Im a female, in love with a colleague of mine who is 10 yrs younger than me. When we fell in love , we did not know the age gap. We both belong to conservative Indian families. Fearing parental opposition he has requested that we split, though it was he who had initiated the relation and wanted to marry me. I agreed as I could see that he doesn’t hv the guts to go against his parents. However, since we work in the same office, its becoming increasingly difficult for us to pretend that all’s well and im unable to get over him. Im 39 and he is 29. Pls let me know whether there is any hope for  a reconciliation. Will we come back together and get married sometime in the future ?? I know that he too cares are lot for me and is hurting too.  What should I do on my part to make it work. Im unable to forget him, mainly due to the proximity. Pls let me know our future..

What a terribly uncomfortable situation this has placed you in, and through absolutely no fault of your own. I feel very deeply for you as without this age barrier I believe that there would have been a real future for you as a couple, although there would still be challenges ahead for the both of you. There is no denying that he has feelings for you (as you obviously have for him) but Indian family tradition prevents him from being able to act upon them. I really do not feel that it is so much a matter of him not "having the guts" to stand up to his family, but that it has much more to do with him feeling terribly guilty for having made the mistake in the first place (knowing that he would have not been allowed to have any relationship with let alone marry you, according to his family tradition).

Your reading suggests that you will eventually find a solution to this problem, but that it will involve a great degree of give and take between your family and his. It will be largely a temporary solution, but it will at least give the both of you the space you deserve to be able to get to know each other better without having to constantly put up with undue pressure from people outside of your relationship. There is also a strong feeling with your reading that you must keep your love life and work relationship completely separate, and if it is at all possible take a short trip together, or at least try to get away for a few hours at a time and learn to relax and enjoy each other's company.

I am certainly NOT suggesting that you should simply run away together and elope (that will end in disaster), but I believe that this man never wanted to break off his relationship with you, but did not at the same time know what else to do to remain on friendly terms with his parents.  I do feel that at 29 years of age (Indian traditions aside), he needs to be much more honest with his own parents about his reasons for ending your relationship, and that if he does there is still every reason to hope that they will finally come around to his way of thinking. As he is no longer financially dependent on his parents(?) preventing him for seeing you could potentially mean that they also will lose him, and they will need to decide whether it is worth losing their son merely for the sake of honouring their traditions (which I continue to respect).

There is a possible future for your relationship with him (although I feel that it is somewhat premature at this stage to be thinking about marriage) but ONLY IF he is able to honestly communicate with his parents about his true feelings for you, and ONLY IF you yourself do not try to push things along too rapidly according to your own schedule. Can you arrange to speak with him away from your work place, rather than going on believing that he does not still have feelings for you and attempting to read his mind as to why he really chose to break off your relationship?

Hoping that this reading brings you some peace of mind, and please do not give up on the possibility of getting back together with him over the coming months.

God bless you both!!!

Dear eye-of-tiger

Thank u so much for your reading. U have understood the situation so clearly, esp my thoughts.. like why he broke off, whether he did love me or was it only a physical attraction from his end.. Sometimes, I wondered whether the age gap bothered him… like did he wonder what will happen after the initial heady feeling of love disappears…. when he will see his peers attached to younger girls… would he feel he did a mistake by getting hooked on to some1 older… I wondered whether this was his real reason for breaking off, apart from the reason of going against social norms…  
Yes, he is financially independent, in fact he is doing very well, but he is very lavish in his expenditure..  But, yes, I had been pushing him to take a decision and that had angered him and during one of our fights he told me that he cannot hurt his parents and marry me and that they would never agree to this relation. This happened 10 days back.. and was really hurt with his words… my ego is stopping me fm going back to him.. I was hoping that he would be regretting his words  and would come back to me .but, I know he will not, and I will eventually hv to  make the first move… May be, I will wait for sometime and then try and talk to him…thanks once again.

Dear pjyoti,  

You are always most welcome and please accept my sincere thanks for your excellent feedback, as it assists me to constantly make the effort to improve the quality of my readings.

I really do hope that things will eventually work out well for the both of you, but if they do not (and we cannot entirely rule out this possibility although we should remain as positive as we can) it will not be through any of your own doing, or your fault.

Sometimes even the best of intentions and all your love is simply not enough?  

Dear eye-of-tiger

As advised by you I decided to make effort and get in touch with my ex during the weekend. I smsd him on Saturday and Sunday, that im missing him etc… but I didn’t receive any reply. Finally y/day at night, I phoned him. Well, he told me he was watching a movie  at the theatre with his friends !! I got upset and disconnected. Smsd him ‘After breaking my heart u are hv great fun n enjoying yourself… hope u hv clearly told yr current girl that u r only looking for fun and nothing els. Hv fun”…  Ofcourse he didn’t reply.  Im ashamed of myself for sending such an sms. I know I hv made things worse. Im feeling terribly depressed now and cant face him at all. Im sure he will not come back to me at all now.  Im in a mess now….

Regards