I would like to know if there's anything great involving romance heading my way any time soon. My name is Chelsea and my sign is Leo. Thanks!

Dear Chelsea,

I was just looking back at the reading I gave you less than a month ago, and was wondering as to what happened with both Robert and John. Are you still seeing either of these two men on a fairly regular basis, or did neither relationship nor reunion work out?

I was under the distinct impression from what you wrote on November 25th that Robert seemed to want to make a commitment and get back with you, and John who you first met through him working with your mother (and a Sagittarian like me) seemed to have a lot in common with you.

With due respect, I feel that there are still too many unanswered questions about these two previous relationships of your's (although the one with Robert was a deeper one), to be now asking about the possibility of you starting another one within the next six months. You are I feel by so doing carrying too much negative emotional baggage (mainly issues of lack of trust) with you at present into any future relationships. Some of your concerns may seem perfectly logical to you, but I feel that when it comes to at least these two men your emotions could possibly be getting the best of your reasoning abilities (which are normally very accurate).

Let us I would suggest get clearer in our own minds first about why you decided in the end not to accept either of Robert or John as your partner, but you are now suddenly willing to accept someone else. Before reading something into this which may have no basis in reality, I do believe that we should first look to more obvious explanations as to what could have gone wrong, that lead to Robert breaking up with you. I feel that the situation with John was more a case of him being willing to listen to you as a sympathetic and caring friend (with a shoulder to cry on), rather than as a direct substitute for your ex boyfriend.

Hoping this helps,

eye_of_tiger

Okay, well I'll explain what happened with Robert and John. I talked to Robert about getting back together, and every time I was with him it was basically like we were, but after he left he'd always say it was too hard with him being in college. He also said long distance relationships don't work for him. I knew that if I continued to be with him just to have him tell me that when he left, I would continue to get hurt. I did have deep feelings for him...but he said unless something changes in the future somehow, we can't be in a relationship together. As for John, I feel as if he just would rather be friends. We don't speak that much, but are planning to hang out sometime soon but I still get the feeling he only wants to be friends.

I hope that helps clear things up a little?

I must apologise for all these deeply personal questions (I did not expect you to answer them on the forum if they were too sensitive or painful for you), but I do feel that there are at least two ongoing issues which are yet to be resolved with regard to these and any future intimate relationships.

One is those difficulties you experience is in your inability to trust men in general, and the other as I see it is why either John or yourself would prefer to remain only good friends.

There is a definite feeling with your reading that you and perhaps John as well fears someone else getting too close to you, in case you are let down by the other person once again. It therefore seems safer not to get too emotionally involved with them by remaining their friend, in order to protect yourself from being hurt yet another time.

What are your own thoughts about these two issues I mentioned? Do you feel that either or both of these are major ones for you, or alternately are there any other reasons you can think of for now feeling that your losing Robert quickly followed closely by John as romantic partners was entirely your fault (which I do not believe for one moment it was, in either instance)?

eye_of_tiger

I definitely agree that I have trust issues, especially after the breakup with my last boyfriend 2 months ago. I just don't want that to happen again with anyone else. I don't, however, feel that losing Robert was my fault. I believe he just didn't want to make a commitment, he said long-distance relationships don't work for him and he wasn't very open-minded about the topic. As for John, I do get the feeling that something is holding him back. I know that he was previously hurt by someone as well. I'm not sure if the feeling that he just wants to be friends is from my trust issues, however.