Shadow Wolf,

In life we come across many situations we do not like or situations where it makes us feel worried, sad, depressed, happy, joy, etc and we fail to stop and look at our situation through eyes of another person.  When we worry so much that we begin to dream about the very thing we're worrying on, it makes living life all the worse for us.  It doesn't matter whether we are depressed or bi-polar or normal, it hurts all the same.  Here is my suggestion - When we think about what could happen all of the time, we start to wish on the very thing we worry so much on.  What I mean by wish on is that we will start to manifest the very thing we don't want.  We keep telling ourselves we don't want to happen, but when in truth that is what we trully want.  If you want to stop having these feelings, what you are going to need to do is thinking about it, because if not, it will happen.  When we think about certain things so much and allow it to occupy our every thoughts, we react towards what we think, or the possibility of what we think that we started to act as if it already did happen when it hasn't.  You draw the negative energy towards you and not allowing any positive energy in.  Once you stop the negative emotions and try to bring in the positive energy, you will find it will chase the negative energy away from you.  Everyone has powers of attracting good or bad things to happen to us.  It will be difficult at first, but you will find it will get easier the more you consciously do it.  

You are feeling ostricize by your friend and boyfriend because you keep yourself away from them.  If you realize that if you allow yourself to enjoy their company and allow them inside your heart, you will find that they never pushed you out of the picture, but try to include you within and you felt they were obligated to include you.  The turmoils you are going through is actually causing you to ush away from them.  They are getting closer to each other in your eyes and that is because you feel seperated from them and they do not know how to do that because to them they see you are changing and that you are not the same person they know you to be and so therefore they feel astranged from you.  Since they were close friends to begin with, they tend to get closer because they also want to feel accepted amongst your group.  Try meditation and I have found that have done wonders to calm me when I needed it and you'll be surprised that the answers you seek will come to you through meditation.  It will also help your depressed state and if you have bi-polar, it will help with that as well and leave you balanced.  Know your self worth first, because until you learn to value you and love yourself first, no one else would be ble to know how to love you.  Find your center and find yourself.  When you do, you will find that you will learn to love yourself and when  you love yourself, others will not help but bring forth love for you.  If you don't know how to love yourself, how can anyone else know???  The path to a quality life is to be able to find that inner peace within you and find your self worth.  You will be urprise that when you do find that inner peace, it will shine through to the exterior you and others will see that.  We go through life thinking that what makes us happy is what's around outside of us and we put too much importance in others to make us happy, but we don't realize that that in order to be truly happy, we have to find inner peace and love from within ourselves first, and when that happens, we don't need others to make us happy in life and that is because we have already found it from within.  That is the true source of happiness.  I hope this helps you somewhat.  You can always private message me if you ever want to talk further on how to find inner peace.  

Mysticangel