATEVER.. WITH THE GUIDANCE OF GOD. SO I MUST SEEK GUIDANCE.  (BUT IN A WAY THIS IS WHAT I WAS DOING THROUGH YOU, EVEN THROUGH MY FRIEND BECAUSE MY MIND HAS BEEN SO CLOUDED AND MY EMOTIONS NOT TRUSTWORTHY).  FROM YOUR FIRST ANSWER, I AM GOING TO BE OK, BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE WHAT IS IN MY HAND, AND I CAN ONLY CREATE WITH WHAT I HAVE... NOT WITH WHAT MAY COME. SO THANKS AGAIN.  XOXOXOXOXOXO... ULTIMATE!!!

One more thing I forgot to add.  for your own self assurance here is a daily prayer:

Take me in your arms Lord
enfold me in Thy Grace
Leave me in Thy Light and Love
that protects me in this place.

This will calm your jumbled mind, knowing that your God is Leading you and Protecting you.

Lots of Love, Light and Laugther
MangoMom

i got the last part and printed it out so i can have it... thanks..