Star - you are spot on. My mom and I fight constantly, we barely speak. If so it's just about superficial matters like what time is dinner with the grandparents or such.

Bboyd- thank you very much ^_^ your interpretation was very helpful

My pleasure =)

Namaste.
Louis

Hey horser,

More than anything I keep feeling like I am on a see-saw with you.. LOT's of ups and downs.. Have you ever seen how they draw lotto numbers? In that big ball machine that bobbles them all up and then one pops up??? That's the feeling I get when I see your picture. Let me break it down for you in a couple of different ways..
Sometimes, we get use to the way things go for a while and forget about looking anywhere else other than what is right in front of us. But you my dear, you like to ride fast and try to take in the scenery while you're still moving. I feel as if you are hurrying with so much that you don't get the opportunity to sometimes stop and smell the roses.
Also, I am getting a feeling of indecisiveness on your behalf. Did you have to make some decisions recently that you had to think twice about? Sometimes the way we are brought up is different that the path we choose to walk as adults.. and sometimes we go back to the way things were, and other times we stray far from that path. No matter what you do, you need the reassurance that you are loved by someone/something in order to not feel alone. Friends don't seem like a problem, but they aren't always going to be right there next to you for everything and that's what REALLY scares you.. Being alone. I mean everyone is scared of not having people around, but I get a feeling that deep down inside of you, that it is the root to some problem you might have that you don't share with people. Do you have ADD/ADHD? I think that is where the "lotto machine" picture I'm getting is coming from.. So many choices to make about all the choices you have, kind of, right? I get excited like you do too, but I also have to balance my excitement with the exact opposite, I also can find inner peace in tranquility. If you want to see things a lot clearer, you need to really meditate. Clear everything from your head and just listen to your body and let your mind relax. That seems like the first step into helping you find who you are. I get this overwhelming lost feeling from the picture too, like you are looking for a road that you can't see yet. If that road is for you to take, it will present itself to you in an obvious manner, but I don't think you will need to look for it because it will find you. You are still young at heart in SO many ways and you just need a little rest in your thoughts to help you through the day.
Try to meditate sometime.. Have you ever done that before?
I can help you if you need, just let me know..

I hope the best for you horser..

Let me know how it is for you.

-tom-

Tom,

First off, thank you so much for taking a peak at my picture! Secondly, you are very talented - I am always on the go. I work two jobs and I'm trying to get back in school. I do surround myself with many people - I do not like the feeling "lonely". I do often feel lost, like I should be doing something. I feel like I'm not living a productive life - I'm just going through the motions, work , work , work. I hope that if I get school back in the picture I will feel more like I'm accomplishing something. However, I don't know what I'm going to major in >.< I do not know about ADD/ADHD, I have never been tested for that.

I have never meditated..... how do I listen to my body?

Thank you again, so so much....

Tom is very right on about you girl... tho I don't really see u having add/adhd but I could be wrong.  One of the first things I noticed about you is that you are afraid what people think too much and that is a symptom of your larger fear of being alone/loneliness.  You are def always on the go lol!  I think you really should learn to meditate you can come over and do it with me if you want... I am learning from an online short course.. I also have a hard time with it becuz tho I am not so busy like you.. my mind is always buzzing and it is very hard for me to quiet it down.  So if you want we can try it together sometime... it's pretty fun actually.  And if it doesn't work I have been told that a "moving meditation" like Tai Chi is sometimes better for people who are bored or can't get a handle on regular meditation.