!!!!HELP!!!!, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 2 · Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:25 pm

hello there everyone. I was wondering if anyone could please help me? I suffer with depression and sometimes paranoia and recently i have started to have dreams in which my freind is doing things with my boyfriend behind my back. I used to argue with them both saying that they flirt constantly with each other which both of them got very upset at. They have both told me seperatly that they would never even consider it as they are close friends themselves and feel a brother/sisterly type bond and my boyfriend says he doesnt find her attractive at all.. but with these dreams i just cant stop thinking about it and everything they do it bugs me. They might not be but it seems they are fliritng to me and my friend even seems to be acting as if my boyfriend is HER boyfriend. My friend is ALWAYS over at our house everyday, i feel angered and stifled by her constant presence and am beginning to hate hearing the doorbell knowing its her. i hate leaving them alone together because i imagine that they are doing things. Please help, its getting to the point now where i cant stand to be around her and i feel so angry with her even though she hasnt done anything apart from in my dreams. I'm scared these dreams are telling me something. I know i cant openly tell them about this because its been a long standing issue and i've tried to sabotage their friendship so that i can be sure that she is not trying anything behind my back. When they found out about this they both threatend to leave me. I trust my boyfriend but i am so scared of losing him as we have an on off relationship for years but now we are back together its finally serious. I cant tell my friend to give us some alone time as she moans and says if you dont my friendship then fine i wont come over at all. I'm just so fed up. I dont know what to do. Both of them make fun of me as a joke but it hurts my feelings saying i look like an ugly person off tv or i smell, or i act in a certain way. It really hurts my feelings and doesnt help me help myself to get over the self-hatred i feel and it makes me want to self-harm again when i think i see the qualties they are joking about in me. I cant tell them that either. I have tried but they just tell me to lighten up and take a joke. Also they have told me that i am so moody lately and being around me is terrible because i dont join in or laugh at their jokes aimed at me. so for the past few days i've been taking deep breaths when i can and acting all happy, fun and jokey when i feel so torn up inside. i dont know what to do, i feel so confused and helpless.

shadow_wolf

Posts: 4470 · Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:35 pm

The ultimate lesson...we can only work on, change or otherwise affect one person...ourselves! All the moaning and groaning about perceived hurts from your friends is not the problem. The problem remains...you! If you are not comfortable with yourself...change it!

Depression and the medication given for it can be debilitating thoughts. Identify what you need by way of medication and work on getting yourself free of it, through self-evaluation, and self culture. Working on self is the only way to change your environment.

Perhaps in the end...when you are strong, you will not need these particular friendships so much? Maybe yes, maybe no. But the point is...choose all things in life from your strengths not your weaknesses.

Posts: 51 · Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:08 pm

For one thing that is not right that your supposed friend and boyfriend are making fun of you and tell you to lighten up about it, I wonder how they would feel if you said something bad about them and then told them to lighten up. If they do that they don't have respect for you and thats not good. And please don't believe what they are saying to you. You need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel alone not with the friend and then talk to her, Im sorry but a true friend would not do that to you, A real friend would bring you up not down. I agree with spiritalk about when you are strong enough you will reliaze that you don't need these kinds of friendships, do you have any other friends? If so spend time with them for awhile hang around ppl that make you feel like the group not an outcast.

Posts: 1935 · Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 6:55 pm

i suffer from bipolar depression myself. and the talk about feeling everyone is out to get you, self-harm and stuff sounds very fimilar to me... i am almost always on the verge of tipping over... i just dont know what and how it will be triggered or worse when...

infact here are two very recent threads that i started on this very board which will show you the seriousness of my problem...

http://www.mysticboard.com/general_discussion/17962-thank_you_swetha.html
and then this one where let off a lot of steam ...
http://www.mysticboard.com/general_discussion/17316-i_wish.html and disappeared and only came back after days and here is what i had to say ... http://www.mysticboard.com/general_discussion/17316-i_wish-10.html

and you will find many threads about me my problems and i'll tell you this (and i may sound hard) BUT there is no way to deal with it. medication help but only to certain degree. the only way you can successfully deal with your problem ... is to learn to live and let live.

And i'll also tell you this ... no matter what you do .. or no matter what i do and how we see things and how we feel... will NEVER be fully understood by anyone - not until they come over and sit in our chair and wear our shoe (and i pray hard that noone ever has too).

What the both of us or anyone with depression feels is a very unique thing all by itself. fight it with all you got and decide you wanna come out the winner ... it is the only thing that will "really" help at the end of day.

Regards,
Abhishek

Posts: 2 · Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:28 pm

thank you for your replies. thank you for letting me take off a bit of the steam thats been bubbling up inside me. I conflict between anger and guilt that i feel so angry with her. she has been a good strong caring friend to me in the past but so much is going on inside my head i just dont trust her. today she tried to force me to go to the cinema to see a film i didnt want to see with her (and of course take my boyfriend too) or she said i would ask you to come shopping with me but you wont come so she said to my boyfriend would you like to come with me....but she wont talk to you if you do.
so aggitating. It really does seem to me that she wants him for herself....i dont know it's that sort of impression and last night she was messiing around flashing her b**bs at him....... i think i do need to talk to her, but im scared too cause latley everything i say she'll relate it back to my b/f when im not in the room and twist it to make me look bad. i've heard her doing that.
Anyway. i wanted to say a heart felt thank you to you all.
Abhishek, i know exactly what you mean!!! everyone always tells me to just forget about being depressed etd etc but they've never really experiaced it like we do. thank you for your advice sweetheart.
(((hugs))) bless you.
thank you & thank you all!!
shadow_wolf
xxxx