Where are you?
Said with confusion anger and fear
You've taken my life
left me here to be mother and wyf
To start over;
a new journey
a new life
Where has she gone?
The one I called me
She disappeared
she left
ceased to be
when she comes back she's harsh and mean
She hates my kids
and crushes my dreams
Turning me inside-out
and back again
She fucks my world
and leaves my head spinning
Always,
she seems to be winning
She hates me
it hurts me.
She holds evil thoughts
She is psychotic
and doesn't care if I'm not
Throws tantrums
screams and yells
she says shit like:
Who the hell cares?
She's part of me
my other half
The one who holds all the pain
of the past
She must be full inside
full of the pain
She only comes back
when she wants to attack
she lashes out
she makes my head hurt
she makes my kids cry
the whole time, I'm wondering why?
Don't pity me
I created her...
Or
did she create me?
As a release ?
As the good one?
I am the vessel
She is the loaded gun
Breaking free
Shot to fire
Where has she gone?
She bothers me now
Making life hell
Siphoning the memories out
Some trickle back
some never come
she keeps pieces
but gives up some
Never the good
only the bad
regretful
or just plain sad
The ones that never come back
she puts on a shelf
she hordes them
keeping to her self
she is me
I am she
She...
Who I used to be
Sometimes she reappears
Bringing dreams
Bringing fears
She catches me off guard
She makes this life…
So hard