Hi Readers,

This is my first request for a reading. I have been on the site since its inception... i read the board on and off... i dont know what more to say.

1)
I suffer from bipolar depression and have just walked out of the hospital (i was admitted by force - thats how bad it had become) about 5 weeks back... i have been getting stronger everyday but i still have no confidence and am unable to work due to lack of concentration.  this is recurring thing and doctors admit that nothing will stop my slipping back into depression. medicine can only incarse the time intervals between these relapses. will i ever become myself again?

2)
my finance are going from bad to worse everyday... its like begging someone everyday for more money... everyday. and i have had it with asking for help. despite know how bad and ugly the situation is i am unable to take any action due to my health. i wish i could blame everything on health but it is not as simple becuase then i would be escaping from reality (which i have to admit i am)

will my health and finances improve if yes when?

Thanks for you prompt reply in advance.

Regards,
Abhishek

Hi  Abhishek,

Please allow me to focus on your first question. I will focus on the second one later tomorrow as I have company over and I actually type slowly. I don't know anything about your condition, but will just convey what I get. My first impressions are of a raging waterfall, very noisy and hard to hear. I get another impression of a tranquil, peaceful lake right after. Actually, they are just alternating-  one then turns into the other. I sense this is you, the light-dark, ying-yang or negative-postive energy of your personality. Of course, we are all composed of these two opposite energies. The trick is to keep them in balance. When our negative energy becomes predominant, life becomes very hard indeed. When I ask myself what can help, I get the image of you meditating on the peaceful serene lake.
With whatever meditation technique works for you, allow yourself to get to the state where you are in touch with your higher self, divine spark or whatever you feel comfortable calling it.This part of you is very powerful and will work wonders. I sense you know what I mean. Once you are there, visualize a peaceful, serene lake with soothing nature sounds and beautiful sunshine. Understand you are also the lake and for this short meditation, allow yourself to experience the peaceful, happy and loving feeling of this part of you. Tell yourself this part of your personality, which has sometimes remained dormant, will now shine through strong. I trust this and your faith/belief that you will get well, will eventually help to make it so.
Of couse you know to continue taking prescribed medications and keeping doctor's appointment. I am a also a Reikimaster and will, with your permission of course, be happy to send you healing enegy.

Note: I posted a reply a few days ago to someone who was asking how one gets out of a depression or low emotions. I realize your situation is probably very different with chemical/medical issues I don't understand as I am not in the medical field- but this might help a little. These are just my intuitive thoughts.



"You can't get from severe depression to let's say total happiness in an instant. So what you do is start changing your thoughts so you would go from severe depression to depression. Then start thinking along a different line to get you to sadness. Then sadness to another level up- maybe mild sadness. You do this systematically and using tools like gratitude to get to the next/ more postive emotion.
For instance, someone becomes severely depressed because they are out of work, haven't been able to find a good job. Well that person can look around and be grateful at least she's not homeless and is now just depressed. Next, she starts thinking she has had a good job in the past and if she can do it once she can do it again - gets to being only sad. Next she gets herself off the floor and thinks of another way to look for work. Now she's only mildly sad and knows there is more than hope. Then she gets tired of thinking of her job situation and starts thinking that she also has positives in her life that she has not been thinking about (relationship or a future relationship, friends,  family etc )  Now she might start getting to feeling more content or even somewhat happy. This process might take hours or days, but if you change your thoughts you change your emotions".



Love and Light

Joe

Hi Joe,

firstly, i would welcome any reiki healing that comes my way... thou i must admit i know very little of reiki.

as for meditation... i dont know why but i always believed in meditation but have never seriously practiced it. i guess, its better late than never. i will start with meditation right away... i mean now right here at my work station.

Thanks... will wait to hear more from you.

Regards,
Abhishek

Abhishek,

I just sent you a PM with a specific name and info regarding meditation.
Let's start on your financial situation.
First image I get is of you in a large open market with many vedors. I see you paying for goods, paying for services, always paying. When you try to sell something to generate money I see confusion.You are about to sell, but always something happens to stop you. By this image, I feel both your health and finances are strongly connected. You have had good ideas to generate money but your inner emotional issues sabotage them, either consciously or subconsciously. No wonder you feel overwhelmed about your finances, from what I see you have a negative cash flow issue.
Next, I am getting the word center. Find your center or center your mind, then you will be able to be financialy prosperous. I am sensing you can do this by the end of this year. I see you have the intelligence and tenacity to be successful in whatever you apply youself as you have done in the past. Take care of yourself and your financial problems will also be resolved.
Feel free to PM me anytime.

Love and Light

Joe

yes, i want to sell my flat... but confusion and other factors come as hurdle in between. i am in two minds about everything and thats causing a problem.

and yes, you can say i am unable to find my center.