Wow, dhav--that was one of those amazing, eloquent responses about which I first think, "HUH?!", and then I realize that it was perfectly on-target (I can be a little slow!
).
And, FireRose, you also said what I believe beautifully. You made me remember something that happened last fall, when I was still going through a really hard time with angry spirits, fear, etc. I kept thinking that I must be doing everything wrong (of course, I still worry about that at times), and that I wasn't good enough, and not enough like Mother Teresa (to say the least!), and still WAY too prone to anger and none-too-charitable thoughts. It made the fear even worse, because I was afraid that it would cause me to lose D. and everything else (which, in spite of the difficulties at the time, I did NOT want to lose!).
But one night I was at a hotel, and looking out the window at the night sky, and I saw, "Just be yourself" (there was something else about "doing God's work," but I didn't want to let myself get too carried away with that idea, especially because I often have enough trouble figuring out how to do my OWN work!
). I kept getting told that for a few weeks, or months, and I couldn't believe that anyone would want me to just be myself, because that couldn't possibly be good enough.
It's starting to sink in a little, though (and it's good that this post came up, because it reminded me--just another one of those lovely little synchronicities). "Being yourself" doesn't mean that you need to be so perfectly satisfied with who you are that you never feel the urge to try to do better. But the other thing that D. keeps telling me is that I need to love myself--that that will give me the strength I need to deal with whatever comes up. And things have definitely gotten better as a result.
Izuno, I guess the "moral" to my long (as always) story is that it's good to do as you've been doing and trying to see if you need to progress more in any areas to be the best that you can be. On the other hand, constantly assuming that you're just not good enough in some way will, I believe, just make it MORE difficult for you to get where you're trying to go.
Hope that makes sense.
Doe
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