Feel so alone and purposeless, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 7 · Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:41 am

Greetings

Would like to introduce myself as Vivek from India Dob: 27-01-78.

A brief background:

Have been through a 7 year treacherous period where a lot of things seemed beyond my control. To start off I went overseas to pursue my higher educaton but it all went wrong mostly because of my relations with a girl. During the same, I lost my grand dad who was more dear to me than even my parents and I finally returned home without completing my post grad course. From, there there was a one and half year perion where I wandered aimlessly and developed un desirable habits. Even today I shudder to think of the impact all this had on my parents but luckily for me the force stepped I and my family tried to get me back on track. I was sent off to another city to sober own which I did. But during this hibernation period I lost touch with friends, felt so isolated and became so detatched . Nevertheless it all proved good for me in a lot of other ways and I picked up a job which I am still in . I returned to my native a year and half back and thought I would my energy levels back and storm ahead. Here again a lot of family issues started to have a crushing influence on me and killed all my will and determination. But, things have started to improve since april when I decided to stay on my own and rid myself of all the mental strains of family problem. Now to my questions:

1> First of all its about my granddad, I feel so so so bad of how I disappointed him that I just don’t want to think about it. Anyway, for the past 2 years ii have thought of him as my guardian angel and true to it he has helped me make the right decisions. So just want to say sorry to him for all I have done and if possible want to know if there is anything he wants me to know.

2> This is in regard to the direction of my life, career, marriage and all that. Here I would like to say that these days I listen to my instincts more and do things accordingly and rarely have they left me down. Job wise I am pretty content with the job except for the remuneration but I feel the beginning of next year is when I should change jobs (I am into writing by the way). More important that that I feel so alone and detatched .Am looking for a real deep connection and it just doesn’t seem to happen. My family wants to fix my marriage but I some how feel marriage is not for me right now. Let me not drag on. I just want to know if at all I am likely to find that somebody any time soon and also about my job when I should change jobs.

Basically where am I heading ? feel so purposeless

Would really appreciate some help and insights

Peace to all

Posts: 85 · Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:31 am

I am sorry to hear that you've had a roller coaster 7 years. Sometime your failures and mistakes make you a better person and i feel that it should be nothing that you should be ashamed about. Of course its sad that you feel that you have dissapointed your grandfather - but remember, its worse if you live your life under the expectations of others, even your parents. They'll come a time when you'll stop and ask - what about what I want? In order to grow as a person you have to make your own mistakes, big or small, it will make you a better person, boyfriend, husband and father, and your grandftaher will most definitely be proud of that.

Posts: 4135 · Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:09 am

Welcome Vivek,

I strongly empathise with you in hearing that life has not treated you kindly especially over the last seven years or so. While I agree that you appear to have made some unwise decisions and like all human beings (who are not saints) you have made mistakes, I really cannot see continuing to punish yourself is ever going to achieve anything, other than perhaps to destroy any of your remaining self confidence.

We are encouraged in different words in various religious traditions to love God, but first to love ourselves. This has absolutely nothing to do with you being arrogant, vain or filled with a sense of false self pride. I believe that LOVE is to be read as VALUE AND RESPECT. With due respect therefore I know of no evidence that beating up on yourself will ever make things any easier or help to improve things.

Not only are you constantly punishing or berating yourself for many things which were beyond your control when they happened, but if that was not bad enough you now appear to be holding on to the mistaken belief that your late granddad (who you believe quite rightly was one of your soul mates) would be disappointed with what you have been able to achieve under sometimes very adverse circumstances. I do not know whether or not you are aware of your grandfather's spiritual presence often with you, but if you are having these thoughts that he is in any way disappointed with his grandson, they are certainly not coming from him. In direct contrast to what you seem to think, your granddad is I feel justifiably proud of you in being able to turn your life around in such a brave manner.

The important point here is that you did not take your own life or give in (although it might have seemed much easier at the time to do this), and you are as a result of persevering a much better and stronger person precisely because you went through these difficult times. It is as if your soul has been tested and purified by walking through the flames of your earlier life.

I am being told to pass on to you that much of life is about trial and error (mostly error) and if you are unwilling to make errors and mistakes you are then very unlikely to achieve anything of any great significance to you in your life. I sense that your grandfather is trying to draw even closer to you at present (including in your dreams), so please do not feel that you need the services of a medium to be able to speak to him during quiet times of prayer and meditation.

He only requests that since he is not in any shape or form disappointed with you (actually he is anything but being disappointed in you) there is just no point in apologising for something which never existed. However your granddad would greatly appreciate your positive thoughts and prayers and if it does make you feel better to say sorry to him, he is certainly not going to stop you. He only wants you to have the very best that life can offer, and for his grandson to live a full and reasonably happy life. He continues to love, care for and watch over you, as any proud grandparent would. He IS your guardian angel!!!!!

And now onwards to the second part of your reading request:

Quote:

I just want to know if at all I am likely to find that somebody any time soon and also about my job when I should change jobs.

It is not so much whether or not you will meet that special lady soon, but has much more to do I feel with meeting someone who satisfies your parent's beliefs and traditions. I know that they already have someone in mind for you to marry, and so many times in other readings I have given for people in a similar situation to your own I have felt that, while there would be a real hope for these people finding love and happiness with someone else, in the end their family traditions about arranged marriages have been permitted to come between two people who genuinely love each other, in order to satisfy family beliefs.

While I do continue respect their traditions and the fact that you are their son and not mine, it is difficult to give a positive outcome as a result of my reading when my instincts tell me that they truly love someone other than the person their parents have selected on their behalf. I only wish I could feel more positive for the future about you finding a good woman for yourself who will not only love you for being the stronger (inner strength) person whom you now are, but who will also satisfy your parent's very high standards at the same time. To be honest, until you no longer live under your parent's roof I feel that your chances of doing this are rather slim, and even after that I feel that Indian tradition will continue to play a major factor with regard to whom you are permitted to marry.

Finally with reference to you changing jobs as a writer, while there is always the potential to do so, it really depends a lot on your reasons for wanting to make a move at all. Whether it is because you need to make more money, you are not getting on well with your fellow workers, or as I sense you are wanting to become more independent as either a freelance or self employed writer (fiction or non fiction?), I really cannot say for certain, and I do get a strong sense with you that you believe that the other man's pasture must always be greener than your own. While I would not like to be seen as wanting to hold you back from following your most cherished dreams as a writer, I am not myself convinced that changing jobs at the moment is going to necessarily make you a much happier person overnight.

My advice would be therefore to make whatever changes you can in your current job in order to to maintain your own level of interest and motivation, but at the same time look around and apply for any other positions which appear suitable for a person of your specific qualifications and skills. In other words, cover all your options to the very best of your abilities, but do not give your current employer any excuse to fire you, as you could potentially be blacklisted and thereby prevented from working at the type of job you obviously love doing.

Love, Light and Peace to you and your family from mine,

eye_of_tiger

Posts: 7 · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:18 am

eye_of_the_tiger, first of all i would like to send out a heart felt thanks to you

I suppose i need a littl time to contmplate on the reading. From a first read here is what i feel

1> In regard to my granddad its really reassuring to reconfirm my belief that he is my guardian angel. Always got a feeling and he does appear in my dreams now and then but most timeseither dont remember what he says ar cant quiet decipher it

2> In respec to my marriage i suppose u are right in respect to the family preassure. Then again, i dont quiet see myself going in for an arranged marriage and at the moment am quiet firm on not wanting to get married at all. More than anything, i am just hoping to find that true love again or just enjoy the feeling of being in love again

3? Wit regard to my job, i am infact a writer at present (Marketing communications mostly).Been in this job for 2 and a half years. Workwise i am pretty satisfied with things now espescially the flexibility and free time i get. I was thinking more on the lines of getting stuck with the same kind of writing and so wanting to explore my strong innate potential. Money is also a factor to some extent since i have started to live on my own and have willfully distanced myself from my family assets. Overall, its just a matter of changing workplaces which i feel i may want to do around feb or March next year. So just wanted to know if it would be a wise thing to do. Anyways, i suppose theres quiet some time to go until next year so i will just sit on it for the moment

Thans so much again for your insights Will get back to you in a while

Peace to all

Posts: 7 · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:22 am

adrianna wrote:

I am sorry to hear that you've had a roller coaster 7 years. Sometime your failures and mistakes make you a better person and i feel that it should be nothing that you should be ashamed about. Of course its sad that you feel that you have dissapointed your grandfather - but remember, its worse if you live your life under the expectations of others, even your parents. They'll come a time when you'll stop and ask - what about what I want? In order to grow as a person you have to make your own mistakes, big or small, it will make you a better person, boyfriend, husband and father, and your grandftaher will most definitely be proud of that.

Adrianna thanks for those words really appreciate it