I wrote this at some stage in my life..... now a very distant memory, but am glad I wrote it at the time.



LONELINESS...

Lonely again...
So what is new?
(As if it was the first time)
It’s always “again”;
And it is not one day or two or three -
It’s like this all the time:
Lonely with myself; lonely with my thoughts -
As if condemned to these four walls,
While the world outside is humming with joy,
I walk through its bright, neon lights  
Having myself as sole companion,
Pretending to be content,
And yet with that concealed feeling of boredom,
I fake a smile at the passing crowds,
Feeling deceived and cursing my fate.

Lonely again...
This Saturday, the next one, and thereafter,
(And for many a Sundays to come)
Locked within myself and on my own,
I try not to hear the walls crying out loud:
“Get out there and do something!”
“Try again and meet someone!”
“Try, try and do not despair,”
“For there are thousands like you out there!”
I clench my fists, angry at their gaze, and I shout back:
“I’ve been trying all along; that shouldn’t have escaped you!”
“I’m not a loner and you know that.”
“You’ve seen it all - day in and day out,”
“You’ve watched me pray in despair,”
“Holding back my tears, consoling myself,”
“But it doesn’t work, no matter how I try.”

Lonely again...
This ghostly Sunday, after my morning tea,
I pick up a book
And, though not admitting to myself,
I secretly hope that the phone would ring
For that God-sent friend, out of no-where,
To show up and brighten my day.

It’s Sunday afternoon.
The phone never rang.
I’m all dressed,
Ready to go out and embrace the world,
But where and for whom, I wonder myself?
Perhaps this time, or even today
My life will change in such a way
That amongst those thousands like me out there
I’ll find a friend.

Lonely again...
But don’t despair my poor soul,
Tomorrow is yet another day.
You keep on looking
And the phone may ring.
You keep on hoping,
And you never know what the day might bring,
For in your far-fetched dreams out there
Somewhere...
You’ll find a friend.

     ©1990, United Kingdom.

The imagery in your words draw an undeniable picture, expressing thoughts from within. Lost within yourself, alone, yet free when you write. I love it.

Karen

Thank you for your kind words and comments Karen

I cried... :(

Your poem reflects my just recent history...  
Although a bit different, my children were the
only company / friendship I had...  And then
the most wonderful thing happened...  
I met Ryan...  And although I don't get to see
him as often as I'd like - my days, nights and
weekends seem to be not quite so lonely...
even when we're not together...

Your words were beautifully written, and the
imagery in your vision quite powerful...

Thank You for sharing!

Sincerely,
Cory

Thank you Cory,
I am also very glad to hear you in a happier place now.
Sorry that my poem made you cry.
Big hugs