Reading please, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 12 · Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 10:07 pm

Hello,

My name is Rachel. My birthday is July 16, 1985. Birthtime was 13:33.
I've been going through a difficult time and I would be grateful for any assistance or clarity that can be given.
My ex ended our relationship a few months ago and I havent been able to move on. I still have that gut feeling that there is more for us. I keep putting myself out there for him only to be hurt again and again. I'm starting to become hopeless and I'm developing a strong cancerian desire to retreat and run from my problems. lol
But before I go and block this man's number and email and dissappear for a good while I need to know if this is the right thing to do. Is it likely that we will be together again? If not, is there any new coming my way? Because I'm about on my last leg as far as this relationship, my school career, and my financial status goes.

Thank you in advance

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:37 am

Dear Rachel,

I can understand and empathise with you that letting go of him once and for all is a painful process, but my impressions are that he has made his final position on this fairly clear, and that your gut feelings are therefore confusing and deceiving you. With due respect your strong desire to try to get him back into your life once again is being misinterpreted as being a sign that he still has feelings for you, when you freely admit that it is your inability to accept this and to be able to move on with your love life that is the problem here. This particular relationship is well and truly over, and it is completely up to you as to whether you now wish to permanently block his email address, as I feel that the chances of him contacting you in future are effectively zero.

You are almost certainly "beating a dead horse", by hanging on to this relationship indefinitely (see the link at the very end of this reading). Although this one has failed (there is no longer any reason to doubt this), this does not necessarily mean that you are therefore a complete failure as a person (you are overgeneralising and catastrophising). Bad things will always continue to happen to good people including yourself, and if every person on this Earth who has experienced at least one failed relationship is therefore destined to fail in every other area of her life as well, then we have no future as a species.

Continuing to accept the total responsibility for things not working out between you is only destroying what little self confidence you still appear to possess, which is then making it far more difficult for you to cope with your financial problems and in choosing a suitable career. I would be pleased to offer you a reading concerning either of these at a later time, as I feel that there is every reason for you to feel hopeful that these situations will improve over time, once you can again focus your energies back upon the challenges in front of you.

While you constantly punish yourself for your perceived failures with this one relationship, your energies are being scattered and thereby made far less effective in sorting out your career and financial issues. You are currently suffering the terribly exhausting effects of a large emotional energy leak which you are using to keep this relationship alive when in reality it is over.

He was the one who decided to end the relationship those few months ago, and all this worrying and making for yourself mountains out of molehills is not I feel going to suddenly make him change his mind, and prompt him to get back in contact with you now. I am not going to be drawn into judging which of you was the more responsible, as this will not help you in any way now, and I feel that to do so will only likely drag you down faster.

I am genuinely sorry that I cannot give you the answer you were probably most hoping to hear, but permanently blocking his email address might be seen as a signal (or ritual) to your subconscious mind that you are once again prepared to give life another try. Failure is not when you fall off your horse. It is only failure when you are unwilling to get back on, as soon as is humanly possible. But allow yourself adequate time to heal as well. Sometimes our greatest personal victories can come out what we had once thought were our most glaring failures.

God Bless,

eye_of_tiger

http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/beating+a+dead+horse.html

Posts: 12 · Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:09 am

Thank you for the prompt reply and for the graphic that made me laugh hysterically. =)
I know what you say is true, I just wish there was an on/off switch or "easy" button I could use to get on with things. sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm full of despair. Either way I can't go a day without thinking about him (something I hate).
The man in question hasn't exactly made this easy. I did previously have him blocked for almost two months. About three weeks ago he started calling nonstop and leaving voicemails (I had his number on auto reject so his calls went straight to v.m.). I stupidly decided to return his calls and even went to spend a weekend with him and his family at their country house. I unblocked him after this and of course he lost all interest in me again. I completely take all responsibility for my heart hurting this time around but I am annoyed and dissapointed in him that he would put not only me, but his family through this again.
I think it's best that I block him again and hopefully this time I'll actually have the strength to make it last. It's a shame though. Not only do I still have really strong feelings for him, I'm also really attached to his family and vice versa. Too bad he doesn't have a brother! =/

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:25 am

Quote:

I just wish there was an on/off switch or "easy" button I could use to get on with things. sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm full of despair.

If you do happen to find your own on switch and easy button, could you please let me know, as mine is often just as difficult to locate?

But seriously, I dhave discovered by trial and error that when I am feeling particularly down that actively doing ANYTHING, even if it seems relatively insignificant to someone else, often gets me moving again. It can be something as simple as getting out of bed to make a cup of tea or coffee, but having a good reason to get up and to put your feet upon the floor is frequently just what the doctor ordered. If my wife and I had not had our two children to get to school each day (they are now 25 and 21 years old respectively), I seriously doubt that I would still be here now to write this.

If you are living alone and the landlord and/or your financial circumstances allow it, think about getting a pet. Being responsible for and taking care of another living thing is a powerful on switch. Some people get the same level of satisfaction from having a small garden.

I recognise that these suggestions are not directly addressing your immediate problems with the man you have mentioned, but your life needs to keep on going regardless, and some people find some of these suggestions helpful in overcoming their feelings of depression and despair while waiting.

Hoping that these suggestions might help you as much as they did your's truly, when I myself went through a major stress breakdown and suicidal thoughts many years ago. Thank God for the people on this site, as we no longer have any animals, and the children have grown up. The people who I try to help over the internet have effectively become an important reason for me to flip on my on switch every morning? Helping other people with their own problems (although they may not be the same as your's) can give you a real emotional buzz!!!

eye_of_tiger