I have many questions. Since I was 18 I have been experiencing the presence of a ghost. It was said that it was an ex-boyfriend who had died at when he was 22. I do remember how much he loved me. It was said that he would come into my bed when I was laying and lay with me, like a couple, even sex. I do remember and still experience something sitting on my bed. It doesn't touch me anymore, but then I know I have 3 ghosts in my home. A woman, a male and a child or someone with short height. I can't see but I feel everything. I don't hear voices. This ex-boyfriend, I was told that he didn't want me happy, like the saying "if I can't be with you nobody can". I use to feel it's "body" touch mind, like when someone is sitting next to you..you can feel it's body..I prayed and prayed it doesn't bother me anymore, but I still feel something here. I was told that it doesn't want me happy in any way, it would make me feel bad about myself, low self esteem, I would say I was fat, when I wasn't, ugly when I am not. Because I can't see I don't know who is it. But I can sense the child, because of it's short legs, when it runs or places it's hands on the edge of my bed standing at the edge of my bed, bouncing up and down. Sometimes I feel some movement under me when I am laying in my bed. Also, I feel something sitting at the edge of my bed moving it's legs, watching over me. Sometimes it comes closer to me when I am sleeping or have my eyes close, maybe to see if I am awake. I have seen the woman dress in white, but like in a shadow. So many things are happening to me changes I don't understand. Around 7 or 8 years ago I met someone online, a man, from the west coast. This person I started to connect with in a very odd way. I knew things about him, and so did he. I would have dreams of where he was at the moment, next day I would ask him what he did, and he will describe to me exactly like I saw it in my dream, I can sense or feel him like he is right next to me. One day he called telling me to check my son's ears because he was going to get sick, next day my son got an ear infection. When I was 18 I started to have dreams that occured years after that, in my dream I see a man, blurry, I can smell his scent, know what van he had, we were in love he was someone special to me. When I met this man online, I saw his photo first I knew something was odd, like I knew him. When asking him questions he did have a van, same color, etc.I feel like something is blocking me or stopping me to be happy. I was not in contact with this man that I met online for a while, when first the number 717 would appear again and again, when I heard he was getting married, on July 17. I was hurt, ten months later I had a vision of him saying goodbye and saying I am sorry for the relationship that did not work, a week later I find out he was separated from his wife. Yes I do have visions, but only of him. Sometimes I may get like I am transported into another place. I really do need help, . I don't have that kind of money for someone to help me. My financial situation goes from worse to worse. I find myself standing in the middle of a street and see everyone moving with there lives (so to speak)I miss this man I feel like we are connected..but why, we never met in person, but I know him better than those who see him everyday but between me developing spiritually, and feeling these ghosts who I don't know if negative or positive..I also want to move from state..but where? What career to chose from? . Study ....but what? I always wanted to get married..when I met this man online...I knew it was him...I felt it..like I feel this ghosts in my home..one more thing..many years ago at the entrance of my sons room, the lights were off, I saw a white drop like water fall from the ceiling, time after I kept on seeing this, I even touched the ceiling to see but water is not white, and the ceiling was dry. My son was maybe 4 years old and told me "mom come I have something to show you" yes it was the same drop we both saw it fall. I have a wonderful son, what is it, the drop. I really do need help. Thank you for taking this time to read this and if it is too much I understand. Right now I need a friend who understands what I am going through who can help me,.... Please help me.

I almost completely understand (see below) and confirm that everything which you are telling us is not only in your imagination.

You are extremely gifted in being a PSYCHIC SENSITIVE.

This means that you are particularly sensitive to and can pick up on psychic impressions and signals from your surroundings, that the average less psychically sensitive person could easily miss.

You also I believe possess moderately strong mediumistic abilities (you sense the presence of spirits), although so far your abilities are largely unconscious and untapped.

You receive a large proportion of your psychic information through your spiritual body's sense of feeling (clairsentience), where others might do this instead through what they psychically see (clairvoyance) or hear (clairaudience).

You are a still largely undeveloped CLAIRSENTIENT PSYCHIC SENSITIVE.

You badly and urgently need to find an understanding and knowledgeable teacher, preferably in your local area, who is also a psychic medium/sensitive to help you more fully come to terms with what continues to happen to you of a psychic and/or paranormal nature.

Someone who knows exactly how to help you and who leads a weekly well controlled group of other psychic sensitives who are similarly exploring their own spiritual gifts in a safe and supportive atmosphere.

And the other students' feedback will help you to sort out or discern what is genuine psychic information coming through your psychic feeling center which is thought to exist in the region of your solar plexus roughly where your navel or belly button is (hence your "gut feelings"), and what is only wishful thinking, fantasy or the product of your own vivid imagination.  

You are not going crazy and these things are not the work of the devil. You are neither bad, evil nor sick in the head. In someone in whom the gift is so strong as yourself you really in the end have two main options to chose from. It is always your right to try your best to ignore or deny completely that these things have happened, are happening and will continue to happen to you in the future, but I feel that you will never find your true purpose in this lifetime if you do turn your back on such an important part of who you are as both a spiritual and human being.

The fact that you are willing to make yourself so vulnerable by discussing these things with complete strangers on an open internet message board suggests to me that the time has more than arrived for you to confront the challenges which your spiritual gifts present you with, and that this is felt to be the best possible place for you to do so safely.

I sense an increasing pressure building up within you to more fully explore and later only if you choose to do so use your psychic/mediumistic abilities to help others with their psychic experiences. This posting of yours is the first but most critical step in the right direction for you to be taking at this time in your life. Only another psychic sensitive could fully appreciate how much courage it has taken for you to be revealing these things here. MB is full of psychic sensitives who would be pleased to help you in any way, as long as you are willing to ask them.

Welcome to your psychic world and self. It will always be interesting, and never boring. It will at times give you great happiness, but at other times make you wonder if it is all worth the worry and effort which is frequently involved.

Welcome to a place where there are people who both understand quite a lot about what you have gone through, are going through, and will probably go though in the future (only you can completely understand what it really feels to be you), and are willing and ready to do whatever they reasonably can to help you over the internet. It will be in the end a combination of friends on the internet and friends and teachers in your local area who you need as part of your support team or network in more fully coming to terms with your psychic sensitivities.

It is wonderful to meet you. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I normally do most of my work only on the Psychic Reading forum, which is a sub-forum of this one. Most of the time I do not actively monitor this board, but for some reason I was drawn to do so on this occasion. Hoping that I am not too late to let you know that I care deeply about what is happening to you psychically and/or spiritually, which are BTW not exactly the same thing as one another.

May you be sent blessings in abundance,

eye_of_tiger or EoT for short  

Spiritualism has centres in many cities and may be a good resource to locate a good teacher with a spiritual bend to their teachings.  

A teacher and/or group is really your best option.  Doing it alone will give you no feed back and end up making you feel more concerned than enlightened.