I'm going thru some hard times and would like some insight on my future so I don't screw up again.

Thank You Mango Mom for answering my letter I think I messed up and put the note in the wrong place so I'm doing one here too. I'm just an airhead lately. I really screwed up my life and I don't have a clue how to fix it.  The one thing I think I do know is that I still love my ex and wish I had never left home especially because of where he was, I lost my head. I have been  getting more depressed everyday and it started when he had to go away. I was hoping you could give me some insight or a direction in which I could go to get us back together, thats if it isn't to late.  We started talking again in April or May and he talked like he was going to come here and help me get back home and maybe we could work things out. But then I think a friend of ours(if you can call her a friend I have never seen someone so miserable all the time) has been giving him an earful and talks bad about me.  I never really gave her reason to do so either.  I would really appreciate any insight on the issue.
I thank you very much:)
Jen

Hello dearest,

I have received your request and have opened your records.

Hon, what I get is this man is somewhat abusive, he has been playing games with you and things he says others have said is not true, he is saying those things, gaining information from others.  You are much better off where you are, start a new life, there are some awesome adventures waiting for you.  I see a lovely, lasting relationship for you in about 3 or 4 months, this man is very kind, will enjoy talking with you and loves to listen.  You have an opportunity for an excellent job, in an area that you never expected.  I can't get a clear picture of it, but it will be fun and you will get paid for it very well.

Your guides saw a way to get you out of an unhealthy relationship, don't mess up their hard work by continuing trying to talk to him, don't look back, you should always look forward.  Trust in your guides and your God, you are exactly where you need to be hon.  Thank God for the Blessings you have received and the many more that are in store for you, it will be awesome.  And keep us posted!   We will keep you in our prayers that you continue with the strength to remain where you are.  God opens doors that are needed to take care of you and will close those that are not good for you, don't try to take it back and mess it up .

Lots of Love, Light and Laugther
MangoMom

Thank You so very much Mangomom you are so great...Hugs...Hugs...if you only knew how much this has helped:) I felt like I was being pulled in different directions. I thought I was worst off here and was wondered what I had got myself into because of the drugs that are around. I'm also afraid to go out into the city to find work I have lived in smaller towns where they don't drive like maniac's. So I'll start by getting out and walking the couple blocks to the store and back. It's a dollar store:) so I can get some candles and scents to help relax and meditate.

I'm pretty sure I am/was confusing love for security because I feel old and I know if I had stayed I would of had a nice home, the money to do what ever I wanted too, friends who would always be up for a party or shooting pool and I'd always have my old job. They loved me there:) and I loved them. But, I also would have given up a bigger part of me in staying there.
 
[Hon, what I get is this man is somewhat abusive,]

He was verbally abusive at times, he would break things when he got to frustrated, maybe he got physical a time or two, and I know he drank to much. But, then I started drinking more also and I'm sure I fell right back into my co-dependent ways, I just have this need to try and fix everything and everybody but me and Lord knows I need some fixing up myself. He also filed papers with the courts saying...On or about Nov 2004 blah, blah.... that I bestowed upon him undue influence in which caused him to give me a percentage of our home. When it was really at his best interest to put me on the title and mortgage so he could file bankruptcy and get a better interest rate cuz I had good credit then.(I say our home because we were going to get married there and we both sold our places and picked it out together and repainted it etc. He put the down payment on it and paid alot of the bills and I paid house hold things) He just needs me off the title so he can refinance and he doesn't want to give me any compensation. I told him to just give me $10,000 awhile ago and I would sign the paper at that time it would of saved my credit. I'll have to go back for court sometime, but I won't stay:)

[he has been playing games with you and things he says others have said is not true, he is saying those things, gaining information from others.]

When he got out of jail he wrote me and asked me to call him since he didn't know where I was he had to send it to our old house and hope it got forwarded to me. Anyhow back in April or May when we first started talking again I wasn't ready to go back and he wrote some letters that broke my heart and he would call wanting me to come back and I could even have the spare bedroom until we worked out our problems, about the time I was ready to go back he didn't want to anymore and I got court papers. He has been talking to everybody in town and not saying anything nice about me I'm sure so I was a bit surprised that anyone had anything good to say about me. Even my old friends seemed to not want to talk to me anymore. I figured that they couldn't of been very good friends if they listen to him. I think that my job was the hardest to give up as "the crew" just sent me a birthday card wishing me well and my dear Cheryl said maybe we could go to church together when I came back. They are kind of expecting me to work for them next summer.  Ed taught me how to run electric in new apartment buildings that we built.  My boss, his family and Cheryl and her family are the greatest people every year Ed and others from the church go to Mexico and build a new school, church or I think even houses. It's there way of giving back:)   bless there hearts. Cheryl and I would stay and take care of all the apartments.  Wow I can be long winded I hope I met someone that can put up with all my talking:) I realized to that J--- and my ex husband have the same birthday 12/12 but different years 59 and 61 and had I stayed J-- got out on March 19th and that was the day my ex-husband and I got married back in 1983. So I was thinking does that mean I made another full cycle and still didn't learn much, well actually I see a pattern going in that needs fixed.  Oh Jen shut up:) sorry I talk so much:)  Again Thank You very much...Blessed be

Thank you so much for your input.  My heart goes out to you.  I know it is tough to start a new life, but believe me it is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it a good one.  Keep us posted and feel free to set up a blog on the forum and just vent your frustrations, it will help immensely .

Lots of Love, Light and Laugther
MangoMom

Sometimes I wonder about the not written in stone part of life and if we both worked on ourselves if we could have that dream we once shared not so long ago? I keep living like i have I know there has to be some kind of big change I just pray I find what it is I need to do before it's to late.