eye_of_tiger,
Thank you very much for your reading and advice.
I totally agree and feel that I need to have faith that life is unfolding exactly as it should at the moment (as hard as it is to remember sometimes

) and that everything happened and continues to happen for a reason. I guess its the 'reason' that I keep searching for and I find myself thinking back that I have made a lot of mistakes or missed many opportunities, due to my own choices

.... which has also brought me to where I am today as oppose to remembering to accept it as it is (my past) and continue to focus on the present moment which is truly what I have control of (some what ).
Thanks again for your feedback and insight !!!