Haribol y'all there,

I remembered some experiences, which are quite mystic :

- summer 1999, solar eclipse september?, Rishikesh, India :

.....i stayed at the Omkarananda ashram, Rishikesh and went for a 10 day trip to Vrindavan, the playground of Krishna.
When i came back to the ashram (i kept the room, also for the days when i was in Vrindavan), i had to take something from the cup-board.
Suddenly a cockroach jumped on my hand and ran over my arm towards my body, i was disgusted by it, cause i always found these insects "unholy and dirty", and then another one jumped one my hand doing the same thing.
So my first reaction was to slam the roach, to kill and destroy it for it's appearance and the "nerves" it had to jump and walk on me.
So i banged the roach and quickly, with it's leftovers and the other roach, i walked to the toilet and threw them both in the water of the toilet, merely a hole in the floor though.
So i flushed the toilet by pouring water into it.
The one who was half dead was flushed away, but the other one came back and, believe it or not, i could "feel"/sense it's utter despair, the roach knew it was going to be dead and was literally fighting for it's life, such was the energy, that came from him/her.
But i was ruthless and flushed again and the roach didn't return.
I had killed and destroyed and i just came back from Vrindavan, can you believe it !!!
Anyway, i decided not to think of this too much and to take a walk along the banks of the Ganga and enjoy myself.
But then as i came across the food-stalls along the streets i suddenly had
an urge and taste for food, so i began to eat, first some cucumber, then fried samosa's, then a hour later more samosa's, then fruitjuice, then a few packs of chocolate and mango cookies, then a hour or so later a big piece of cake with more cookies, well, i just couldn't stop eating, you know, this behaviour was not like me, i used to look after my eating habbits, i only ate twice a day and left gaps of at least 4-5 hours between meals, in order to let it digest properly and smoothly.
But this was, i don't know, i just HAD to eat, so i kept on eating and drinking and around 16.00 i became, well, i wasn't feeling good, i felt terrible and my stomach was overloaded and very thick.
I decided to try to puke it all out in the Ganga on the Ram Jhula side and some was coming out, but this terrible feeling lasted.
I didn't care for the solar eclips anymore (it was cloudy anyway) and went to my room again. There i laid myself o bed and i got heavy cramps in my intestines, that wouldn't go away, i was in great suffering, really.
I didn't know what to do, i had the feeling that i had a vicious disease, so i became restless in my mind also with those imaginary fears and believe me, they are the worst !!!
So this i felt all evening and my stomach was still big and full, i thought that it had stopped working and that i would die soon because of it.
So this held on even during the night, all these cramps and then around 2 in the night i began to think back to those roaches, they might be connected with my sudden disease. So i was thinking deep over it and i felt very sorry for these roaches, what did i do to them !!! Maybe they were a couple and i just killed them in the most ruthless way, brutal and barbaric, not the behaviour of a sadhaka, i mentally saw the roach coming back to safe it's life and i felt it's despair again, but this time intense. I couldn't take it anymore, considered myself evil in doing this and repented, i sat on my knees on the floor before the bed and folded my hands in prayer pose before my chest.
I began to pray to God, like my life was on stake here, i was praying intensely for at least 15 minutes to ask God to take away my pain and also i promised God that i NEVER, NEVER would kill an insect anymore, ever again.
After the prayer i lied down on bed and suddenly my stomach, i don't know the english expression, but my stomach became flat again, all this undigested food went down to the rest of the inner digestive organs or so and the cramps dissapeared completely.
Then i knew that God had teached me a lesson........

When i, a few years later, came back in Rishikesh, 2002, i killed 3 musquito's at night and i got very, very sick and had a lot of pain during the night everywhere, it reminded me everytime of my promise to God.

Now i'm in Krishna consiousness and we study the Srimad Bhagavatam, an ancient purana, written 5.000 years ago.
In this purana, in the 5th canto, chapter 26, verse 17 i found this description of what happens to a man who takes pleasure in killing insects, i will give you the full text here, this chapter deals with the different kinds of hell :

....By the arrangement of the Supreme Lord, low-grade living beings like bugs and mosquitoes suck the blood of human beings and other animals.
Such insignificant creatures are unaware, that their bites are painfull to the human being. However, first classhuman beings - brahmanas (priests), ksatriyas (warriors) and vaisyas (bussiness man) - are developed in consiousness, and therefore they know how painfull it is to be killed. A human being endowed with knowledge certainly commits sin if he kills or torments insignificant creatures, who have no discrimination.
The Supreme Lord punishes such a man by putting him into a hell known as Andhakupa, where he is attacked by all the birds and beasts, reptiles. mosquitoes, lice, worms, flies and other creatures he tormented during his life. They attack him from all sides, robbing him of the pleasure of sleep. Unable to rest, he constantly wanders about in the darkness. Thus in Andhakupa his suffering is just like that of a creature in the lower species.......

So i might have paid the price already...karma is a purification and learning process indeed !!!

- november 1998, Rishikesh, India :

.....at that time i attended the Yoga course of Swami Dharmananda of the Ved Niketan Ashram, Rishikesh.
I used to chant OM loudly in my room at night, not so very loud offcourse, but one day i changed the chanting into what sounded like a didgerido....
AAAAUUUUMMMMMWWWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAUUUUMMMM....something like this, very hypnotic.
After a minute or so, i had my eyes closed, at the eyebrow centre, a figure appeared, a dark figure with a black cape wrapped around him, i saw only the back and then he turned his face to me and said : "Did you call me, sir ? "
I openend up my eyes immediatly, i felt evil coming from this figure.
I didn't know what this was and was puzzled.
The next day i went to Dharmananda and asked him what this was. He replied why i decided to alter my chanting, i said i didn't know, i just did, then he said it was a djini. This is a powerfull being, i was told, and can do a lot for you, like fulfilling your desires, but then you have to give something in return, i never did this chanting again........


More people with these kind of experiences ?

Haribol.

Erik.