just looking for some clarity, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4 · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 1:49 am

hi,
im new here and i was wondering if there was anyone that could read for me. I dont have a specific question my problem is my mental and emotional state being a bit chaotic. I feel a bit depressed about work and my love life so i think those are the two things dfragging me down. The weird thing is my work i dont know why its depressing me and why the people there are depressing me even though im sure thats not the intent. I feel very lonely right dispite being around people. aI just dont feel there is anyone ui can share my pain with and so i hold it in and i thinks making me oversensitive to people around me. alot of my pain is from the past that i still hold on to.As i said im not sure what my question is i am just looking for some peace and clarity. im not so sure what is upsetting me or bringing me down. any insights would be appreciated.

luv,
gypsy

Posts: 4 · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 1:54 am

sorry didnt mean to be rude i just read the post that i should have read before i posted this...ill go introduce myself....

Posts: 389 · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:16 pm

Lol, we all get really excited when we first get here. It's easy to forget and think, "Oh wait, sticky posts! Haha!" :hugs: There have been some greedy people out there, but you have a good attitude

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:54 am

Welcome Gypsy,

Feeling depressed or overly anxious while at the same time having absolutely no idea as to why you should be feeling that way, is very like trying to defend yourself against someone who is invisible? Having personally battled with depression all my adult life and having always felt different in some unexplained way from the people who were around me (including members of my own family), I both feel and share in your pain. The forum rules are only advisory, it is left entirely up to the readers and their own inner guidance as to whether or not the member is in urgent need of assistance. So I do not in any way regard your request as either being rude or premature.

You have made I feel a very accurate judgement as to the effects of the negative emotional baggage that you are carrying with you from your past, but your reading gives me a great deal of confidence that you will eventually overcome many of the feelings of needless guilt and low self confidence which have been your constant companions up until now.

I know that this is going to be especially difficult for you to believe this (you might think I am crazy myself, for even suggesting this), but whatever you have or have not done was put there with the intention of preparing you to be able to much more effectively help other people who will come to you later for help, who through no fault of their own now find themselves in a similar situation to your's.

Your suffering will not therefore be in vain, as it has a higher purpose in the general scheme of things in being a source of inspiration and guidance for others still to come. Without what you have been through you would never have developed the empathy to be able to help these other people, and some of the inner strength you have developed to get you this far can be then passed on in turn to them.

My impressions are that your feelings of depression are largely of a spiritual nature, although this does not mean that you should not also get any help you feel you need by consulting a suitably qualified doctor and/or counsellor to assist you to get through the worst patches. If you are anything like me, some days will be worse than others, so do not fall into the common trap of focussing entirely on these, and ignoring those days when things have gone reasonably well for you. Make a list of these better days (or take photos of happy events) so that you can refer to them on those days when you just cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel.

People who feel depressed frequently tend to unintentionally make things even worse by withdrawing into themselves and so effectively isolating themselves from life and the very people who most wish to help them, so if you are wanting to meditate upon your life purposes, I would suggest that you should look instead at the more active forms of meditation where you can focus instead on being in the present moment with your friends and other family members to support you. If you are away from your family and friends, try to find some other group of people where you can get similar encouragement and moral support, as only some who has been him or herself severely or even moderately depressed understands what a personal hell it feels like.

Continuing to beat up on yourself for your perceived past failings will not get you anywhere that you would wish to be in, but that does not stop our minds from constantly rehashing old memories over and over again like some broken record. You do I feel need to get more in contact with your spiritual Self, but not by meditating on your backside in isolation from everyone else who loves and cares for you, and not for hours every day. You may find a dancing meditation technique much more effective, or merely making an effort to not allow your negative inner thoughts to get the better of you.

By turning your focus outwards, you will rob them of the energy they need to keep going and many will fade way given adequate time, without any further action on your part. At the same time you need I believe to fill the gap they have left with positive and life affirming statements made to your subconscious mind (positive spiritual affirmations). At first it will all seem rather artificial and contrived to say such things to yourself when you are feeling so down, but it is not your conscious mind to which you are directing these auto-suggestions.

My feelings are that this will help to eventually turn your thoughts in a much more positive direction, and in so doing you will be much wiser about what I see is a major part of your purpose for being here on Earth during these troubled times for so many. Out of all your suffering will come the strength and wisdom that will not only turn your own life around in a positive manner, but in the lives of many others like yourself as well. You are never fully alone with these feelings, as there are many friends and helpers both seen and unseen to strengthen and support you through even the darkest hours of your "night of the soul".

Love, Light and Peace to you and your loved ones,

eye_of_tiger

Posts: 389 · Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:21 am

You know, that pretty much sums up most of my life, lol. Growing up I've always been very different, but never understood why. I used to be so open and outgoing as a child, but all it took was one person telling me to shut up, and I did. Ever since I had always felt like the outcast, the weird girl who no one ever understood or even wanted to be around. I've went through several bouts of depression, but God always sent someone my way to brighten up my life. It took awhile before I'd realise I wasn't "looking up," and when I did, God was ready and willing to pick me up, dust me off, and help me see life in a new light. I've realised that I went through these dark times to help others when they were going through the exact same thing. Some accepted my views and advice, some shunned me. Though, thankfully most of them listened.

But, honestly, I still kick myself for many of my wrongs. Some may view them as not so bad and not even my fault, though I hate the weak state I was in that allowed me to just give in to very wrong things. Though, we all have those times, and I realise more everyday that I shouldn't kick myself. God forgave me, and I should too. The wrongs I've made naturally flood back when I have those same moments when I just feel randomly down, dragging, and just outright sad, and I'll get so depressed to where I just want to spend all day sleeping, being lazy, and in a pity party all by myself. I know that same lonely feeling all too well. I kept feeling like I wasn't good enough to meet a guy who would actually be interested in me. I didn't think it was possible for me to find a truly wonderful guy who could love me. Honestly, it can make a person nearly suicidal just from the feeling of worthlessness.

If people can feel that you're depressed, they may feel slightly awkward around you. It isn't because they think you're weird; usually they just don't want to upset you, are worried, and are genuinely curious. I personally think you're very worried about what people at work think of you, which for me is natural when I'm depressed. Even as hard as it is to do, letting go of the pain is essential to your well being. I can relate to the fact that while you may not want to be around people during this feeling, it does make you feel better little by little.

I feel like I've been rambling. I really enjoy EOT's post, as I enjoy most of them.