Love has a rosy glow at the start of a new romance. Yet, all intimate relationships resulting in marriage or long-term commitment eventually come to rely on the influence of the planet Saturn, which suggests that responsibility and discipline are necessary for the growth and enduring success of the union. While it may feel as though the obligations of Saturn can weigh down the romance, Saturn also gives a sizable payback for the work invested in the relationship.

Saturn is a harbinger of slow, yet inevitable change. It is also the principle source of our self-preservation and sense of security. Ultimately, self-preservation takes precedence over ego fulfillment, emotional gratification, personal development and the pleasures of love and sex. If we have not met the requirements that ensure our basic sense of self-preservation and security prior to entering into lifelong intimate partnership, the relationship will not hold any permanent satisfaction, and the responsibilities involved in the partnership will weigh more heavily on us.

The Tie That Binds

Often, we blame our companion in a long-term relationship for restricting our movements. Saturn, however, is the true tie that binds us, through the desire to achieve permanence and stability amidst change, and the instinctual perception that we are somehow wounded, and therefore vulnerable. This underlying worry commonly gets in the way of intimacy and the deepening of our original commitment to love. When we are driven by free-floating fear and anxiety, our focus may narrow, limiting our efforts to what we should, could or would do, rather than allowing ourselves to concentrate on the moment and just be.

This is Saturn talking, and before we can turn our attention back to more enjoyable matters, we must first come to know our self-imposed limitations—the chinks in our proverbial armor. Otherwise, we may undermine our best efforts to succeed in life, as well as compromise the love our relationship has to offer by allowing our affections to grow cold.

Self-Imposed Limitations

The rings that surround Saturn symbolize our boundaries—the mental and/or emotional constructs that compel us to feel small, anonymous or limited within our relationship. These boundaries constitute Saturn's wound or mark, the doubts and insecurities that follow us around like shadows, mimicking our every move. Appearances can be deceiving, however. Shadows are simply a play of light, which indicates that this mark is also our strength—the raw, form-building, solidifying power that gives us the ability to know who we are as we step through the intricate movements of the dance of life, toe to toe with our partner.

Recognizing Saturn's Mark

Our internal defense mechanisms instinctively go to work by setting up emotional roadblocks when we interact with our partner in a way that threatens to open the wound. This may impede our ability to share our feelings openly. Another telltale sign of its presence may be the repetitious re-evaluation of our companion with an eye to critical analysis of his or her shortcomings, rather than looking within ourselves for the answer.

Restoring the Balance

Maintaining an intimate, long-term partnership is a delicate balancing act, and an art very much like dancing; it requires poise, harmony, synchronized rhythm, grace and concentrated effort, if we are to be any good at it. Being in relationship means sharing true relatedness—a mutual give and take. It is helpful to develop honesty, integrity, faithfulness, reliability, patience, perseverance and a dauntless sense of humor in order to achieve your relationship comfort zone along with lasting happiness. These virtues will go a long way toward establishing a one-to-one balanced exchange of energy between you and your partner.

Keeping love alive is hard work. Healing a wounded relationship requires that you heal yourself of the anxiety, doubt, insecurity and fear of rejection associated with your own sense of being wounded. No matter where Saturn is placed in your astrological chart, the following steps can help you to achieve your relationship comfort zone:

Concentrate on paying more attention to your mate. Acquire what you need toward your future security, yet remember that you have a lover with whom to share the wealth.
Try to let go of the illusion of safety long enough for your companion to see the real you. Emotional revelation may ease the depth of your insecurity.
Remember the freedom of expression that childlike joy has to offer. Be creative, flirt with your lover, and strive to have some fun, both in and out of the bedroom.
Critical attention to detail can be murder on your love life. Choose to apply your consciousness toward devotion to love instead.
Own the fact that you are entitled to be happily in love. Give in to both wanting and needing your partner, and let them know it.
Develop a sense of humor regarding the incongruous, seemingly irresolvable aspects  of your relationship.
The Rewards of Saturn

Finally, while it is important to preserve the ideal of romance, keep in mind that Saturn rewards our efforts to have a love that stands the test of time. If we work well with Saturn in our relationships, we can learn patience, self-reliance, discipline, cooperation, integrity, honor and humility. By maintaining a stable and balanced relationship, we can also gain financial and emotional security, approval and protection, outer calm, inner peace, loyalty and emotional understanding.

Romantic bliss, along with love affairs, is associated with the Fifth House.

Saturn is associated with marriage and/or life mates through its exaltation  in Libra and the Seventh House of partnerships. An exalted planet is said to operate at its strongest level of energy, and has the ability to reach its highest potential. Venus, the planet of love and affection, is the natural ruler of the Seventh House. Libra represents balance and harmony.

Change is associated with Saturn through its mythological guise of Father Time. Father Time is also known as Chronos, the Greek equivalent of the Roman god, Saturn, and the Greek word for "time.” Chronos carries an hourglass on his back, symbolizing the sands of time. Sometimes he carries a scythe, indicating time devouring life and all its forms.

Saturn represents the "mark" or wound in the natal chart. However, ancient esoteric traditions correlate Saturn with the Hebrew letter, Tav, meaning signature or mark, symbolized by an equal-armed cross, which indicates salvation.

Marguerite Elsbeth
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