Hallo everyone, it's good to be with you all. I am new here.

What I wanted to ask is has anyone performed any rituals that they made up themselves?

I have been involved with all these occult subject matters for sometime now and after exploring so many, I found out that I like to perform acts of magick with the help of crystals and candles best.

There was a time when I was really angry with an organisation and it's people (well it was where I was working). I had no one to turn to, I just wanted someone to listen without judgement about who is right and who is wrong. All my friends and family merely responded something like "Be patient", "life is like that", "I am childish and immature" stuff. I quitted from my job. There wasnt anyway I could vent all my rage and frustrations, I really wanted to hurt something or someone. I guess I was blinded by rage.

One day I started sort of a ritual (i dont know what else to call it), I put some crystals around me I think it was a quarzt cluster and some generator crystals and some balls around it (cant remember what else, maybe some sandalwood joss sticks). I guessed I was trying to vent my rage at something. I sat there crossed legged in front of the crystals looking at the clusters.

At first I was remembering all the stuff that they had done to anger me sort of re-live them all. The next time I know all the pented rage came out like a hurricane, all I could see was black. I just see all the people I hated and the organisation is swallow by all this black stuff. There was only one intention in my mind: I dont want to see these people and this organisation ever again.

All these venting went through several days and every session lasted about 10-12 hrs. It usually started in the evening and I will seat there till dawn. Whatever negativities generated from the thought of these people I targeted them to the crystals.

After my emotions had calmed down, I resume my days as normal. Now, whenever I think of them, all  I get is indifference and coldness, I just dont want to have anything to do with them.

2 years had passed and I talked to a one of my colleague from that organisation, he told me one of the ppl I targeted had a stroke but survive and another had been involved in a scandal and had resigned 24 hrs.

Is this only chance or have I really caused it? Looking back, I must have been really angry for sitting for 10-12hrs just venting. Where did all the anger and hate came from? maybe a scorpio do feel very intensely.....

I generally create and do my own rituals, admittedly I'm just starting the craft side of my Pagan Path. However there are reasons that everything you read and everyone you talk to tells you not to do any type of magick when you're mad or hurting. It has the potential to create a larger much bigger problem.

It is not for me to say that what you did caused or help create the situation from your old employer but I would suggest not doing magick again in those black rages that you feel. Scorpios are attached strongly to Death and the darker side of life to begin with.

Witches (people who practice spells and rituals) need to walk a very fine line, most other people don't believe or assume that it is wrong to do. It is for us all to decided on our own and while I'm Pagan I do live by the Law of Three:

What I put out will come back to me three-fold.

hey tabi  

Well that was a once off thing. I was going through a very bad patch in life. You are right about the karmic retribution.

I guessed at that time I was blinded by rage and hatred to expend so much life force on the matter.

Bad patches happen in life, so it is understandable. Jus tbe careful of what you do within those bad patches to make sure you dont' make them worse then they need to be. ;) Glad to hear you're doing better though.