for sometime now I have not been happy in my marriage through no fault of my husbands and I have been dreaming of one ex all the time.  I somehow feel that my husband is not my soul mate.  I do not project these feelings on my husband but would like to sort this out please can you help me as this is messing with my head

In my opinion is the only one that can tell if your husband is your soul mate ... and that is yourself.

It is you who must define  what you put into the word "soul mate" and then see if your husband live up to that definition.

If I say he is your soul-mate....will then your feelings change to the better? If they do...Then I agree he is your Soul-mate.

To make fantasies about other partners is always "danger".
This because in our fantasy world we can make everything perfect....if we know the person we dream about we have a tendency to look away from his/her bad habits and concentrate about the good ones.
If we then change partners on such thoughts we might wake up worse then what we had in the first place.

When you was first in love with your husband...I am sure you had many great thought about you two also...the more you live together with a person...the more you learn to know about them ....the more common and "dull" he/she will be.

You say you don't project these feelings on your husband....You don't need to...he will notice them anyway.
When we have thoughts about someone else and these stay in our mind...they will suppress our normal feelings....they will slowly destroy the relation you have...even if that wasn't your goal.

I think you shall evaluate your marriage as honest as possible. If you find it's something you want to stay on with....then try to stop those thoughts.
If you feel that your marriage is close to an end....then do it as fast as possible....you or him will not be any younger.

But to change...just for the change....might not always be the best way.

Good luck.

thank you for your wise words I will think on and find the right path but it is so hard.

As you are always dreaming of your ex its bound to reflect on your husband as your keeping that part of you from him,so i believe he is your soulmate and understands you more than you think,so give it a go and give him all of your love as i feel he deserves it and you should both be very. Good luck