today im feeling alot better and im learning to work with myself, so it will be alright  thanks. hugs

Lovely news

thank u gem i am doing good today just taking it day by day. and i will stay positive.

Hi there,
I hope I don't impose with my reply here. I read your original post and it struck a chord of familiarity.

About 3 years ago, I went through a separation and finally divorce from my husband of 14 years. I know that feeling you describe all too well. The residual 'but I still care' feeling.

At the time we split up, I did the one sane thing I could think of, and ravished by depression and suicidal thoughts, I went to see a professional therapist. It turned out much better than I had hoped in the end, and the lady I was talking to about my mental issues explained to me how come we can't just fall out of love.

In my case, I had lost my identity over the years, as in, I didn't exist, it was always we and us, like a 2-headed relationship monster that devoured me entirely and left nothing of what used to be me. After the split, it was really hard to think in terms of I will do this or I feel in such a way. I was still sorely tempted to say we and us even referring to my own issues and tasks.

Hopefully you are just so used to thinking of your ex as 'the one you love' that all it would take is some self programming to think in other terms. Like Rhutobello pointed out, make yourself think of yourself and the future and will him out of your imagination. At first, it was the hardest thing I could ever imagine, but over time it got so much easier, and now, I hear his name and I laugh at how stupid I was to have bought into his web of lies to begin with.

I've come down this road, and many have walked in these shoes before you or I did. I wish you the best in your journey of self-discovery, because that's what it is really when you pick up the pieces after a break-up. I wish you the best of luck. Keep on keeping on.

thank u emoshim your story was really inspirational, i was feeling like u described exactly, but its getting better and better to cope. im thinking of my future now, thank u for your encouragement u are a sweetie. hugs.