Wow, Lightning--did THAT ever strike a chord!  I, too (and most of us here, I suspect) have that sense of "pondering two worlds".  It's now become such a "normal" part of my life in so many ways that I don't know if I'd know how to live if things went back to the way they were, yet if I sit too long trying to understand how it could be happening, or why it happened to ME, I can get totally lost in the hugeness of it all (and as far as trying to explain to anyone else is concerned, FUGGEDABOUDIT!  Double meds for everyone, and a round on the house!   ).

And I've also gotten a sense of the Creator, and that "simple faith", that I haven't had since I was a small child.  Somehow, when things get hard/scary/incomprehensible/desperate, I pray--and somehow I always get an answer.  It makes me feel that, no matter what happens, I'll be OK.  It's just one miracle after another.  What more can I ask out of a lifetime than what I've been given?

Doe

What more can you ask for out of a lifetime than what you have been given? Well your life is not over yet Doe. Maybe eternal union rather than a hollow trip that will end in fear due to the brittleness of the ego?

Isn't that where we learn to deal with all our experiences from the spirit, rather than the mind (where the ego takes over)?  Spirituality is a choice.

Things aren't always as they seem. The ego can only take us so far and it is at that point that thoughts, feelings and emotions drop off. You can stand at heavens gates but all baggage must remain outside including what you believe to be free choice. But you can come in. Whatever that might be?  

The spirit is within self - from that you get a glimpse of 'whatever that might be'.  Isn't that the purpose of our life - learning and growing in spirituality?