Hi,

I'm having difficulties at the moment with ending my mediumship readings.  I started out psychic always been a medium but initially it was my own family but now that i am reading for others and have built up enough protection from my guides I am reading and receiving messages from others loved ones.  

I had BIG concerns initially with payment and wouldnt accept payment but after awhile my mate told me that I was babysitting my kids out, driving to and from these homes, using my time and energy away from my family and autistic son to help these people.  I said I had a problem with making somone pay to help them get back on the right track or to receive confirmation that the one they love is still with them and at peace etc.  He replied  "They do not pay you for your gift, your intuition, your messages.  they pay you for your time, your time away from home, your time tuning in and spending hours chatting to their loved one before each reading and that is why they pay you."

 So once I put it in that perspective and realised I was becoming very out of pocket for the help of others I realised I need to charge.   So I do now and it took awhile to get used to it.  I used to charge per reading and discovered that clients will turn that reading into a couple of hours and make it very hard to leave.  So now its by the hour

Anyway i'm just trying to give you a little of my background so you get to know me better.  I dont do emergency readings as I feel the client is not in the best state of mind should they ring wanting an 'urgent' reading so I say look I'm booked but I can put you in for three days time at the earliest.  I also wont do anymore than two in one year per sitter.

I broke this rule before (slap my wrist) x-mas when a lady rung saying she wanted a reading before christmas I said I'm sorry as I was literally 4 hours away from leaving for the week.  She persisted then so did her deceased mother on the 'other line' so to speak.  So I figured if her mum was to come through and also beg then I felt I would make an exception and I'm glad I did.  

For confidential reasons as you know I cant go into the reading itself but amazingly she had four of her passed over loved ones come in to say hello and offer wisdom.  It was a very high energy reading.  The hour was up and I went to leave but this gorgeous well mannered woman started crying and falling apart infront of me.  She was happy to hear from her family but distraught in not having them with her anymore.  I didnt know how to leave, so I stayed for 45 mins listening to her talk and cry.  Just stayed with her as a friendly ear.  Finally I was able to find a break in the conversation and said I had to go but I had to leave her in tears, happy, sad but alone and I just didnt know how to make it that hour and leave.  This generally happens everytime loved ones come in to my sitters and I cant bear to say at the dot of an hour passed well thats it or if you want more that'll be this much money.  I also though must do something as its becoming an issue with my own family

In saying this I never also want to be someone to turn to a sitter and say look your hours up if you want to sit and cry then its gonna cost you and I dont want to leave themin such a fragile raw state.  

What Do I say?  How do I end it so that I dont run into my time or hurt my sitter?  I have kids and responsibilities and I'm clairsentient so it makes it hard for me when I feel all their emotional and physical pain too.  Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to overcome this?

Many thanks
Sal

Oh Sal, this is never easy. {{{Huggss}}}

One thing that probably needs to be made clear at the time of booking is that you do have other people to go and read for and that you will have to keep to the hour session or others will be losing their time and worrying where you are?  You could also do a short leaflet about yourself and what you do, contact details etc, and put on that about time keeping, in the nicest possible way, then you can perhaps give this sheet at the beginning or perhaps at the end when you are ready, the act of giving the leaflet sort of stimulates the closure, if the message about time keeping is on the front then its not you that are to blame and it can give that little bit of a break that stops the flow of tears for a second. You could also ask then about booking another session, but for now you have to go.
Perhaps giving a small token might help too, I personally find that giving a small crystal like rose quartz or apache tear, both which help with grief can help them hold onto something.

Good Luck

while I am in agreement with charging...for time, for talent...it doesn't matter...you are there for them.  A Spiritual reading can go on because it is about comfort.  Allowing someone to express their grief is a spiritual gift we give to others.  Worrying too much about time puts the reading in the realms of materialism and might just lose some of its impact and service.

Hi, Sal.

My first training was as a counselor on a telephone crisis hotline. With callers who were in genuine crisis, we had a model to follow, and when the call was over, it was over. Then we had "VQ" ("validity questionable"), "B&L" ("bored and lonely"), and daily callers. They were harder to get off the phone, but we had a model for that, too. It was all in the training.

Later, I became a psychotherapist. Our "hour" was 50 minutes long, and there was a reason! It leaves you a bit of cushion for winding things up. If there seem to be issues left hanging, you're supposed to summarize them and bookmark them for the next session. If there is no next session, you give them to the client to take wherever he's going next. Anyway, that's all in the training, too.

I've read that the way to price psychic readings is to tell the client what you're going to do and how long it should take and for what price, and then you do that, and you charge that. If it takes longer to do what you said you'd do, then you take longer and charge the same. But what you don't do is try to cram 4 sessions worth into one session! No matter how tempting it is to try. As in the other two situations I'm talking about, it's a matter of boundaries and realistic expectations, and it comes with the training.

Maybe you could get a book on crisis intervention counseling and work through that. Or take a course somewhere. It seems to me that the talking therapies are where professionals learn to set boundaries for their sessions, and that's what this is about. Also, with some guidance on dealing with persons in crisis, you won't feel as lost in dealing with such persons-- and they will definitely come to you! It is just a method, like anything else.

I don't charge money at this time, and I don't know if I ever will. But I would gladly pay for a professional's services if I wanted them. Devoting oneself full-time to any activity doesn't guarantee competence, but it certainly puts one in a position to acquire skills that the layperson might not have. That is what I would pay for. I mean, there ain't no free lunch. If I want a dedicated psychic (or plumber or lawyer), then I have to pay, because psychics gotta eat!

BTW, I've read some of your messages, and I like the confidence that comes across in your readings. Sometimes we are too tentative. I feel that we should say, here's what the reading says-- this is it. And if we're wrong, we're wrong. We shouldn't be afraid to lay it on the line. You set a good example of that.

Oh, one thing more...

When the client is in crisis as you describe, you can refer them for short-term counseling. Just find out what agencies or practitioners in your area provide such services. It might be a telephone hotline or a clinic or a private practice. They'll be glad to give you their cards or brochures to hand to clients in need. When you refer, be sure to make a concrete plan, like "so you're going to call this number at this time," and make it ASAP unless there's a reason not to.

You're what we'd call a "gatekeeper" in the crisis biz. That's a non-therapist whose work brings her into contact with persons in crisis. You're in an excellent position to help people like that, not only by reading for them, but also by referring them for other kinds of help.