First of all you have to concentrate about fixing your problems....it is never good to seek relationship if one don't feel secure on oneself....and that will soon be spotted from a possible partner.

When we first meet, then we know very little about each other, and if we aren't truthfully in our treatment of our partner they will soon move on.

I can't understand why you want the girl to be paid for what she did to you...What about what you did to HER?

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on june i invited a girl at my home who i was thinkig she loves me, of course i didn't love her
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For me your whole story tells about a person (you) who have a very Egoistic view on life, you give and give...but they only suck you....what did you give???
You tells;  of course i didn't love her.......well what reason is it to stay? What did you give her that you did not take yourself?

In order for other to accept you, you must be able to accept yourself....to know yourself...to work with yourself.

Why shall they change for you....if you are not willing to change for them....what makes you special?

You need to meet your partner with respect, and the will to both give and take....a partnership is a bond between two unique persons, who both have feelings, needs and demands, and since they no longer are alone need to adjust these in order to please each other.
If you aren't honest, this will be spotted, and the relationship will soon crumble.

There is a lot of people that have different handicaps, yours are a small one.

Again it is most important that you yourself accept your "handicap", and don't do a big thing out of it, don't look for "wrong reasons".....a true partner look for the "soul" behind the image....how you treat her...how you respect her, how you make her feel well.....and that can only happen if you are honest toward yourself, and any partner you meet!

Good luck.

and what did you see in my photo?

That I hope some one else can give you some information on

hope