(I just posted what's below on the "Introduce Yourself" forum, but it was suggested that I re-post it.  This seems like it might be the most appropriate place--I hope so!)
I'll try to make a rather long story short.  17 years ago, someone I loved dearly died.  Last year I started to write a book about him (he'd asked me to; it just took a while for me to get around to it!), and found myself going through an intense grieving period that I hadn't allowed myself, for various reasons, when he first died.  Although I'd never really believed that it's possible to really contact the dead, I was desperate to talk to him again and apologize for some things, and to tell him I loved him (again, for various reasons, I'd never told him before).  I was in BAD shape--total basketcase.
But things started happening for which I couldn't come up with any explanation other than that he was, in fact, around--a lot of beautiful visuals, synchronicities, and just truly odd and sometimes funny things.  Slowly, I became able to see him, as well as other figures--especially in the dark, but often in broad daylight too.  Late last summer I also started to be able to "talk" to him, and to other spirits (I actually see the words sort of in the air in front of me--no voices, but I think that's because at the beginning I kind of requested that I not hear voices so that I wouldn't feel schizophrenic!).  To my absolute joy, he's now here with me all the time, acting as a kind of spirit guide (and a wonderful, caring, positive one at that).  He reminded me that on the day after his death I "prayed" to him to come back and find me if he ever could, so he did.
I have two small problems--one is that sometimes it gets really hard to "read" what he or any other spirits are saying.  It all just gets very faded, and it's frustrating (at other times it's incredibly clear).  The other is that I seem to attract spirits wherever I go (I'm a travel writer, so I travel a lot).  I THINK that I often kind of see their last thoughts, but at other times they just want to talk.  Some are very angry and/or frightened, and some of their anger and fear gets directed at me.
I don't know anyone else who does this, and, aside from all the guidance my friend gives me, I'm kind of lost and "in the dark", so to speak.  I'd like to be able to help the "lost" spirits, but I have no idea how--previous attempts have usually just made them angrier.  I feel that I need a non-spirit guide as well--not a TV psychic, or someone who sees it all as a business, but someone who has had similar experiences and is more advanced than me with it all.  I'm not nuts, and I'm not imagining things.  I just could use some guidance!  (So much for keeping the post short.)
Help?
Thanks!
Doe
P.S.  On occasion--only when it's really important, my friend gives me hints about the future (we call it "peeking").  He just told me to "keep writing" here; he said that he'd peeked, and that I'd be able to find someone to help.  So I'm encouraged!

I think I should probably be more specific about what my "problems" are.  My friend, D., had a very rough life before I knew him--he'd been terribly abused as a child, and had been addicted to drugs, and had gotten into some of the trouble inherent in that lifestyle.  I only knew him during the last 8 months of his life (as you might guess, he died of AIDS, and I moved in with him and did my best to take care of him in that time until his death), but during that time he was the sweetest, kindest, most caring person I'd ever met--he'd decided that he wanted to change his life, and he did.  I believe that some of the spirits who bother us now are people who weren't too happy with him in the "old days" (but there are others, too, I think, who are just "stuck", and don't know how to get to the "place of peace", which is how it's been referred to to me).  They often try to pretend to be him when I'm trying to talk to him, or they'll give me "predictions" which are false--whereas he's warned me about real dangers on a number of occasions.  I guess my problem is one of identification; I just want to be able to "see" a little better so that I know right away when I'm being duped, and not have to be suspicious every time I talk to someone.  D. always has thoughtful, positive, non-judgemental advice, but sometimes I'm fooled into thinking I'm talking to him and then end up realizing that some bitter spirit has tricked me.  (They can be insulting, too, but I'm no longer so worried about that.)  I've tried reasoning, and asking them to go to the "place of peace", but some of them don't budge.  As I said, it's a long story, but I'd love to be able to talk without interference to D. and get his help and support, and also help the spirits who are stuck.
I hope that makes things more clear.
Doe

When we have psychic abilities it is important to start our development with some good techniques and exercises to keep us grounded, protected and shielded from all spirit input.  You have not done this - you have assumed the presence of a lost loved one and put a lot of faith and time into believing they are there and guiding you.  Our loved ones come to visit to bring comfort, our spirit guides work with us in love and partnership.  Everyone has their own job, so to speak.

Dismissing all spirit contact at present would be a good start.  There does not appear to be anyone there that is worthy of your attachment.  Do not start with 'rescue' work when you have not even considered what is good psychic practices first.

Take charge of what is happening.  To do that you begin with the tools of your own consciousness (visualization, meditation, affirmation) and make it in your own time and space that contact is made.  You use techniques that contact your own spirit guide and that is who you communicate with - the rest will come through your guide who is the filter for the negative spirit you are receiving.

Reading through the Mediumship Development notes allows an understanding of what may be happening here and enable you to dismiss the present ones for the loving spirit.

Thank you for responding, Spiritalk.  Although I can't agree that D. is not "worthy of my attachment" (we've had many discussions in which he's proven to me who he is, where he's been, and why he's back, and he's also been nothing but positive, kind, and helpful to me and my family--there's a lot more to it than I've written here, and I've got 45 pages worth of journal entries on it!), it's very true that I haven't worked on techniques and exercises.  But that's only because this all came about on its own, slowly (over a year's time) and gradually enough that none of it really scared me (that's also because I knew right from the start that it had to do with D.).  I don't know anyone who I can really talk to about this; there's no one I know personally who would believe me.  So all I've been able to do is to go online and do whatever "research" I could, and I've been very much alone with it (not unhappy, just alone) until I found this site.  Believe me, I've done a LOT of thinking on all of this, and I've learned a lot, and I take it all very seriously, because I feel that I've been given a gift of incalculable worth, and I'd like to be worthy of it.

I've been reading through the posts on mediumship, etc., and I'll continue to do that.  It does feel great to be in a "place" where I can actually communicate to people who understand and believe me!

Thanks again,
Doe

P.S.  This is something that I found on Kundalini-Teacher.com, and I feel for a lot of reasons that it describes D.:
The sweet ghosts are the ones who have gone into the light, and retain a connection to the Light while being present to love and support their children or loved ones…These spirits are connected to Divine wisdom, so they aware of the passage of time, supported by being in the light so they have no need of being fed by your attention. They see you through Goddess eyes, and may guide but do not judge. They have gone through the life review and know the purpose of their life and death, and return simply for the sake of love for those they have left behind.

Hi again, Spiritalk,

I took a long bath after I replied to your post, and did some thinking about your feeling that my friend is not "worthy of my attachment."  I thought about the things he's done and said, and (although it might sound defensive) I decided to tell you what some of them are here.  I've read a lot about "discernment", and these are some of the things that tell me that I'm not wrong about him.
--He asks (never tells--just asks) me to do healthy things--exercise more, get off the computer and out of the house for walks outside, not drink too much, etc.  (He's got his work cut out for him here!)

--He tells me that I need to love myself more--"stop listening to the old voices", and be happy with who I am.

--Although he's not thrilled with my estranged husband because of some of the things he's said and done, he's asked me to try to love and be friends with him for my son's sake.  When my husband was sick, D. insisted that I get him to go to the doctor.

--He was the one who actually reminded me to buy some new boots and mittens for my son when we were getting ready to go on a trip to Canada in December  (yeah, yeah, I was gonna think of it myself!).  He LOVES my son.

--He said something along the lines of, "God is in your body.  You just have to find (his?) love."

--He's warned me, and been right, on a number of occasions about people and possible dangers.  I made the mistake once or twice of disregarding what he said, and I regretted it later!

--He also just told me to keep writing here, even after I told him what you said.

--When I first found that I could see what spirits were saying, I thought that I needed to listen to everything they said, respond, try to "help", argue, etc.  I'd stay up all night trying to do that, and I was exhausted and pretty freaked out a lot of the time.  D. kept asking me to stop, to ignore it all, to just go to sleep, and not to respond.  "Just give it time," he says (he still says it); he says I need to learn a lot before I try any of that.  I finally learned to listen, for the most part, and things have been much better.

There's a lot more like that.  Now, in a living person I think there wouldn't be any argument of the person's worthiness if he or she did those things.  Is there any reason that it should be different with a spirit?

Doe