Hello I'm a newbie     I happened upon this sight and I'm loving all of the information here!!!  It would be great if someone would read my photo.
I hope the pic is not too big. I tried to make it small.  Thanks!!

You have a lovely smile and it even reaches the eyes.  As the eyes are windows to the soul, that means you truly love to smile and see life as gentile and soft.  

Unfortunately, that has not been your experience.  There are tears in the eyes.  You are trying not to get cynical and take every one at their own word.  But this is difficult when you are hurt time and again for your trust.

It is certainly a hard path to always trust.  But you must trust your own heart and that is where these lessons are going to rest if you keep yourself open to the spirit and allow trust of others.  Your heart knows and will keep you safe.

There is a relationship just ended.  And you are wondering if it was meant to be or will return.  Remember that whatever caused the rift is a character flaw and if nothing changes, why would you want it back again?  There was pain in this relationship because you opened to trust they were not worthy of your trust.

Be careful what you wish for, for surely you will get it.  And in the end it is not what satisfies the heart.

Spritalk I just want to thank you for your reply. I haven't been on the site in quite some time and I didn't realize I had received a reply.
You were correct as far as what I was going through at the time. I was confused and feeling like all I wanted was to have this person back in my life. I now realize this is not the "one" for me. Thank you again and sorry for the late reply  

First of all, I want to explain that I tend to pick up on the negative things before I get positive ones.  I think this is due to the traumatic events of my past.  I feel hurt.  You have a big family, and at times, although you love your family madly you felt like you were left out of certain things as far as gift giving goes.  You understand why, it just doesn't make it feel any better.  You were very jealous of a sister or cousin (female), you always wondered why that person had it so easy.  You thought they were smarter, prettier, and you envied it.  That's not to say that you didn't love them, cus you would lay down your life for them, you just seen it as unfair.  I getting the feeling of a very strict family life.  Your mother acted like she wore the pants, but it was just a picture, your dad was the one that laid down the final line.  You have made bad choices in men, you like to tell yourself that looks don't matter, but they do to you.  You are attracted to the look what I have instead of look what he does for me.  You are conflicted, it's like you are having an inner struggle with yourself.  You want to do better, you know you can do better, you know the mistakes you made in your past, and you should have done this instead of doing that, but honey, hindsight is 20/20.  You have to learn from your past to move forward to the future.  Stop telling yourself that it is too late to do what you want to do, get the funds needed to go to college and do what you want to do, even if it is just filling in a position while someone else it on leave.  That is what will make you happy.  Stop living on the what-ifs or what could've beens, and live in what is; you just have to make it.  The only thing it takes is time, and it's up to you to invest that time to achieve it.