Hi,

I am writing these words because I am pretty much desperate and I don't know what else I can do. I am asking your help because the situation I am in causing very much pain to those who are very close and dear to me. If you're interested in helping me, please continue reading.
The story is a bit long, I tried to make it as short as I could.

It all started about nine years ago, when my mother's ex-good friend (let's call her L.) saw a young woman crying. L. asked her why was she crying, and the woman replied that her boyfriend kicked her out of his house and she has nowhere to go.
L. felt sorry for her and offered the woman to live in her house. Instead of paying rent she would clean L.'s house.

It turned out that she didn't only clean the house but also got into L's son bed. L. didn't like the idea that a woman in her 20's is having sex on daily basis with her teenage son and tried to get rid of her by setting her up with someone.
L. knew that my brother was still single, so she nagged him to come to her house and meet a "wonderful young woman". After a while my brother agreed to meet her and he and the young woman (let's call her B.) started dating. At that time we, his family, did not know why L. was playing matchmaker, we found out about it only a few years later.

After awhile my brother told us that B. was pregnant and that they are going to get married. We are not an interfering and nosey family, my brother was already in his late 30's, we thought that he is old and mature enough to make his own decisions, so we told him to do what he thought was right (even if we did not approve of it).

Eight months afterwards B. gave birth to a baby daughter. The child has no similarity to my brother, and even back then, when she was just born my mother had a feeling that my brother was not the baby's father. It is most likely that she's right. Even though B. had sexual relations with L.'s son at that time, I am saying most likely because my brother refuses to perform a DNA test.

My brother was always very close to my mother, he always respected her and tried to be there for his family whenever it was needed. From the moment he met B., he started to turn his back to his family.

From the first day in which B. met us, she was constantly telling horrible things to us (yes, without any shame, right in our faces) and spreading nasty fraudulent gossip about us.
My mother has been called  "old stupid bitch", "old whore", "crazy old bitch"- and this is just to name a few. She told my late aunt the she was an "old dirty woman" and I, among other things, am a "mental retarded" and a "whore".
I can tell you that my mother is one of the smartest people I know and much respected person in the town we live. My late aunt was always super clean , her house was as clean as a pharmacy. About myself, I can tell you that currently I'm studding for my P.H.D. About the whore, I will let you be the judge if I sound like one or not.
If this is said to us personally, you can imagine what was told about us behind our backs.
By the way, a few years ago we found out the B.'s ex-boyfriend kicked her out of his house because she said things to his family and about them. But my brother, not only that he did not kick her out, he has ALWAYS defended and still is defending her no matter what she does.

And this is only the tip of the iceberg, only a small part of B.'s behavior and actions.

My brother has a very successful business, he makes very good money (my mother gave him the money to start this business). B. is not working, she sits at home all day with nothing to do. My brother gave her free access to his bank account and her own credit cards. He's working from the early morning until late in the evening and he doesn't control her spending, so she spends.
Behind his back, she gives money to her parents (who bought a new house, new furniture and a new car during a very short period- something quite unusual for people who don't work) and also to L. and her son.
She is still having sex with L.'s son during all this time she is with my brother, she paid for his college education, has been paying his rent for more than six years, paying his bills (since he's not working) and much more.

Those are the less disturbing details, in my opinion, after all that's his business what is she doing with the money and whom she sleeps with.
What disturbs me most is the influence that B's behavior has on my brother and my family.

She's turning her daughter against us and teaching her to be very disrespectful towards her alleged father and us. When she was younger she didn't call him Dad of father, she called him only by his first name. When she grow older she began to call him Dad, but when ever he does something that doesn't satisfy her or tells her to do something she doesn't want to do, she tells him things like: "shut up, you're a nobody here", "this is my house and I will throw you out" etc.
She has never called my mother Grandma, only by her first name (B.'s parents were always called grandma and grandpa).
When she got older, she also added to that "stupid old woman", "bitch" and "I hate you, I hope you will die".
I was called "whore" many times, she told me that I was her most hated thing in the world, and quite a few times I received "warm wishes" to die soon.
Those are clearly things that a 6 or 7 years old can’t say without someone telling her to say so.
When we tell her that she shouldn't say such things, she says something rude. If her mother is not present, she threatens that she will tell her mother that we were mean to her, yelled at her or even bit her- knowing that her mother will tell my brother. And he, as usual, will believe her and take her side, because children do not lie (well, unless they are taught to do so).

When my aunt was dying, her last wish was to see my brother and B. prevented him from seeing my late aunt.

B. is never satisfied with what she has, something or someone always bothers her, she is constantly arguing with my brother and he does everything she wants just to keep her calm and silent. The whole situation has a very negative effect on everyone.
My brother aged very much, he looks much older than his actual age. He became both very bad tempered and apathetic at the same time. He started to have serious health problem, he had two heart attacks by the age of 45.
It is also very painful for my mother, to see her son in that shape and gating this kind of disrespectful attitude from him.

Since my brother met B. the relations between him and us has been bad, sometime they were "correct" and sometime he didn't speak with us for month.
We tried to convince him that his relationship with B. is destroying both him, told him about all the things we have found out about B. (some of which I have wrote here), cried, begged , and then cried and begged some more, but nothing helped. It is as if my brother was brain washed by her.

If she doesn't want my brother to have any contact with his family, he does what she wants and cuts off all his contacts with us.
It came to a severe peak point, when my brother had told me and my mother "I hate you so much bitches, I don't want to see you ever again, I am sick and tired of you both and you both can go to hell". He hasn't spoke with us since then.
Each and every day, I see how this separation from my brother breaks my mother's heart, one third of her family, the son she loves so much, treats her in such a cruel and horrible way.

It is seem irrational, my brother has totally changed his personality after he met B. It just doesn't make sense, people in their late 30's- 40's don't go though such 180 degree changes all of the sudden.
And just because we tried to speak to my brother's rational/ logical side and nothing helped, it makes me think that there's something more to it, more that can be seen.

B. and her family are from a country where there are many gypsies, their poverty there makes them, many times, give away secret knowledge for money. I'm starting to assume that there are some magic and/ or spells involved here.
I don't have much knowledge in that area, but I know about it because I have always been interested in what is considered, by the science, to be unseen and unknown.
However, until the last few months I didn't absorb that B. might use it.

More than that, friends of our family also say that it is just doesn't make sense to them. When I told them about my assumption I was sure that they would say something like "it's nonsense" or "you're crazy", but to my surprise they said "it's possible" or "maybe you're right".

If anyone thinks that there is something in what I am saying here, and if anyone can somehow help me, I will be forever grateful.


Thank you very much for reading it all (I know it was extremely long…), sorry for any grammar/ spelling mistakes, I am from a country where English is not the main spoken language.

Take care, D.

I  have read this a couple of times now...
It's a hard thing sometimes to stand back and just watch anothers life without doing or saying anything. Especially if we really care about their well being. Interefering though causes many family estrangments and I am not surprised your brother has told you all where to go.

Your brother's life is his movie... he is the director, no one else. He has the right to chose whoever is in it. There is nothing you can say or do to make your brother see the situation as you do.  You know, even if he did realise this woman is not good for him ... he will cling on.   He has his own family now, the rest of you are extended members... and like it or not he too has the right to chose whether you are in his life.

It happened in my family too. My older brother chose to be with a woman that mother didn't like, it was based on moral issues as well. She was deemed to be not good enough for her son. True his girlfriends behavior was easy to pass judgement on, and she too said and did some nasty things, fighting back. So did Big brother...  the negative energy grew... back and forth... and in the end My brother walked away from family as well. This was devastating for Mother, but she couldn't see how she had started it.

If you want a relationship with your brother you have to stop trying to convince him he is with the wrong woman ... You owe him an apology.    You meant well to want to protect your brother, but  by continually looking for his womans weaknesses so  that you could point them out to him  has caused this rupture in your relationship.  Really... it was none of your business to begin with.... and as much as you want to point the finger at this woman for causing the family's difficulties....  You really can only blame yourselves, for your reactions to his decisions.

Unfortunately, I don't see a resolution to your families estrangement issues. Sorry.  

P E A C E
Evie

There is much truth in what Evie says.  In addition I do not believe spells, powers, curses work unless the person believes in them which is what gives it power in the first place.

How you have portrayed your sister in-law she sounds like a very insecure, manipulative, ungrateful, materialistic, selfish, over-bearing, disrespectful, delusional but very persuasive certifiable nut-job who is raising your niece the same way. But then this is your side of the story and there are always three sides to a story. Yours, hers and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. It's all based on perception. I'm not saying you are over-exaggerating, because I know someone like this hell-hound you describe. She married someone who was once a very good friend of mine and she has alienated him (the same way you described your sister in-law) from not only his entire family, but he has no friends left because of her. In fact, this friend was once someone very close and special to me, now I have nothing to do with them at all... I've wiped my hands from them, my life and those who followed in my foot steps (including his own family) are easier because of it.

It's your brothers bed to lie in, to either fix it, walk away from it or do nothing at all. As a family member, a friend, it is your duty out of concern of their welfare to tell them how you feel and it is up to them what to do with that information. However, shoving it down their throat repetitively (whether it's true or not) only exacerbates the situation and pushes them further away from you if they disagree. It's a lose lose situation. You can take a horse to water, but it's up to them to decide if they want to drink, you can't force them to drink.  

If it were my brother and his wife, I personally would have told him from the get go how I felt before he married her and left it at that. If she continued to do things that bothered me after I have told her what it is she does that irks me and she continued, she would no longer be welcome in my home, or my life for that matter. If my nieces or nephews ever spoke to me that way and continued to do so after I have explained to them why it is wrong, if I have tried to lead by example and teach them without success, they too would no longer be welcome in my home. It doesn't mean I don't love them, it means I don't have to take this from you and certainly not from a 7 year old. If my brother didn't like it then he will either have to accept it for what it is just like he'd expect me to and come without them, or walk away like I would choose to do. If your niece is anything like you describe, I'm sure it overflows into her social life and schooling and I'm certain the school has their eye on her as do her friends parents. In which case she will learn the hard way when she is constantly in trouble for mouthing off and being disrespectful and she will lose a lot of friends. Perhaps when she realizes at a young age why she is always in trouble and has no friends who want to socialize with her, she will change her tune. Because I don't think many children will be friends with someone lippy like that and I know their parents wouldn't.

In either case, complaining about her (your sister in-law) gives her the attention and energy she craves which gives her added fuel to her fire to aid her case to your brother of 'her vs. your family.' He has to live with her, you don't. Your brother has made his decisions in this life, and they are his and his alone to make.

You have four choices

1. Accept it for what it is
2. Put up with the nonsense, try and fight it, allow it to aggravate you and eat at you like a cancer
3. Ignore it
4. Walk away from it

After reflecting on the choices I've listed and how many times you have read them and realized you have tried 1-3 several times and to no avail to any of them work you'll make a decision (1-4) when you're ready to choose one (you have the rest of your life to figure it out) you can find peace with . Until then, you'll continue to be stuck in this maelstrom by choice. I'm not being indifferent or cold, and I'm certainly not trying to be cruel, I'm simply stating facts and the alternatives available to you for your own sanity and peace of mind. You can't control what others think or do, you can only control what you think and do.

Good luck, God bless and I hope you find peace with this.

Angelique

Hi D

Sorry to hear about your situation. Well I'm one of those who belive
about spells and so on..I'm a witch ofcourse and so I know it happens.
The problem is that even if there is something like that going on...there
is still not much you can do about it.

The person who is bewitched has to do something about it. Not you.
He would be the one looking for help. I know how fustrating that is
specially when it's your own brother. But if you guys had a better
relationship you could of talked to him to explore that posibility.

Many moons ago, something similar happened to my brother.
He was with this married woman, he was only 19 I was 13 and
my mother had a fit!!! This woman was so uggly I can not begin
to tell you. But my mother and I could not figuer out what he
possibly see in a married woman with kids. Him being handsome
and so young. She consulted her tarots and sure enough there was
witchcraft envolved. Since my mom did not have a good relationship
with him at that time, I sat him down and asked him..what attracted him
to her to begin with. He could'nt explaine it...he said all of a sudden it
just happened, and he knows she is married and and has kids...all
of that he knows ..but he felt like he had no will. He told me how much
he loved us and my mom but he was drawn to her. He never said he
loved her.  

I have been a little witch since I can remember and so we went ahead and
did some cleansings and retuals and it was like he woke up from a trans.
In a matter of days he broke it all off and he was back to normal.

But prior to all this we sure went threw hell. The fighting and problems
this woman brought to our family. She was given what she deserve
soon after I took my brother from her gripp, he husband found her
with another man and ruffed her up really bad. He left her homeless
and without kids.

Sad story but true. Now I had told my brother, if he is dumb enough
to allow anyone to do this to him ever again, he was on his own.
Ten years it happened again...but by that time...I was out of his
life and he was on his own.

Best thing to do at this point D is let him find out on his own.
He can be witched but it never last forever. He will have plenty of
chances to wake up and make his decision and if he doesn't it's because
he really wants to be there.

Good Luck to you.