Info At Bottom Of Post including names and dob

We've never really talked, but please, if you are giving a reading, so that it helps you the most and you understand why I'm asking this, then please read the story. You'll come to know that I've refused everyone and been with no one because of my beliefs in true love, naive I guess, but heh. And then my belief that we are all a master of ourself and no other makes it, well, just read the story :p
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
heh, I guess I just never give up with what I hope for. A dream is only dead when you give up, but

How about a quick short story, from all views I guess ; )

I've always been the bright cheery sort, bumbling with energy and happy, giving light to everyone. There was a time period where I was more darker, heh, back when I used some of my abilities simply as a game... I guess it's just boring where I live, everything's dull, I have to be doing 1000 different things or I am just going to... I'm a Gemini, but oh well. When I began my spiritual path, that was fun. Only did it some nights, when I was in the mood. It started when I was 14, lol, limitless energy that I just used to have duels with people in our own arenas, to share music with people by thought.. to summon rainstorms for the heck of it, sing out in different languages like a renegade, just ignore all the rules, do w/e I want, lol, mess with who I want, go where I want, that's how it was, heh. After only a couple of months, I was a darker person. At one point, I saw more things there than I Could see here. One Easter, I didn't even see the church, instead I saw something I'll never forget because of how horrifying it was. Oh well, that's not me now. About mid-summer of 2006, I began trying really hard to be who I was and who I really am, the person people knew me as online, and not in real life, and so after a couple of months, I succeeded in happiness...

Oh well, the question doesn't regard any of that, lol, that's just some background information. Your regular gemini I guess, complicated, a jack of all trades, extremely good in everything I do, but not the master of masters, lol. The best I've ever made it to in anything I did was #2, but I made it to #2 in every area I went into. Still makes me happy ^_^, because then I get to talk to everyone and be everybody's friend, or try to be :p.

Again, side-tracked, I guess I'm just I dunno.

I guess I'm not too typical in the fact that I believe in true love and wait for it, even if someone's beautiful, or good-hearted, or just anything, I still stay to myself because I say to myself over and over again, time and time again, that I will know when it happens.

And now for my story I guess... i've gotten advice on it, but nothing very substantial, and it has become complicated to a great degree... lol, i don't expect anything anymore, but oh well. So in Freshman year was when I saw her, heh, never spoke, didn't know her name. Sophomore year I found out her name one day, but oh well, it takes a lot for me... I guess it's almost like a light switch, a major decision based on fact and feeling, but about 1/5 way through the year, I decided I liked her, and at one point that I was in love with her, though I never said it or even wrote it down at that point. Remember, at this time I was a very quiet person, a bit darker, though I didn't act it when I was with my friends or online or anything, I only acted it out when I was with people I didn't know that I'd be with for a long time. I kept to myself and was a mystery to pretty much everybody. I had no real friends and hadn't had a real friend since before I had begun my "spiritual game." So during Summer, I tried to get over it being a very logical and science bearing person, someone who was even attempting to define God, which I do not do and have not done since Junior year. I simply Love God : ). God can't be defined. God is and will always be :D. but, when I saw her Junior year, lol. I guess so much for trying my first plans. Granted, this is mid-senior year and I had become my old good-bearing self of light by the end of summer : ). Oh well, back in Junior year about the mid of the year is where I started hearing these voices saying, get it over with. The Tarot had been saying it wouldn't work out, my abilities said it wouldn't work out, everything said this was wrong and no, even other readers said it was wrong. Following my emotion and my heart, I kept with it and still do. The first time, it told me where she would be at an exact time and place. Around this time, I had taken up the art of reading the future and had fun with it, telling people when things would start down to the second. I've only used it once since summer, and that was when I needed to go do things and only had until something started to get it all done. It was a family outing, and so I needed to be there when it started. I ignored it, but she was there at that time and so on, and the next day I was told where she would be and at what time and so on. This happened for about a week. One day when I was driving home, I was literally smothered with voices yelling at me to get it over with or else, lol. It actually put me into tears for the rest of the day because of how intense it was, but I was given another time and how long I had and so on. I didn't do it at that time, but after my zero period 6:45-7:45 am class was done, I asked her out to BB King. I waited a week, she couldn't do it. For all of my Junior year, the only class I attended at the High School was that early morning Jazz Band Class. I was going to a College for the rest of my classes, so I had about 3 minutes a day, and so after another week trying to figure out something to do I ended up writing a letter just describing who I was (atleast who I thought I was and how I acted around my friends and online : ), but not as I appeared at the time). I talked about a great deal of things, put in some lame jokes, and just so on. I must have read it a few hundred times that night, and that night I dreamt my first of three dreams about all of this. Two scenarios, one said acceptance and the other was like stay away. After class, I handed it to her and ran out the door to get to my first class at the college (it was a 25 minute drive). I tried talking to her then, waited at the front doors, but I'd see her and just leave. Happened for a couple of weeks, heh, and then a friend, a High School Graduate, was going to watch the Band one Friday. On Friday, I had 2 evening classes, so I decided to stick around and maybe talk that day :p. Well, we went in and as we passed by, she literally bolted. I was just walking with him and talking with him. She just gave me a look of stay away and I felt miserable. Over the next summer, I tried to get over her and tried to become myself, and so Senior year came and I was my good self again : ). I actually jump up and down, dance, and sing during Jazz Band, and just have a whole mess of fun.

So, I just kept with friendship and family, I had quit all of the spiritual things I used to do :p. I mean, after I had asked her out the year before, she would look back to me and turn away and so on. After I gave her the letter, she would look to me more often, and turn back, and so on. Atleast that's how I look at it now. Before I was just fearful. I always felt like she hated me, not now I suppose, but oh well, well I mean ><

But beginning of Senior year started and there was so much absolute tension, we wouldn't look at each other, wouldn't even speak when near each other, would hurry to get away, lol. I don't know, she's just the only person who's ever really meant anything to me. So after a time, she was just looking left and right and so on, and I'd just be having fun at Jazz Band. Then at one point she looked for long periods of time and I don't know really what any of this means, but I still was just having fun : ), I guess I always do. During my other classes (I returned to High School), I was trying to make it so everybody knew me very well ; ), most especially my English Class... her best friend, or one of her best friends is in that class. oi oi, I ended up attracting a lot of attention and many people like being around me now ^)^. The only one that just seems impossible is her... like it seems that there are 2 completely different worlds with no bridge in between. So at one point I was in the band area (I wander all about, but generally not there) to talk to someone I knew there, and as I was walking to him, she passed by and gave me a really weird look.... the same kind she gave to me the year before. I talked to the person, did nothing. The next week on Monday, people were getting there stands, I'm a piano player so I'm right next to the area where they walk through to get there. To get there, she went through chords and so on, the drum set, the guitar player, the bass player, and then because she couldn't drag the chair back through, she went around the entire classroom (huge classroom) to get back... i dunno

the last jazz band concert we had (we always wear black shirt, black shoes, black tie), i had decided to wear that same style to school the next morning. Everything thought it was odd, but I liked it ^_^. Oh well, that Monday morning I had also begun to get sick. That night was the concert. The next morning, she wore the same type of thing she had worn that night at the concert...

Also, at one point I knew what clothes she'd be wearing, or how she'd be feeling, or what days were important. One Monday I felt was a very important day and I didn't know why, so I dressed up that day. She was in full business clothes, I was just in a nice polo shirt and pants.

Well, that Tuesday then (this is the week before christmas), the day after the concert, I felt like I really needed to talk to her. I had been feeling this need almost since the start of the school year, but my illness had taken full scale so I didn't even have a voice to talk with. I could barely speak in a whisper. I ended up not going to the school for the rest of the week (doctor's orders ><)

I called my friend on Wedensday night when I had a voice and asked him to give her my email and told him to tell her I wanted to just apologize for everything that's happened and so on. In my heart I was hoping... but I didn't even expect any sort of response, I still don't. he told me she had the weird expression on her face by all of this, so i dunno at all... I don't know, I believe we are all masters of ourselves and that I respect anything. All I wanted to do was apologize and then say, i'll leave you alone for the rest of my life if that's what you wanted, and so on... i don't know, she's just the only person that's ever even meant anything to me, and why it took a year before I decided I loved her was not because there was anyone else up there, because there wasn't, but because I could hardly believe it...

but in my mind, i feel like she hates me or just wants me to be gone forever or something... i don't know what to do. I had thoughts of suicide on my thoughts the tuesday morning when she dodged me... i have happiness everywhere else, but that just drained everything out. I kept thinking my beliefs and stuck by them, that suicide is selfish and that I need to be here for those that care about me, those being my family.

So psychic advice, a reading, or anything. I've done it myself, but I'd rather hear it from someone else... this has been the only thing on my mind for the past 3 years...

please
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Name: Aaron Solomon
DoB:   6-1-1989

Her Name: Allison Dickman

Aaron,  I started to do your reading a couple of days ago and while in the midst of writing it to you, I stopped and decided against it.   To be honest with you, part of the reason why was because of a certain vibe I got from you at the time.  At the time I felt the vibes coarse through me, I must say it frightened me a little bit and I was taken back by the force of it.  Right now, the vibes I'm getting from you are still there but I'm going beyond it and try to answer your question for you.  

You seem to be a very outgoing type of a person, yet in some way I sense there is still a violent nature about you or surround you.  This could be either good or bad.  Good in the sense that if channeled right, you could be a tremendous impact on society for the good of all people and be quite powerful in your own right.  If channeled incorrectly and more towards the dark side, it would turn you into someone very dark and cruel type of a person.  Only you will be able to determine which direction you are headed.  You want to do good for the benefit of the greater good, yet at times things happen in your life that makes you think of the unfairness done to  you and thoughts of retaliating comes to mind to even the score.  If you want things to change in a new direction for you, then times that this does happen you have to learn to forgive and try to think upon good thoughts and not towards the darkside.  

As you are aware, even though someone may not have the ability of the gift, they can still sense certain things and cause their intuition to start kicking into gear.  That is just the natural instincts of human nature.  I think you already know the answer to your question, but seek to find something different.  Even though we do things to try to change our perceptions, we must change completely from the inside and out to really change how we think and view things.  A lot of the time without us realizing it, our true aura is shown to others.  I believe she is in fear of you.  I had to ponder on the different details you gave because it didn't make sense to me at first but now I believe it is out of fear from what she senses coming from you.  It's not anything you have done to her or anything, it's just how she processes her feelings when she is around you.  

I know you honestly want to change for the good for yourself as well as for those around you who you care about.  Work on completing the work you have started to make those changes for the good so that you are complete.  As I have mentioned earlier, if you channel the force of energy you do have in the right direction; you are something fierce to behold and can do a lot of good.  I believe you have the strength to get yourself there.  Search around for some guidance to assist you in channeling it the right way and it will not take you long to achieve which it is you are seeking.

I  hope this helps you,

Mysticangel

Thank you a lot, I'll try. I know a lot about what you're talking about : )