Q    Afterwards, do they still see everything that is going on, the same as before they left?

A    No. they have severed their connections as far as that particula rbirth was concerned, and whatever contact we may think we have with them after thei death is due to the projection of our own mind. They have gone to where their karmas have taken them, and are engrossed in their own karmas. All our grief and worry does not help them in the least; rather, if they are attached to us, we are thereby attracting them back to this world. A previously mentioned, it is our strong attachments that act as roots which we leave behind, and which in turn attract us back here again. So it is much better for us to have our roots in Shabd, which will merge us back into the Lord and, ultimately, all those who are attached to us will merge along with us. That is the best way to help those whom we love and those who are attached to us.


Q    There have been discussions amongst ourselves about receiving and giving gifts. Can you explain this?

A     I have been receiving many letters about that and I have written many replies. You people put too much emphasis on and unnecesssarily analyze very small, minor things. Probably the real teachings do not reach you in the right aspect. '

There is o harm in accepting and giving gifts. The object is that we should not be a burden on anybody. We have to earn our own living honestly, and live according to our means. We should not be a burden on society, nor on anybody--that is the object. While living in the world, we give things and we accept things. Practical arrangements with our relations, with our friends, naturally, will have to be there. I go to people. I dine with them; they come and they dine with me; but I should not be a burden on them without doing anything for them.

In friendship, in relationship, nothing should weigh on your heart. You should not worry that he has given you and now you are bound to give to him, or that he has not given anything to you, but you have given him so much. If that is the attitude, itis better not to give a gift. We should give and forget, and we shold accept and forget. These small things make no difference. We should not try to analyse or give too much importance to these things. We have to live in this world, and this is a world of give and take. There is no harm in these things. The only thing is that we should not be a burden on anybody, nor should we expect people to do for us without our realizing that we should also do something for them.

This principle of not accepting anything generally comes from our Indian point of view, because we have certain classes of mendicants in the garb of sadhus, as well as other beggars, even professional beggars. They will never give or do anythign for you, but they always expect you to give something to them. This is wrong. One should not become a burden on society or on any individual famiies or on any individual person; but in our relations, in our daily dealings, we accept things; that does not make any difference.

Q     So many say that if you accept gifts, you may have to come back here the next life.

A     If you give from the point of view that you are giving him today and in the next birth you will take from him, then you will have to come back. But if you have no ulterior purpose or motive in giving a gift and in accepting a gift, it is just quits ---  finished. I do not know about your country, but in India people give in charity from the point of view that in the next birth they will get the reward. They think if they give one dollar today to a beggar, they have sown a seed to get at least twenty dollars in the next birth. From that point of view, it is bad to give, because then you also expect to come back to receive. That is not right.


Q      Then, I also understand if someone comes to you and asks for anything, if you can give it to them, or if they want a loan, you should not give them a loan, but give it to them free, just outright?

A       We give loans, we take loans, we borrow money, we pay it back. I do not know why we should analyze these small things in such a big way. There is no sense in it. The whole world would stand still with your way of thinking. In the world we take loans from the banks, from bsuiness concerns, from individuals; we give loans to Banks, to business, to individuals.that is purely a matter of business.

When we give things in charity, we help people we serve them, but we should  never expect a reward. We shold not do it with a view to giving one thousand dollars in this life, and expecting it from you in the next birth. That is a wrong attitude. In India some people think that if they give you something in charity, they will think that if they give you something in charity, they will get much more in heaven. Probably people at the helm of affairs of those sects put that idea into their minds just to induce them to give charity. I do not know why the professionals have done this, for it is wrong.

A      very interesting letter was written to me about an American satsangi. The man wrote, " I am in love with --- and she is in love with me. She is my fianceee and I am going to marry her, I want to give her a watch and she refuses that, saying that she does not accept anything from a non-initiate, though she has been going out with me for the last six or seven months and I intend to marry her as soon as my business is set up. I think within six months I may marry her. She has promised to marry me and I have promised to marry her, but she will not even accept a watch. I do not understand this philosoophy." Now this is tretching things too far when she can go out with him, when she can dine with him, when she wans to play wife to him, not toaccept a watch from him really hurts. I explained to him that probably she did not understand it, that usually we should not accept gifts indiscriminately when we cannot give in return. Ultimately, they got married. They are both satsangis now. When we stretch things too far or analyze them too minutely, we lose sight of the real significance and purpose behind all this.

Q      Maharaj Ji, going back to the gifts again, giving should be always in the spirit of love and in the name of the Master?

A      Why bring the Master in?  Bring yourself in. Give and take. Do not  worry about these minor things.

Q      There seems to be an aversion to eating in people's houses, or if I talk to somebody, is there a personal karmic debt by thesoul?

A       You should not try to analyze these karmas too minutely. You will get nowhere. The main thing to remember is not to be a burden on anybody. There is no harm in eating in people's houses, no harm in inviting people to your house. We have to live in the world like normal human beings. There is no harm in accepting presents and giving presents. We can also do something for the other person if he does something for us. Naturally, this is the way of the world. The thing that we should try to remember is that we should not be a burden on anybody. We should just try to meet people on an equal basis. That is the main thing.

There is no harm in going to visit people and dining there, provided we can stand that atmosphere. If we are happy within ourselves, we are not going to feel guilty about what atmosphere we have come into. If that atmosphere is pulling us out of our way, if it is pulling us to the senses, then it is wrong and we should try to avoid it. Otherwise, I would never lay any restrictions on satsangis or initiates regarding mixing with their relations or friends who are not on the path.  We have to mix with others, are normal human beings as this world requires, but we should be strictly firm in our own principles. we shold not be drawn towards the worldly people. They should be drawn towards us.

Q       What is the best way to discipline children?

A       The best way is to be a good example. One has to make a lot of sacrifices for one's children, and one always has to set a good example for them. Their mind is just a clean slate, and their parents are always their heroes. They look upto their poarents and notice how they are behaving in this world. That always leaves a deep impression on them, and lasts a long time. Whatever we want to teach them, we can do best by being a good example to them. Supposing one smokes and does not want the child to smoke. How is it possible to impress the child that itis wrong? If the child has seen the parent smoking, how can that advice be effective? If we give advice, but are not living up to all the good advice that we give, the child knows, so that advice does not have any effect at all.

Q      Master, since wwe are talking about these things, does a parent have a right to punish his children?

A      When one corrects a child with the intention of helping him, it is not really punishment. when you want to take some revenge. In order to disciplien children you have to explain things, you have to be firm and sometimes also little harsh, but always in the interest of the child, and not so satisfy your own instinct of ego or of anger. While expaining or disciplining, one should not lsoe one's own balance of mind, but should always keep calm and cool. Sometimes we have to be firm and strong in our views and even in our actions.

Q      We should not permit ourselves to become angry?

A       One should not lose one's own balance.

Q       Are these karmic things which bring about anger?

A       We try to justify in this way all that we are seeing and all that is happening in this world. We can say it is all due to karma, but to take that attitude is definitely a weakness and we must take steps to overcome it. In order to overcome all such evil tendencies we must realizee that they are weaknesses. And the only way to realize that and to overcome these wekanesses it to attach our mind to Shabd.

Q       How does one keep from judging and criticizing others and thus take on a posture of self-righteousness? How does one control one's temper in the presence of such a person? How does one deal with such a person?

A       Everybody has to train hsi own mind. We have to develop our mind to that extent, that we are not affected by any criticism, we are not affected by any public opinion. In fact, we have to train ourselves rather than to train another person to that situation. We must train ourselves to fit into that situation. If the other person loses his temper, we cannt help it. It is for him to control his own mind. But we can control our own mind. If there is one fool under a roof, why do there have to be two? We must control ourselves.

Q      On the question of anger, when lving in this world, this society, there is a good deal of frustration. I do not know what difference there is between frustration and anger. I find that I can take it much better if I say some of these things which are making me angry, give some kind of outward expression to them, then I get rid of it.

A       You mean just to lighten yourself?

Q       Yes.

A       Well, prepare the others by informing them that you are just lifhtening yourself, that is all.

Q       I say to my husband, I am irritable and then .....?

A       There is no harm if sometimes we do become a victim to strong expressions, but we should not keep any grudge in the heart. We shold be honest enough to clear any misunderstanding that has arisen, and then just feel light about it.

Q       As citizens of the U S A we really have quite a problem. In my house my husband is very much interested in matters. For instance, we are a powerful country, and so many people are involved in a lot of intrigue and murder, and as a member of a democracy in which the citizen is supposed to help, direct the government, we bear a certain guilt for the things tha tour government does and we live with that daily. I just wondered, because it is something my husband speaks about continually and so it is part of our household?

A      Sister, just be a good citizen but do not get so much involved in these things that you do not live with yourself. The main thing is that we must live with ourselves. We must live with our meditation and not get so much involved in these outside things that they pull us down and make us forget the real purpose of this human life. It depends on individual circumstances as to how much we should get involved and how much we have to withdraw. We cannot have any hard and fast rule about these things. we have to live in some country and we have to be good citizens of that country. But as to how far we have to get involved in these things. I think our circumstanes and our own feelings will tell us.

Q      It is awfully difficulty.

A      Yes, these are chains around us to which we have become slaves. We are a slave of a family, we are a slave of a tribe, we are a slave of a city, we are a slave of a country, and then we find that we are a slave of this world and the whole universe. We have small rings around us, which we have formed into a huge chain and have bound ourelves with them. Gradually we have to get out of all these things, and when we get to the Lord, we will find that the whole universe belongs to us.

You have nothing to hate and nothing to feel frustrated about any nation, about any country, about anybody. All that is going on is His creation, and when we become part of Him, the whole creation becomes ours, whether we are in U.S.A., Russia, India, or any other country. We feel that it is all ours then. But since we now have that narrow outlook, we have to do our best, as circumstances permit. By meditation we get rid of this narrow outlook, attain a much broader view eventually, and go about our own work, without letting any of these things bother us.

Q      Maharaj Ji, what is the duty of a satsangi if he finds that his government is persecuting some minority community in a very unjust manner?

A      We should not mingle in politics at all. We should try to live without becoming involved in all that, because otherwise the very purpose of our life stands defeated. We should do our duty, whatever little we can to help, but we should remain sufficiently aloof so as not to get too much involved in these things. There are so many other people here in this world just for that purpose, and their main function is in these things.

Q      What about the situatin when countries are at war, and you are in the service and you are forced to kill? Should one become a conscientious objector then?

A      Brother, if you are really sincere and you do not want to kill, the situation will be such that you will never kill. You are always helped not to kill. There is a guiding force behind you which saves you from such situations. The Great Master was in military service; his Guru was in military service, adn they both served until the age of retirement, but they never killed anybody. The Lord is always there to help us in such situations.

Q      What is a satsangi's position in the case of a nation going to war?

A      He has no optioin but to be a part of that war, yet there is some other force to protect him and to help him under such circumstances, if he does not want to kill.

Q     Say you were in a position where you had to direct men to go out and kill?

A     If it is your duty, you have to do it; but still you will be guided in such a way that nothing bothers you in doing your duty. My own Beloved Great Master was a soldier in the army, and the founder of the colony was also a soldier, but they never had to kill anybody. They were right amidst the wars. Nature helps --- the Lord helps when we want it. Circumstances would shape in such a way that you would not have to bother much.

Q     They are initiates who ask those questions, and then we have to answer them and know not what to tell them.

A     You tell them that we have no organisation, that we are not bound to any particular religion, we are free to go anywhere we feel like going. We are only concerned with devotion to the Lord, with our meditation. We are not bound to any particular thing and that we are not stopped from going anywhere. we go where we feel like going, and when we no longer feel we are a part of that activity, we ourselves will no longer wish to go there.

Q     Maharaj Ji, some initiates seem to hink we are supposed to be perfect in this group, so they just get the wrong impression. I consider, in Sant Mat, the practice for spiritual development is a personal responsibility. I am only responsible to myself. Is that correct? And it is up to me to realize that spiritual development. I have to see the best way that I can and act in the best manner that I can. I cannot tell anyone else whether they are on the right track or not. Is that correct?

A      Brother, there are two things. With some people we are so much attached, we are so much in love as we call it, so much interested in them that we cannot bear to have them go to a different direction so we try to persuade them affectionately. The idea behind the affection and love for them is not to show off that they are wrong and I am right, or why you do not do as I am doing -- that idea should not be there. We should be so much interested in them that we can take the liberty to tell them that perhaps they are wrong and that it will be more beneficial and helpful to them if they come to this side. But we should never force anybody and we shold not try to hurt anybody. If they want to go to any side, let them go anywhere.

The conviction, the love, must come from within themselves, for then only will it be solid like a rock; otherwise, it is merely built on sand. In the latter case, the decision would be due to your emotional influence, your atmosphere, and when your influence is not there, they would again go astray. That is no use. We simply should tell them the advantages over all, being ourselves on the path, and that it is for them to make up their own mind about what is best for them. We are mainly concerned with ourelves, but we have certain responsibilities in this world towards our friends and relations and others, so we try to guide them; but if they do not feel like being guided, we should not feel perturbed about it.

Q     Do I understand from what has been said that we cannot actually reach happiness or heaven on this earth in our present form and that actually our soul has to reach a higher plane in some other form before we can really have happiness?

A     No, brother. What I am trying to explain is that as long as our attention is rooted in this world, we will never be able to get happiness. Even if we achieve all the comforts of the world we cannot be happy. We will be really happy only when the soul merges back into Him. As long as the soul is separated from the Lord, it can never be happy. We will get peace while in this world only when we are really devoted to the Lord within us. When we are working our way up, we are in tune with Him and we will also get happiness in this world. If we forget Him, this whole world becomes a place of agony and misery for us. That is what I am trying to explain. (Maharaj Ji gave the example of the child enjoying a fair as long as it was holding the fatehr's hand; but when it let go his father's hand and beame lost, it was miserable and bewildered in the very same fair.) We will only get happiness in His devotion. If we forget Him, we cannot get happiness from this world at all.

Q    In becoming attached to God, does that mean one is no longer attached, for instance, to one's husband or wife, or brother, or mother, or someone like that; I mean, does that exclude them?

A     Sister, there is a difference between attachment and duty. A wwife has a certain duty towards her husband. A husband has a certain responsibililty, a duty towards his wife. Yet there may not be any attachment . If there had been real attachment, there would not have been a single divorce in the States. This attachment that couples have is just a self-deception. They feel that they are attached, and when a situation arises, they feel that tehy hate each other. Where does that attachment go then? Those attachments are simply karmic relations of give and take. Certain responsibilities have to be fulfilled, and we have to play a certain role accordingly, whether as a husband, a wife, a child or some other relationship. We try to feel we are attached and yet within our heart we know we are not. If that attachment hd been so strong we would not have forgotten our own mother and sister and father, and we would not have fallen in love with another person. We are feeling so attached to parents, but on finding another attachment or with the lapse of time, we forget them. Where has that attachment gone?

Attachment really means forgetting the whole world, except the object of attachment. But we are shifting every day from place to place, from person to person so we really are not attached. We are to live in this world as a matter of duty, taking full responsibility as a wife or a husband, as a father or a son, as a citizen, and so on, and yet not be attached to them nor be affected by them. For example: when a married daughter goes to her parents, and yet she is attached to her husband living thousands of miles away from her. Her mind is not where she is. It is somewhere else. We are to live in this world like that. We have to be in the world, doing all our duties, yet our heart should be where it will enjoy the taste of the honey and fly away with dry wings. If it jumps into the bowl of honey, neither can it taste the honey nor will it be able to extricate itself; it will die.

If we keep our attention, our mind, our heart in the Lord, we will enjoy this whoel world. If we forget Him, this whole world will become miserable for us, for them we are in love with the things that He has given us and have forgotten the Giver. We are not grateful to the Giver, but are drowning ourelves in what He is giving us. We can only enjoy what He gives us if we are grateful to the One who gives. Instead, we are attaching ourselves to what He gives and are trying to deach ourselves from Him. So, we have to attach ourselves to Hi, and to nothing else. By doing so, we enjoy this at will, unscathed, as long as it does not leave the security of the edge of the bowl and get stuck in the honey.