Hi Jen,
Life is for so many of us a particularly steep learning curve, and any progress we make is rarely in a straight line. Often it is more of a case of one step forwards closely followed by two steps backward, or so it seems. The prospect of getting this new job or even of keeping it is not going to make you truly happy for very long (although the regular extra income it would give you would of course be most welcome), if you are not already effectively happy within yourself. While getting a suitable job continues to be high up in your list of priorities, some of your deepest feelings which have been kept below the surface and not expressed are now coming through and this is causing you to feel very jumpy as though your nerves are on edge most of the time.
You are probably becoming a bit more weepy and emotionally vulnerable while this continues to happen, so my advice would be to take special care of your health and not to attempt to push this emotional healing process along too fast, according to your own time schedule. Many people when undergoing an emotional healing do not realise that at first things might seem to be worse rather than better, but please hang on and do not short circuit yourself before it even gets going.
On the basis of this intuitive reading, I feel that basically you feel as though you are acting entirely alone without any hope of getting outside help, or even that anybody will care. This deep sense of loneliness includes you wanting to have a life partner who will listen to you as though you are able to make important decisions fin your own best interests, and who respects your right to do so. Someone who treats you as a valued and equally intelligent being, rather than talking down to you. You need to love, and be loved in return for whom you already are?
But your inner loneliness also extends well beyond this into the spiritual aspects of your being. You are like so many of us in being fooled by the common illusion that you are an entirely separate individual from everyone else, when your instincts are telling you in no uncertain terms that at some deeper level you we are each a small but vitally important part of the One. Not only do you feel disconnected from everyone else around you, but you may wonder if your life has any real meaning and purpose beyond working in order to pay those endless bills.
I wanted to assure you that you are loved and valued by our Creator of which we are all an important part of, and that when you are willing to reach out for help as you have just done your call is heard loud and clear, and soon acted upon in positive ways that you cannot possibly imagine in your wildest dreams. When the student is ready the Master appears, although we may at first fail to recognise the important lessons on offer to us if we are looking outside of ourselves for true happiness, when surely it must first come from within.
May your God be with you always,
eye_of_tiger
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You are right about being more emotional and weepy. It's almost embarrassing at times! 
Hugs to you Jen.
