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Hi Cassie -

You remind me of me at your age as I always wanted to try and make things better too.  I grew up in a dysfunctional household (as most of us do), although it was far better for me as the youngest than it was for my older siblings.  I in essence ended up married to my father - someone who is generally calm and reassuring but with a temper.  

I have learned a lot from counseling sessions.  It seems that the most troubled families (and I'm excluding ones with physical violence as I do not have any experience with those) typically have one or both parents with narcissicistic and/or borderline personality traits.  NOT the disorders - because if they had the disorders they wouldn't function very well - but some of the traits.  Look those up and see if any of them ring true for your mom.  There is a book about borderline personality disorder that does offer some insight as to how to deal with some of the traits.  

Most importantly, remember to take care of yourself.  It is easy to lose yourself in others problems, and the reality is we don't have any control over how others behave.  We can only control how we behave and react, and even that may be subject to the influence of others depending on how grounded you are.

You strike me as very mature and caring.  Those are wonderful traits and they will carry you far.  Please take care of yourself.  Sometimes, we just have to accept people the way they are and if we can't, we minimize contact to protect ourself.  

I feel that you have a very bright soul, and you will share your light with others.  Be wary of those that drain you.

I don't know if that helps at all, but I could feel your need to help and wanted to share the thoughts that popped into my head.

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Hon,

Nothing changes if nothing changes.  You are in a cycle and will continue until you step outside the circle.  Don't keep dong the same thing over and over.  

Love, Light and Laugther
mangoMom

Lol, I like the way you put it.  I've been trying to figure out how to get out of this rut...  That's the problem, lol.  I've seen the need for change.