I'm Oldfartcoza, born so long ago that I read in one of my journals that I was kicked off Noah's ark for driving under the influence of all the methane and ammonia gases we had in there. Man, mucking out was a chore that kept us all occupied 24x7!
Now to the serious stuff.
I live in South Africa, which is that haemorrhoid at the bottom of the Dark Continent. It's dark because there's practically no electricity in most of it. I was born in England and was imported to this country at the tender age of eighteen months, along with all the other curiosities my parents (both born in South Africa) brought home with them. This is the reason that my grammar and spelling will appear somewhat alien to our American brethren and sistren. Hey, the Americans can invent words (like "solubilize", when the word "dissolve" is perfectly functional) so why can't I?
I have no religion - being possessed of an intensely inquiring mind and a seeker after THE Truth, I cannot afford to have any dogmatic ideas about anything. Therefore, if some of my writings and comments seem controversial. it is only because I think completely sideways: "lateral" thinking is a kindergarten class to me. Everyone is invited to contact me about anything - except sport - I have no time for sport because the search for truth is a full-time occupation.
Ask me about anything: I may not know what the devil you're talking about, but that's never stopped politicians doing a fine job of wrecking everything, has it?
Well, here I am ... and there you are. I suppose we're stuck with one another from here on in. I promise to try to be as nice as I can, which isn't very. Let's try to have fun, anyway, shall we?

Hello Evie,
             Thanks for the welcome. I get so frustrated with people who are intellectually bankrupt that I wrote a poem especially for them:
God’s Gift to Man.
God gave man eyes with which they can see
But most creatures have them, so those it can’t be.
God gave Man hands so that tools men can make
But apes have them too, but they can’t even bake.
God gave men tongues with which they can chat
But men can’t speak as one, so it cannot be that.
So what does Man have, that other creatures do not?
That is the question that puts Man on the spot.
God's gift to Man is neither fang nor claw;
Not eagle’s hooked talon, nor snake’s poisoned jaw;
Not porcupine’s quills, nor donkey’s sharp kick;
Nor cat’s lightning reflexes: Man’s nowhere as quick;
Not tortoise’s tough shell, nor ratel’s foul stink:
God gave Man The Brain …
so for God's sake, Man,
THINK!
I was never any good at poesy, so please forgive the ignoramic prosody and concentrate on the message.
Sideways thinking is the only way to think: well, I didn't realise that I was thinking in this fashion until my early twenties, when it appeared to me that everybody else was quite stupid. I mean ... they would sit for hours mulling over a "problem", which actually had a very simple solution.
I cannot work for a boss: bosses hate me because I will always find a quicker, more efficient way to do things. I think it's jealousy that makes them that way: they cannot accept that a novice can do things more quickly and efficiently than they, who have been in the business for decades, can. You only have to show me how to do anything once and I will still find a better way.
Eventually it dawned on me that other people just don't think that way - if they are capable of thinking at all. They think they're thinking, but actually it's only indigestion.
People say I'm too critical of others and my argument is that I'm critical of myself - how does one progess if one is content with one's own stupidity. I do do stupid things. Other people think these actions of mine are normal, but I am not normal ! Ever since I discovered that I do not think as they do, I have striven to be supra-normal. The proverbial "box", which everyone tries to think "out of" is so far behind me that I can't even see it on the landscape from where I'm standing.
Q: Why do flies have wings?
A: Well, if they didn't, they'd be called "walks".
Q: Which are more intelligent - ducks or drakes?
A: Drakes, of course: ducks are quackers.
Some words of wisdom: Never be afraid to venture into the unknown. You might just learn something you didn't know before. Besides, what is unknown to you is commonplace to all those who live there.
Be good - but not too good, there's no fun in that.
Old Fart.

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Welcome - I love your wacky sense of humour!!!