Dear Eye of the Tiger, thank you so much for the reading - I don't know how I came to miss it before, sorry for the confusion.

Anyway after reading it a couple of times to digest what you've written (this goes on a very deep level I realise), here is my feedback:
I was amazed at what you said about you seeing me sitting up in bed in the early hours. It's very often during the night that I feel the desperation so much and some nights I just don't sleep at all. Yes, I do tend to keep looking back on situations and analysing and telling myself how I should've acted (or reacted) and how to deal with a similar situation in the future. You're absolutely right, this self-critiscm doesn't help at all and just creates more stress - thanks for drawing my attention to this and your good advice!
I do find it difficult making decisions lately and especially the housing situation; even after I decided I wanted to move I had a short spell when I thought I could stay there (I say "there" because I'm not at home at the moment, I'm out of the country) and move forward, but it didn't last for long and swung right round the other way when I thought I would live anywhere to get away from that house (and it isn't all that awful believe me); in my desperation I almost took on something that probably wouldn't have been suitable at all.

As regards my desire to move house, I had set myself a few options though the truth is I don't see any of them as an ideal solution for my current circumstances (if this part of the reading is in reference to that then you've hit the nail on the head there). I'm therefore taking action in the direction of what seems may be the best choice in the hope it turns out ok. Someone said to me I don't need to look for an "end-station", that's true I suppose.
Yes, my self-confidence has taken a dip of late. The "old me" would take charge of things, but of late I feel very vulnerable and sometimes feel like I'm losing control over my life. Whilst I'm very independant and don't easily ask for help I sometimes wish someone would wave a magic wand over me. I know this isn't going to happen and I am working on making the changes I feel necessary but I feel like I'm up against a brick wall sometimes. My problem is that very often I try too hard, that's always been so, I am hard on myself and expect too much of myself sometimes.
As for spiritual beliefs, I have been questioning myself a lot lately and wondering if I've not been fooling myself regarding some issues, which is causing me some considerable confusion.  

Dear Eye of the Tiger, you've given me a lot of insight. I thank you with all my heart for the time and effort you've put into this reading. Thanks also for the advice, I hope (in the not too distant future) to be able to give you a positive update.
Like I said, I'm away from home at the moment, I flew from the Netherlands to the UK yesterday for a wedding and I'm staying with family for 10 days, so maybe the break will help me somewhat.

Hoping you're in better health,
your good friend Vlinder xx