Hi all,

I was just thinking of my first psychic experience that made me think well this must be normal and not a fluke.  It started me on my road to know and learn more.  I would love to know what triggered everyone else path of self discovery.

Ok I'll try not to go on and on like I do so here it is in a nutshell, ok lets use coconut as its a little biger than a nut...lol

I hade bits and pieces happen since before I can recall the exact time but what triggered me to actually start working on my development was after my grandmother came to vist for the last time.  For so long after the stillbirth of my daughter I was getting used to her visits in my dreaming state.  My grandmother lost her daughter at 3 months due to a then lethal hopsital infection which is now easily treated with vancomycin.  So even when I lost my daughter I found I wanted to speak to my Grandma whom had then been dead for 2 years.  It seems my asking for her brought her through rather strong.  I would remeber my dreams as if I had watched a movie that I was actually a part of.  The dreams were that clear I can still recall what we both were wearing and the tones in our voices.  In my last official dream (we can now converse whilst I'm awake)  she was packing her old unit (symbolic with departure) and that I no longer required her I was 3 months pregnant with my next child and I woke up knowing she was moving on and ................so had I.  

The birth of my next daughter refined it and it wasnt until 5 yrs after this that I decided I wanted more control I now was no longer a busy new mum, I could make this work for my benefit.  

Every now and again I will get a dream when she wants to bundle lots of info into a nice easy ball but otherwise its all in picutres, feelings and implanted thoughts and words.  The ball of moving steamy energy outlining where she stands or floats or however they do it....

I still remember this dream so clearly and this was the first point that I realised it was real to me.  This wasnt a colaboration of thoughts and hopes all with impeccable timing and great co-incidence.  It was real, so real and lively for me that I decided to see how far I could go with it.

Today my biggest goal would be able to reunite the living with the deceased, so that everyone has their A-ha moment and can know without a doubt they have not lost their loves for eternity.  I wish to do this for aslong as I'm able and willing.  Not all people whom use their intuition choose to do it full time many just want to lead more fulfilling lives.  I'm kinda hoping I'm destined to do it many many times for many many people.

Did you have an a-ha moment?  If your developing your intuition right at the time being whats your greatest wish for your knowledge?

Over to you...........................

My aha moment... I'm not quite sure it was as much of an aha moment as it was that it scared the daylights out of me.

As very young child, under 5 I've had certain gifts, a knack for knowing things without knowing how or why I knew them, I just did. I had inhabitants in my home deliberately annoying me, or tormenting me which gave a few phobias, like being afraid to be alone, afraid to be in the dark both lasted until my mid 20's and then I got over it.

To the "aha" moment... My grandfather and I were very close, he was a very gentle and loving soul and he believed in the things I believed in so we could talk and I felt comfortable telling him things. My mother was raised a strict roman catholic and my dad wasn't spiritual or religious at all, he really didn't believe in psychics, talking with the dead, the gifted etc... So telling them the things that happened to them were just an over active imagination to them.

I'd say a year before he suddenly got sick I remember talking with him and we made a deal that when he died, we would always stay in touch, it was a promise. He died exactly 25 years ago, give or take a few hours. I was home when he passed, but he came to visit me either at that moment or after and I knew he was gone. My dad who was at the hospital had called to tell me. Anyway, he continued to visit either through dreams or just in my head and he was the first one I'd turn to when I needed advice, some sense knocked into me, a shoulder to cry on... He was there to help mold me and let me know he was supporting me. But in your own mind you think to yourself, this is real, but maybe it's not, maybe it's something I really want and my Papa isn't really here, it's all me. But it's nice to believe. My grandparents had the ultimate love story, the kind of marriage, love, friendship everyone dreams of. They were made for each other and complimented each other well. When I was older we had gone up for Christmas to visit my grandmother and she and I were talking in the bedroom, I was 17. She mentioned she still talked with him every night. And I had asked her, "Do you really talk with him or is that you think you talk with him.. because I do and I am not sure if it's just something I want to believe or if it's real." She felt it was real and even if it wasn't, she felt there was no harm done. That evening, my grandmother and I slept in her bedroom, she slept in her bed and I slept in my grandfather's bed. My brother and dad slept in the living room. My grandmother was already asleep by the time I had gone to bed, and I said my prayers and my routine after my prayers and conversation with God I always talked to my grandfather in my head. We were talking and then suddenly I hear in my own head my grandfather saying something to my grandmother... and then he wouldn't let up, he got to the point where he yelled at her in my head to get her attention and all of a sudden my grandmother yells outloud "GOD DAMNIT (my grandfathers name) I'm trying to sleep! I WAS Sleeping! blah blah blah!" With that, I bolted out of that bedroom like a bat out of hell because I was hearing him in my head and she is responding to what I can hear in my head all of this time, then I hear him trying to get my grandmothers attention in my head and her response is verbal, loud and so loud it woke my brother and father up in the other room. Enough to give my father a start and come running to the bedroom. As I was running out, he was running in, we collided with me in hysterics. He had thought the screaming was my grandmother and I had gotten into a tiff. But that wasn't what happened at all. After my hysterics, crying, my grandmother now up my father asking what is going on, my grandmother simply stated "Dad won't let me sleep!" She always addressed my grandfather as "Dad" to my father. My father then brushed it off and took me into the dining room to find out what happened and then I told him what I have just written above.. we made a deal and although I wanted it to be true, part of me believed it, there was a part of me that didn't and thought it was my own mind and not really him. But this evening confirmed everything. My father didn't understand why my grandfather and I would make a deal like that if I couldn't handle it. And it wasn't the point, I was more shocked that it was real and not just my mind playing games.

I absolutely adored and loved my father in-law and we too were very close and enjoyed each others company. He was also a very special man, a lot like my grandfather. We had made the same deal as my grandfather and I years earlier. We would stay in touch. When he passed I was so afraid there would be nobody there to greet him on the other side, so I immediately asked my grandfather to be there to greet him. I didn't want him to be alone, and I wanted a loving soul there waiting for him. Sheesh.. this makes me cry.. because I miss them so much. Anyway, during the few days after my father in law passed, he left us all signs and even one of the cousins had a phone call from him the day of his funeral, she had called to retrieve her messages on her answering machine and as she was listening to them the messages stopped and he spoke to her. And what she said was it was his voice and he said "Do you know who this is?" and she responded "Yes" and he said "Tell everyone I'm ok and I'm in a good place." the conversation ended and her messages continued. She came down white as a ghost when she came into the room and at that moment something had happened to me as well, a form of communication and I had come from another room shocked. Anyway... my father in law was buried. A week later I went to his grave to visit him, mourn, cry my eyes out and as I was driving towards the section he was buried in a man I called "Papa" was standing over my father in-laws grave and I felt like I was seeing things, or maybe it was just a man that resembled him. I parked my car and walked up to the grave, and he was still there but his eyes were so blue, a beautiful impossible blue I had never seen before. But it was him and all I could do as I approached my father in laws grave was breakdown because I couldn't believe my grandfather was actually here in the flesh, and he stepped to the side so I could stand in front of my father in-laws grave as if he was saving that spot for me. All I could do was cry my eyes out and all I wanted to do was hug him, touch him and cry. But I was so afraid if I touched him he would disappear. He stayed with me my entire visit and until I was able to compose myself, I kept thanking him for doing me that favour and I knew this was his way of letting me know he heard me and he was there for my father in-law. He looked at me and smiled once I was calmer and he started to walk away... turned back a few times to look at me, smile... I'll never forget his eyes. I saw a few times after that, but mostly we just speak in my mind and I don't speak with any of them too often.

After my father in-law passed, I would speak with him and then one day my father had said something to me that resonated with me when he realized I could speak with them, "Let the dead rest." he said.  And that one sentence it all seemed to make sense and I felt he was right. It was unfair of me to bother them and maybe I was holding them back or keeping them here instead of letting them move on. So I stopped for I think a few years, but then I would hear them.. my grandfather, or my grandmother who had passed... someone. So I figured they are communicating with me, not the other way around. Now, I'm older, we talk when we talk... I still go to my grandparents for advice when I really need it.

I've never really actively pursued developing any of the talents I have. I don't necessarily know I will - I've always had them and I'm not sure it's a route I am that passionate about. I do however want to make a difference, and I am always helping people, whether it's helping them with childcare, healthcare, advice, resolving a problem they need help with, an ear to lend, money to lend, time to lend... a reading if asked. I do pass messages here and there when they come in and if, and it's a big if I feel comfortable telling the person the message is for. I don't have an on/off switch... sometimes if I think about it or I am motivated I can make contact, sometimes I can't, sometimes they find me.

I wonder....for some doesn't it just feel like all the experiences in life are leading to the fact that there is guidance and love along the way?  No big aha moments, just a calm assurance of love.