hi have been through a judicial separation and it was finalised the other day it took a lot of tears and a lot of fight to get were i am today,  i am alone now and would be grateful if someone could tell me whats in store for me

Dear G,

I am truly sorry that you had to endure such a painful and long drawn out experience to have your separation finally recognised by the law. They say that life was never meant to be easy, but in my humble opinion some people do seem to attract much more than what is their fair share of hard knocks, through no apparent fault of their own. Although it was all eventually finalised on paper just the other day, the emotional wounds it has left are going to still take some considerable time to heal.

This does not mean that you should wait indefinitely until your tears no longer randomly come to the surface without any warning to begin looking for another partner, and only you have the right to decide when the proper time has arrived to take the risks involved in beginning a relationship with another man. Don't let them tell you that there is some defined period of time when everybody has reached this stage, as the ways in which we cope with significant losses in our lives are probably even more varied and unique than we each are from one another.

After what you feel is a necessary resting period, I feel that it would be in your best interests not to continue to sit around and feel sorry for yourself, but to get back to circulating socially as soon as is both possible and practical. You did not mention whether or not your union had been blessed with children, but if there are others depending on you, I believe that they would rather see you enjoying life once again, rather than letting what remains of your health and self confidence be constantly sacrificed for the sake of simply keeping them happy.

You need any other supportive members of your family with you now more than ever before, so take whatever time you need to grieve for a relationship which once held out such great promise to you, and do not place walls around your heart in a vain attempt to keep them out. Even if the only thing you can think of that they can do to help you is to be there to listen when you are ready to discuss these matters, by all means tell them as most people make terrible mind readers.

If you continue to push them away or unintentionally give them the false impression that you believe they cannot help you, you may soon find yourself feeling alone yet again and interpret their distance as a sign that your situation is hopeless. In other words, try to be as kind and understanding with yourself during this difficult transition period, as you have so often done with otherwise complete strangers in the past.

There is absolutely nothing in this reading which even mildly suggests that it is somehow your lot in life to remain permanently unattached, so please get rid of such toxic thoughts as this ASAP, as by continually focussing on it I believe that you will be unconsciously attracting the very condition into your life which you most fear - which is to be without a partner or companion for all the remaining years in your current lifetime.

Your major challenge as I see it for you is to learn to balance the needs of those who depend on you against your own, on a day to day basis. If you continue to always give their needs a greater priority than your own you could easily come to resent the people you most love and wish to help. What good is it going to be to them if you let yourself go and become a victim or martyr? They would I feel much rather have you, than anything that money could buy them. If you look at all that the future may still hold in store for you at once, you will soon overpower and unnecessarily frighten yourself, when if only you had taken a few positive steps in the right direction each day, overall you would eventually reach the same point with your nerves and sanity still relatively intact.

Slowly but surely and taking one day at a time is definitely the best strategy I can suggest to you during the coming months. After the darkness of storm has passed, the sun has now come out to brighten your day and to prepare you for the many wonderful opportunities for discovering a renewed sense of love and happiness in your life, which are only just now appearing on your horizon.

God Bless U,

eye_of_tiger

Glenellen,

While I do have some psychic abilities, it is not something I've learned to harness.  Things just sort of come to me randomly.  Therefore, I don't want you to think that I have made any major connection with you or that I'm an expert.

My first thought on reading your post was this:  Put purple in your living room, if you like!  

Being alone is not a bad thing.  Explore that aloneness because it's very important.  Being alone helps you define your own self - your tastes, your preferences, your strengths, your weaknesses.  It makes you stronger and forces you to confront things you didn't even know you could.  Once you find your comfort zone in being alone, you'll be surprised at how differently you choose your relationships.  

Warm Hugs and Best of Luck to YOU!

Thank you both very much for your reply