Perhaps the understanding would be a lot more conducive to learning with a teacher or group to offer energies of learning.  Those that go off to do their own thing often have experiences they don't understand.  Frequently these become disruptive to their lives as they try to understand the portals they have opened.  

A teacher helps with a lot of things, including the lessons to be safe, sound and learning in all aspects, all the time.  Please do not dismiss that help is often the best method of learning.

We each have talents, abilities and skills (psychic included) and the more we open and develop our own talents to the best possible level, the more conducive to our lives will be the attendant results.  The opposite, when fooling around with energies, can also be the result.

God bless, J

Winged Wolf:  You have found a lot of answers all on your own and suggest this chaos to others.  And yet.....you have arrived in a Mediumshhip Development group to learn?  Perhaps there is more in life than this individual, alone struggle?