Yes, you are right. It's a real tough decision.
Love,
Blackbird.

Blackbird, I am glad that you are keeping the future of your dauhters in mind as you make your difficult decision. We need to learn what the world is like before we step out into the world. You may want to check this report for some useful information. Here is another eye-opener.

Dear Kris,

I can see you are a warm hearted soul full of compassion for others. It is amazing in itself that you do not flee these sorts of newsreports, like most people do. They just don't want to see it, because it makes you feel so powerless and angry. As an anthropologist, specialized in Iran and in gender studies (I studied in the most important Dutch Women's Centre in Nijmegen, with professor Ms. Willy Jansen), I know about stories like this. I have even written a thesis on women's position in Iran. It is funny to see how women's position improves when modern police are around. That is, when violence is no longer a part of everyday life. You see, we often forget that the first and foremost reason for women's subjugation (subjection? pardon my bad english) is the fact that men are physically stronger than they are, which is then institutionalised in one way or another. Women are most frequently a victim of violence in underdeveloped countries and rural areas because the law of the fittest still applies there to a large extent. Only in areas where the central authorities are firmly established and have organised a modern civilian force like a police, does violence in general diminish and with it, violence against women. This is called internal pacification and it is the main factor in determining the safety of women's physical and economic wellbeing. There are lots of factors that can modify the situation in this or that direction, such as ideology, village contacts with outsiders, war area, social control etc etc, but at the heart of the problem is always the issue of control of violence.

This is why we are not going to live in a village, our house has a high wall with spikes on top and I rely heavily on my husband for protection there. whenever we do go out into the country, we usually have the entire family with us, including 3 to as much as 10 men, because there is strength in numbers. In the city there is no danger. But our freedom of movement is obviously restrained. In itself this is not very different from my present situation in Holland, as long as I have my husband, because due to physical ailments I can hardly leave my house here. As for the girls, they will have to be driven to school and back and to and from friends' houses. But considering the lively social life, I do not expect this will prevent them from having friends and such. I do this in Holland, too, because I am very protective and the city where I live at present is not safe. I have always been protected like this by my mother, too. Not me, nor the children know any different. The difference between the two countries, in this area, is probably that in Holland, I have to protect them all on my own, society is not geared to do that. Schools are open, no walls, other parents are less careful than I am. You may find me overprotective, but as long as the convicted pedofiles in my town have not been given prisonsentences (only fines) and I see news of missing children on TV DAILY (really, can you imangine?), I'll be as protective as I can be.

Obviously, my whole stay depends on my husband. If anything should happen to him, I will return to Holland immediately.

Well,

I'd love to write about the positive sides, too, but for now I think this message is large enough.  

Many greetings,
Blackbird

Blackbird,

One thing that keeps us from truth is our fear of truth. Evil in the world does not go away if we simply close our eyes and pretend it does not exist. I prefer to look at the world as it is with some goodness and some evil. I must say that I take less comfort than you in knowing that violence diminishes with the presence of police. I would rather like to see violence diminishing due to people cultivating right values. It is sad but true that some cultures have espoused values that permit and even encourage violence against and control of women. I wish you and your daughters bright future with lot of independence and happiness.

Dear Kris,

Thank you for your kind wishes. I do believe that reliance on the police is false. And so is reliance on values. Where do our western values come from? We are protected, if not, whenever crisis strikes, most values are gone with the wind: except real mercy, that seems to thrive in such situations. And in my view, mercy is God's power. In the end, that is the only thing we can really count on: His Mercy.
Love,
Blackbird.