Would someone have some kind of advice or seeing in my love life, i'm so lost. we try really hard, but it always breaks apart. why? Why is it so? is there a reason why?
is it wrong and uncalled for from me to hope him to do something? why can't i show him that he has freedom? why doesn't he want to understand me? why is he hanging on to that? how bad is it?
is this it? what's gonna happen to us? i'm so lost and hopeless :((( if someone would want to help, it would be needed so much :(( I would appreciate...

Looking back at your previous postings it becomes obvious that this is an ongoing problem that is causing you much concern. There are I am afraid no magic formulas I can offer you to ensure that your relationships will not involve some disagreement and conflicts. To fully answer your excellent question I would need to look more closely at the dynamics of your relationship as a relationship counsellor would. Since I am a psychic reader I can only offer you insights and advice of a more general nature to try to help you with this very common problem.

1. Do not immediately assume that these problems are happening because of something either you or your partner did or did not do. Also, please do not be so hard upon yourself if you experience the inevitable ups and downs of living in any close relationship with another person on a regular basis. Part of the reason for you to be together is to work co-operatively with each other in the spirit of true love to overcomes these challenges. The promise of "they lived happily ever after" only exists in fairy tales, not in the real world.

2. The reasons for your relationship problems are probably complex and varied. If you choose to wait until you have resolved anything approaching 100% of your problems, then you will never begin. Just as with life, much of value in your relationship is about the process, rather than it's destination. Therefore see your relationship more as a learning opportunity in how to more harmoniously live with another human being who you also love (and equally importantly whom also loves you) on a day to day basis. We often learn more from the mistakes we make than we ever do from our little victories. Deal with each issue which is coming between you on an individual basis, rather than frightening and overpowering yourself by attempting to solve every problem you are having at the one time.

Realise that being human and therefore fallible, you are both going to make mistakes at times, and quite unintentionally hurt the feelings of the person you most love. Many people have such a highly sanitised idea of what love should be like, that they believe incorrectly that they can give and receive love with another person, without either sometimes feeling or causing pain. Often the more you love a person the greater is the pain you feel when you believe that you are not only losing them, but that you are also the one whom is entirely responsible.

3. There is a very common tendency for young people these days to believe that since their parents grew up in a completely different world from the present, they will therefore have no understanding of how difficult relationships can be, especially during the first few months or years. While it is perfectly true that your elders were forced to confront very different challenges in their generation, effectively human beings function and think much the same way now as they did way back then. I would therefore suggest that while only you and your partner can decide what of the information  your parents and elders are offering is either relevant or useful to you in your current relationship situation, simply choosing to ignore it entirely without looking at it more carefully would be most unwise.

4. One of the worst things I feel that you could do is to get into your head that your relationships are somehow destined to be doomed, no matter what you might do to try to improve matters. There is nothing in your reading that even indicates that this might be possible.



The answer to that question greatly depends on exactly what type of freedom you are talking about. Are you talking about having an open relationship where he is free to see any other woman as well as you, or are you instead believing that only by being willing to let him go, will he eventually come to realise just how much you love him? It appears from what you have told us that you are the person who has decided that you need to break up with him, but he is not yet willing to go. Could it be that there are issues that you as an individual need to first resolve within your current relationship, before you are adequately prepared to move on to another, and that the relationship you are trying to prematurely end is the only way in which you can better understand these things about yourself?

Unless he has abused you or you feel that by staying with him you are placing yourself in physical or emotional danger, my advice would be to see if there is any way that you could get him along to a relationship counsellor, with a view to trying to resolve your personal differences, before calling it quits. Even if you with the support of a counsellor is not able to patch up things between you, it might potentially mean that you will go into the next one carrying far less negative emotional baggage with you.



You need to work this out between you, preferably with the help of a professional counsellor. No this is NOT it. By what decisions you make now you are constantly creating and reshaping the possible future of this particular relationship. It is only a dead end if you both allow it to be. You both need to take immediate active and practical steps with your partner's full co-operation in order to turn things once more within your relationship once more in a more positive direction.

If he is neither willing to admit that he must share responsibility for your interpersonal problems, nor is he willing to visit a counsellor with you or listen to the advice of his elders, I do not see any future with this. Is he one of those men who could get violent and do you bodily harm if you forced him to leave you? If this is the case, get some free legal advice concerning what is the next step you should take, ASAP (but please be careful). I wish you all the love and happiness in the world.

Hoping that these insights have been of some help and comfort to you,

Love, Light and Peace,

eye_of_tiger  

I just get the feeling that you are hanging on to this guy but I would advise you to let things be, dont try to control him and take each day as it comes.

I know how hard it is to break up with someone but if this relationship is really not working out for you and giving you so much heart ache as you say in your post, you are just best to let things go, take it easy, take each day as it comes and dont try to control this guy or hang on to him.  He has free will and so you do so just let things be and things will take there course if this makes sense at all.

Im not going to say what will happen here as Im not sure but listen to your heart.  IF you feel things are going well then great, enjoy him, enjoy the day.  If you feel he drives you crazy or you are that unhappy then maybe sit down with him, talk to him and ask him what it is that he wants in this relationship.  If he doesnt want to talk then its up to you to make the decision on whether you should stay or go.  You just have to step back and analyse the situation and see where you get to.  It just feels like to me that you are just going around in circles and getting nowhere here.

Good luck


Rosemary

I'm sorry that my reply and thank you has taken a while. I've just been so tired because of these heartaches.
Thank you both!

Thank you eye_of_tiger for your long answer. There was so many things and advices that you said that I have been thinking a lot. Some i said to him too, they were so right for our situation.
I wish we could go to couples counselling, but that is not possible in our situation :(
That sometimes feels so overwhelming to know, that this is something that we can't get help to. And cause there's other problems too like mental health problems and addictions. And maybe this relationship and our past is the most difficult one to solve with those existing problems :(

I think he feels that i sometimes corner him and he feels he has no way out and that's what bugs him. And i do want him to feel free :( But not that much that he wouldn't take responsibility. It's so hard to get those things balanced...

I m not scared of him, it is a possibility that he might abuse me some day but i don't really know how that should scare me, that's why it doesn't i guess. He has alot of problems and i undestand that and i know that he is really scarred that he would someday do something to hurt me. And that is our biggest problem, cause he doesn't want to get closer because of that. And somethings you said made me understand him so much more, thank you. Thouhg he never really takes responsibility he always feels he's the reason to everything that goes wrong :(
And that's hard thing to feel :(

Some people have said to us that our souls have known each other in the past. Things are sometimes so ridiculous difficult that i wonder that maybe we have some old baggage or something.

But thank you so much! It's been so good to have be able to think about everyting you said and being able to think makes me less depressed, allthough alot of tears have been cried today too

And thank you Rosemary, I know i might be hanging on to him, but that's what my heart tells me to do :( this is the most important thing in my life and i know it. That's why it's so difficult. I don't have it in me to leave, and i don't want to either. Sometimes i feel that's what i should do though :(
we are going around in circles, thats so true. I would so much want that to change and have a happy life with him :(

Thank you both!

It was both my great pleasure and privilege to be given this opportunity to read for you. Life was never meant to be always easy, but your courage and perseverance will eventually be rewarded many times over.

Loving regards,

eye_of_tiger