Everyday in our life we are presented with innumerable choices, some options we choose without thinking, and we know it will work out fine. Some choices are made out of purely practical concerns and we know it will be convenient for all concerned.
But which in the long run works out to be the most beneficial? Is our intuitive choice for lets say a man who feels right going to help us or is it for a man who we've gotten used to living with - a familiar comfort zone?
I'm stuck between listening to my heart which yearns to be with a man I've gotten to know over the past 1 year and my husband, practical, stable an absolute creature of routine. I know I have to choose but its getting more and more difficult as I realise I love them both in their own ways.
If you cannot answer, I will understand. If you have any valuable pointers, please guide me.

Thanks

TC

I am not sure I can give you the solution to your problem....but I can give my opinion.

You have a stable man, not that exciting anymore due to many years of marriage, you know him in and out...and I assume you can trust him.

You have a new friend....new thoughts...a bit exciting since it is "secret"... the man is good...but since you both just have an affair....you realy don't know how
"every day" will be when you are used to each other...and that day will soon come.

Now...my best advice is to take a "time out", where you honest to yourself ask if you want to grow old with your husband, if you honest believe he will support you, and you him.
If the answer is yes....then I would be very careful to take the step out of your relationship....you know what you have...and this will go on...the "flirt" which gives excitement now have you no guarantee will be the same next year.

On the other hand...if the answer is that you don't want to grow old with your husband....then do the brake as fast as possible so you both have the opportunity  to be happy on your old days.

Good luck to you all...even what decision you go for.

Some times we don't appreciate what we have until we have lost it.  No relationship that is a bridge (rescue, change) ever totally works out for the best.

Both of you make perfect sense.
Yes I am taking time out for 4 days tomorrow, and thinking about both men without contacting either. I know I need to ask myself hard questions and its going to be painful.
As for my friend, thats how it began for a year we were friends, and when we did meet a few weeks ago, he was a thorough gentleman respecting the fact that I am still a married woman. He says he's patient and he's willing to understand if I choose to stay with my husband and remain friends with him, but I need to know if I will be happy doing that or not.
I pray I find my answers in meditation and thank you for patiently reading the ramble of someone torn.

Obviously, in the end, you have to make a choice.  I have never been married so I can't know how you feel.  I have never been torn between 2 men.  It must be hard to choose between "exciting and new" and "old and comfy."  Naturally, "exciting and new" sounds like more fun than "old and comfy."  But, I think you owe it to yourself, your husband and your friend to do everything it takes to keep your marriage together first.  Dr. Phil has a wonderful book called "Relationship Rescue."  You are a lucky woman.  Your husband hasn't left you and your friend is understanding and patient.  There are ways to rekindle a relationship and get that "new and exciting" feeling with your husband.  If it doesn't work, then you know that you tried your best.  

How does that sound?