In the long run an open circle is best for development.  When things happen in your meditation there is someone to ask questions of and seek a finer connection to spirit.  Do not be afraid to speak up to gain all you can from the circle.

Thank you Spiritalk!!  What you say makes perfect sense to me about them stepping too close.  I was being totally bombarded for about a week and it was too much.  I was scared to ask the guides to give me a break in case it all went away.  Silly I know.  Yet on some level I needed to be bombarded to convince me it was real, and to make sure I stayed on this path as I am good at starting things and not following through.

Things have calmed down and I realise that I need to take things slowly.  After all its taken me 41 years to get to the realisation that this is my path.  So I am doing loads of reading on the subject and practicing my meditation.

My mother and brother are making themselves very known to me right now, both with smell and visions which is so comforting.  I thought I met my mother in my meditation the one night but it was not for long and she said she would come back to speak to me during meditation when I am ready, and afterwards a red rose popped into my vision behind my eyes.  I didn't know what it meant but since then twice I've had a fleeting rose smell and then I see my mother - once she was holding her arms open and hugged me.  When she passed 7 months ago, she came to me and my sister shortly after the funeral with the most intense smell of flowers.

I have been so sad and unaccepting about my brother's passing.  He was only 26 and it was sudden but now I am beginning to realise its ok, he is still around and is happy and working where he is.

Thanks you so much for your help, it gives me great comfort and hope.

Yvonne

The 40s has always struck me as a time of second careers or beginnings of things.  It is a good time to start the spiritual journey.  When we go for it earlier the spirituality isn't always in place or later we feel too inundated to learn.  

Read all that you can get your hands on.  A Spiritualism centre will have books you have not even heard of and if you want a good list of Spiritualism literature, just ask.  I went so far as to do courses to get grounded and understand the whole process.  

Take it one step at a time and understand everything to your own satisfaction.  But do progress.  The spirit is willing, now you must learn and grow into it all.  Keep it a spiritual exercise for best results.

Morning spiritalk,

Thanks for your message.  Yes I am reading everything I can find in the library, but there is not a lot.  The church I joined has their own library which I will join this week too.  I would greatly appreciate a list of books you could recommend.

I would love to do some classes but need to do some research - not sure if there even is such a thing here in South Africa.  I should actually have asked at the church last night.

Yes I agree with you about my age, I am definitely only ready for this now.  I can feel the changes happening inside me, its amazing, the unhappiness has just lifted and I am looking at things in a completely different way.  My children keep looking at me a bit oddly and warily - its really funny.  Its as if they are wondering why I am in such a good mood all the time now!

Again thanks for your help.

Yvonne