God bless you MangoMom, . You help me have a kind of release. Now I understand why I am so difficult to live with. Even I don't want to live with me . My mood swings and quick temper says it all and you are right now I am extra nice to my employees like I feel I owe them something and they walk all over me. The person who receive the brunt of this is my hubby. maybe things turn out as it did because of many accumalated distrust and hurt.
Yes you are right the mental torture is one self having no control over the mind and thoughts.
May I know, by the way MangoMom. who are my guides and their names? I still remembered when I was young I had an invisible friend but that disappeared when I grew up. Maybe she never disappeared but just was pushed to a corner.
What prayers can I say to receive God and his helpers guidance?

MangoMom, thank you, thank you very much. I will ponder over what you say and open my heart to God.

Best wishes,
roz

Hi Roz,  Thank you for your response, again, I concerned that I was too blunt in my reading, but, I have to put it down like I receive it and let you interpret or understand the meaning.  I am so glad I did give you the information as I received it.  

Yes, there is a prayer you can say for forgiveness:

If there is anyone or anything that has hurt me
in the past, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive and
release it.  If I have hurt anyone or anything
in the past, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive and release it,
for the highest good of all concerned.  

You say this prayer every night for 9 nights, and after that whenever you need to forgive yourself or others.  Turn it over to God, he is up all night anyway.  

Without going back into your records, you can meditate, imagine your special area, set your area any way you wish, lounge chair, walls, open air, any way you want, imagine an empty seat beside you, and an open door to the north.  In will walk one of your guides, introduce yourself, and your guide will allow you to name him/her.  Or listen to the chimes and you will hear their name.  You can tell this guide anything you wish, and this guide will bring forth any guide you need, i.e., for writing, prayer, working with people, anything you need guidance or assistance with.  

Thank you again for your response.  Again, I will keep you in my prayers and you know you are watched over.

Love, Light and Laugther
MangoMom

After contemplating on your reading and really envisage the cross roads. I chose the slower road and work out my thoughts.
Happiness and sadness, anger and patience all can be control by oneself by being mindful and aware of one's action, speech and thought. Happiness is not what somebody can give us, but what we can give to ourselves. My sixth sense is getting stronger, and I do not let things that will bug me alot last time get me down.
I really can't thank you enough.

You are in my prayers.

Love and light,
Roz