Hi,

I'm not a musician, Im a designer, but my bf is a singer. His self confidence is very low after a not so good first performance. He didn't connect w/ his audience at all and his eyes closed the whole time. We couldn't hear him so well because of the Mic either. The only time he opened his eyes, he looked straight at me as if he was asking if he was doing ok, for encouragement.
Hes very to himself type of  person,  not  a 'look at me  type'.
how do I encourage him to keep going. He has talent, granted his voice needs to be developed but  I want to encourage him the right way, because I know his first show is going to haunt him forever now.
any pointers I could give him??? So that I don't push him away?

Thank You.

I'm a musician as well, and I think I can relate a lot to what he is going through. Unfortunately, performing can be a very nerve-wracking, scary thing, but it's just one of those things that you can only really get a comfort level with and used to with experience. Confidence and a positive frame of thinking are so powerful, as with most things in life... people tend to reflect and respond to what you present them. I've screwed up hardcore in performances before (in my head) but just kept going and played it off and just made  a point to present this air of confidence..... no one but me even noticed otherwise. It's almost like your mindset sets up a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. It's still hard to not be self- conscious at times, even the best musicians, no matter how talented, go through the same thing, and you can sort of end up shooting yourself in the foot.
I would just encourage him, remind him of this,, give him a lot of support and reassurance and whatever else to up his confidence.... encourage him to perform in front of people,,, even in baby steps with a smaller number of people that he is comfortable with amd build up from there..... I am very sure that over time he will eventually build up the confidence to be able to show off and express his god-given talents without the anxiety interfering with his gift

Dear friends!
 
            It is really true one need not to be a musician, god will give all talent as soon as we born,but making use of it is in our hand. Now latest medical research is music therapy,it is already implementing in western countries.It is simple when you are tired,tensed and stressed you try listening to any type of music or you play any instrument if you can.It is my own experience.

My friend is a singer, she does little paty for friends and family. They way she handles it, is she just goes with it lol Also, if you love preforming then you really should be scared. You only get the feeling of butterflies in your stomach :P