Averting Conflict
Dealing With Difficult People
We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying. Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.

Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell the person how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don't portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behavior. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your poi! nt of view.

You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.

Hi Deborah,

Thank you for posting this, as I deal with some difficult person every day sometimes, and I have had to look deep into this because when I had not followed the advice you just gave about conflict, I ended up forgetting that the person I have a conflict with is even human. I have had to look into the part of myself that was once dark, and find compassion. With your words, and the words of my many angel friends here I am able to deal with the conflict now, and not be evil myself along with it, and get back to prayer, and light. Thank you for everything.
Love, Pamela

tape record yourself reading this... and then feel the om as u meditate to hearing these words ... it may take the darkening away and may even stay with you longer ...

when i get down or discouraged ..I read stuff such as this ... it brings my spirits back up ...

To be honest I was looking for something mean to post back in a pm to someone ..and HE did not let me he made me see the positive
..and funny this man we all know and love ...........always seems to pop up and say something just like a father would lol ..and makes u rethink things again... gosh that Pravin hehehe!!

These days I can not go to the woods its hunting season ..and not safe ..but that is my safe / release place...

I have some songs I wish to send to you.. i often sing them when walking in the woods ..maybe thats why im seeing old souls around my house and feeling them ..and they keep turning my tv on and off ..or sterios ..maybe i woke them up now they have some message ...I dont know ... but I do think these songs can help relax ya ..They are Native American songs...

I can share with anyone ..who needs ways to help relax to destress ..if it comes to me how to help ..and you want help ... these are just things I thought of for Pamela just now

Take Care Yaar
Deborah