hi spirit thanks for link, lots of symptoms there but also could be from my disease, simliar symptoms

what exactly is a spirtual awakening? what is the end result of this and why is the process so horrible? i thought moving torwards light and good etc was supposed to be a good process.. lol can i stop it if it's not my disease but an awakening?

Awakening is like an ongoing process of learning and growing.  We need to let go of the past and process the present.  

All our diseases and illnesses begin in the mind.  So we need to control and change our mind if it is not serving us in health and wellness.  

My first response to these symptoms was much the same......why the pain for something that is so beautiful and natural?  The fact is we are the problem.  

We do not appreciate anything we do not have to work hard to accomplish and we anticipate pain in the process.  Change our mind and we change our world.  

Believe me as I learn and grow this is the most important and sometimes the hardest lesson to absorb.  Start with your own mind.

My first thought....by whom?  

God sends us lessons to learn all the time.  It is a part of the plan of life.  But this is not about tests and passing or failure.  It is about using and learning.